The Ones You Don't Lay

I’ve been talking a bit about the women I’ve had sex with recently.

It’s only fair I talk about the women I got out on dates whom I did not close.  Life isn’t all roses and pussy, and to get to the good stuff you often have to wade thorugh some bad stuff.  And I had a particularly large amount of bad stuff this time around.  Here’s a few dates I’ve had recently that went nowhere.

The Bitch

Hot, successful blonde.  We talked on the phone briefly, twice.  She rescheduled our first date once.  So far, very normal.

The night of the date (I had just come from another first date, since I like to stack my first dates; more time efficient that way) she informs me that the location has changed.  She wants me to swing by a restaurant where she’s with one of her girlfriends who is “just about to leave”.  I have a hard and fast rule that I don’t do first dates that involve any other people besides me and my prospect.  But the location she mentioned was right my way home from my other first date, so I went for it, knowing I’d make a discreet exit if she was there with other people.

I entered the restaurant and looked around.  I honestly did not see her (based on her pics).  Also, I did not see any groups of people less than four.  Which means she was either not there or there but with a large group of people.  Both unacceptable.  I whip out my brand new new Droid X and text her, asking where she is.  No response.  I walked out of the restaurant and called her.  Goes to voice mail, no response.  I text her one last time as I walk back to my car.  No response.   I shrug and drive home.

She calls a little while later.  I don’t answer.  She leaves me a voice mail “bewildered” that I couldn’t find her.  Uh huh.  Then she proceeds to call me EIGHT more times that evening.  Jesus.  I don’t answer, but send her a text telling her I’ll call her tomorrow.  She’s already blown it in my book and I’m in no rush to talk to her again for any reason.

I purposely put off calling her back.  The next day, in the early evening, she calls.  I don’t answer.  She calls THREE MORE TIMES.  I don’t answer.  She finally leaves me a voice mail saying I should not bother to call her back since it’s clear to her I’m a “flakey guy”.

Ever hear of “projection”, Darling?

The Gold Digger

Another hot blonde, and also somewhat successful.  We meet up and she’s fantastic.  We get along great and she’s an amazing kisser.  (God I love those!)  On the second date we get a bite to eat at a mall, and she spies some $150 perfume at Nordstroms and implies heavily that she wants me to buy it for her.  I, of course, gently refuse.  It’s not a problem and for the rest of the time it’s great, we eat, make out in the car, and I suck one of her boobs, but she refuses to go home with me no matter what I try.

When I try to schedule another date, she doesn’t respond to my text.   I text her again four days later.  She sends me a text saying “I’m used to dating men who do nice things for me.  After our last date, it’s clear you’re not that kind of guy.”  I know that “do nice things” is woman-language for “buy me stuff”.

I also know from experience that at this point, I’ve lost her and will never see her again.  So I have a little fun.  I text back saying “Huh?” and she responds “You couldn’t even buy me a gift.”  For fun, I throw some logic at her (Which you should NEVER do, by the way.  Again, at this point I was just playing with a dead horse.  Or should I say, whore.) and pointed out it was clear I had no problem paying for both dates.  She responded with, and I quote, “I can eat and drink at home with my family.”

Ah, gold diggers.  Gotta love ’em.  The saddest part about this is the reason she’s used to this behavior is because men actually fall for that shit and do buy women expensive gifts on the first or second dates, before they’ve even had sex!  So of course certain women are going to become accustomed to, and expect, that kind of behavior.  Because of this, she honestly thought I was being an asshole for not handing her $150.

As usual, the problem starts with men.

The ASD Gal

Another hot blonde.  (I like blondes.  I’m sure you can’t tell.)  Fun and bubbly.  Her body language suggested strong interest on the first date.  We were both pressed for time (she’s a Realtor) so our meet was quick.

When I schedule the second date, she says she wants to, because I “kinda turned her on”, but she “can’t”.