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A couple's counselor with 30 years of experience has a list here of the top complains women have about men, and vice versa. I'll tackle women's complaints about men first, some of which I actually agree with. I'll tackle men's complaints about women in a near future post.
-By Caleb Jones
Woman's Top Complaints About Men
1. They are not understanding enough.
This is woman-language for "He doesn't engage me in my drama enough." "Understanding" in this context means "He won't sit there quietly and agree with everything I say while I bitch and complain."
2. They are not sensitive to feelings and needs.
See my comment about complaint number one.
3. They are not affectionate enough.
This one is a little more complicated. In a relationship or marriage that is well older than a year or two, yes, men lose a lot of their affectionate behaviors. That's very true, and women have a point there.
But here's the interesting thing. Know what women's biggest complaint about men is when they first start dating one? It's that they're TOO affectionate! Most men in the modern era get too lovey and too needy way too fast, especially those under age 24 or over age 40. So considering the simple nature of the male of the species, women are really asking for a lot here. "Don't be too affectionate while we're dating initially, but maintain your level of affection years into our relationship or marriage."
Yeah. Might as well ask him for a new Porsche and a monthly trip to Europe for you while you're at it. We're talking about MEN here, ladies. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
4. They tend to bypass sexual foreplay, and are quick to ejaculate thus losing their sexual interest, before the woman is satisfied. 100% agree. Men are horrible in bed. (That's why the few of us who learn how to pleasure a woman right are never without an abundance of sexual sustenance.)
5. They do not communicate enough. They do not express their feelings and thoughts.
This is a part of betaization, the never-ending process a woman uses on a man she's in a relationship with to transform him from a cool, exciting, Alpha male who fucks the shit out of her, to a to a boring, obedient Beta male who hands over his paycheck, says "Yes, Dear," and takes out the trash when ordered. Getting a man to "open up about his feelings" is one of the key methods of the betaization process.
6. They do not pay enough attention to their partners.
This is exactly the same as number three and thus redundant.
7. They do not spend enough time at home with their children.
I agree with this in general. I'm surprised at the number of men, (married, unmarried, or divorced) who don't spend a lot of time with their kids. For a father who doesn't live with his kids full-time, I spend lots of time with my kids and enjoy every minute of it.
HOWEVER, realize that in a large percentage of relationships, it is usually the WOMAN who is begging to have kids, and the pussy-whipped guy is just going along with it to shut her up. Keep that in mind when a woman is bitching about her husband/BFs behavior toward "the children". (Yes, this brings up the topic of "That doesn't matter! He chose to have the kids! He must be responsible!" Believe me, I agree with that more than you do. But I'm talking about women's reaction to what men do, not about men's responsibilities.)
1. They are not understanding enough.
This is woman-language for "He doesn't engage me in my drama enough." "Understanding" in this context means "He won't sit there quietly and agree with everything I say while I bitch and complain."
2. They are not sensitive to feelings and needs.
See my comment about complaint number one.
3. They are not affectionate enough.
This one is a little more complicated. In a relationship or marriage that is well older than a year or two, yes, men lose a lot of their affectionate behaviors. That's very true, and women have a point there.
But here's the interesting thing. Know what women's biggest complaint about men is when they first start dating one? It's that they're TOO affectionate! Most men in the modern era get too lovey and too needy way too fast, especially those under age 24 or over age 40. So considering the simple nature of the male of the species, women are really asking for a lot here. "Don't be too affectionate while we're dating initially, but maintain your level of affection years into our relationship or marriage."
Yeah. Might as well ask him for a new Porsche and a monthly trip to Europe for you while you're at it. We're talking about MEN here, ladies. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
4. They tend to bypass sexual foreplay, and are quick to ejaculate thus losing their sexual interest, before the woman is satisfied. 100% agree. Men are horrible in bed. (That's why the few of us who learn how to pleasure a woman right are never without an abundance of sexual sustenance.)
5. They do not communicate enough. They do not express their feelings and thoughts.
This is a part of betaization, the never-ending process a woman uses on a man she's in a relationship with to transform him from a cool, exciting, Alpha male who fucks the shit out of her, to a to a boring, obedient Beta male who hands over his paycheck, says "Yes, Dear," and takes out the trash when ordered. Getting a man to "open up about his feelings" is one of the key methods of the betaization process.
6. They do not pay enough attention to their partners.
This is exactly the same as number three and thus redundant.
7. They do not spend enough time at home with their children.
I agree with this in general. I'm surprised at the number of men, (married, unmarried, or divorced) who don't spend a lot of time with their kids. For a father who doesn't live with his kids full-time, I spend lots of time with my kids and enjoy every minute of it.
HOWEVER, realize that in a large percentage of relationships, it is usually the WOMAN who is begging to have kids, and the pussy-whipped guy is just going along with it to shut her up. Keep that in mind when a woman is bitching about her husband/BFs behavior toward "the children". (Yes, this brings up the topic of "That doesn't matter! He chose to have the kids! He must be responsible!" Believe me, I agree with that more than you do. But I'm talking about women's reaction to what men do, not about men's responsibilities.)
8. They do not help with order and cleanliness of the home.
This is a hugely common complaint, and housework a very simple, cut-and-dried issue with me. If you both work full-time, and you do more housework than he does, then I agree you have a valid complaint. In that case, housework should be a an equal responsibility unless you both agree to something different. But if you live with a man and you don't earn any income, or earn significantly less than he does, and he works full time to support your ass, you'd better shut the fuck up about the housework and get back to mopping that floor.
Before you call me a misogynist, I would say the exact same thing to HIM if YOU were working full time at a job and HE was staying home with no income or less income. It's not about gender, it's about who pays the bills. For Christ's sake, he's paying your bills, Darling. That's a pretty good deal, regardless of the housework. Shut up and enjoy it.
Don't like that? Fine, go get a full-time job, bust your ass, and do all the things necessary to make the money he does. Then, and only then, do you have the right to bitch about unequal housework chores.
9. They do not appreciate the work involved in keeping up the home or in bearing and bringing up children and do not compensate this contribution to family life.
Read what I said about number seven and number eight. My answer to this is the same. Either you're both working full-time and the household/children duties are equal responsibilities, or you're at home while he's handcuffed to a desk for 40 years, supporting you, and you need to shut up or get a job.
And remember it was likely you as the woman who badly wanted those kids, not him. It's childish to coerce a man into having kids and then turn around and complain he doesn't do a good job of raising them. What the hell did you expect? I see a lot of women do that and it's ridiculous.
10. They make decisions about work and life without regarding the woman's or the family's needs.
I'm not sure how he can make big life decisions without your consent. If he is, I'd say you're being a pussy and letting him do whatever he wants. But in principle, I agree that a couple should make big life decisions together.
However, realize that pure 50/50 does not exist in the world of human beings. Sometimes a big decision will suck for you as the woman, and sometimes it will favor you. You win some, you lose some. Too many women out there consider the "50/50" relationship as the "80/20" relationship favoring the woman, and this particular complaint smacks of this.
11. They create extramarital relationships.
Absolutely correct. The marital infidelity rate is around 70% to 77% percent, and it's about that in non-married relationships too. It's horrible. And it's exactly what happens when you force a concept on human beings that is totally unnatural and against everything they are biologically wired to do (stay monogamous to only one sexual partner). Human beings are not monogamous creatures and never have been. Monogamy is a silly, childish concept installed in your brain by your own insecurities and by societal elites in order to better control you.
Don't like cheating? Then only get marred if the marriage is open, or don't get married at all and stick with open relationships. Do that, and I promise no one will ever cheat on you (since the concept of "cheating" only exists in monogamous relationships).
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
This is a hugely common complaint, and housework a very simple, cut-and-dried issue with me. If you both work full-time, and you do more housework than he does, then I agree you have a valid complaint. In that case, housework should be a an equal responsibility unless you both agree to something different. But if you live with a man and you don't earn any income, or earn significantly less than he does, and he works full time to support your ass, you'd better shut the fuck up about the housework and get back to mopping that floor.
Before you call me a misogynist, I would say the exact same thing to HIM if YOU were working full time at a job and HE was staying home with no income or less income. It's not about gender, it's about who pays the bills. For Christ's sake, he's paying your bills, Darling. That's a pretty good deal, regardless of the housework. Shut up and enjoy it.
Don't like that? Fine, go get a full-time job, bust your ass, and do all the things necessary to make the money he does. Then, and only then, do you have the right to bitch about unequal housework chores.
9. They do not appreciate the work involved in keeping up the home or in bearing and bringing up children and do not compensate this contribution to family life.
Read what I said about number seven and number eight. My answer to this is the same. Either you're both working full-time and the household/children duties are equal responsibilities, or you're at home while he's handcuffed to a desk for 40 years, supporting you, and you need to shut up or get a job.
And remember it was likely you as the woman who badly wanted those kids, not him. It's childish to coerce a man into having kids and then turn around and complain he doesn't do a good job of raising them. What the hell did you expect? I see a lot of women do that and it's ridiculous.
10. They make decisions about work and life without regarding the woman's or the family's needs.
I'm not sure how he can make big life decisions without your consent. If he is, I'd say you're being a pussy and letting him do whatever he wants. But in principle, I agree that a couple should make big life decisions together.
However, realize that pure 50/50 does not exist in the world of human beings. Sometimes a big decision will suck for you as the woman, and sometimes it will favor you. You win some, you lose some. Too many women out there consider the "50/50" relationship as the "80/20" relationship favoring the woman, and this particular complaint smacks of this.
11. They create extramarital relationships.
Absolutely correct. The marital infidelity rate is around 70% to 77% percent, and it's about that in non-married relationships too. It's horrible. And it's exactly what happens when you force a concept on human beings that is totally unnatural and against everything they are biologically wired to do (stay monogamous to only one sexual partner). Human beings are not monogamous creatures and never have been. Monogamy is a silly, childish concept installed in your brain by your own insecurities and by societal elites in order to better control you.
Don't like cheating? Then only get marred if the marriage is open, or don't get married at all and stick with open relationships. Do that, and I promise no one will ever cheat on you (since the concept of "cheating" only exists in monogamous relationships).
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.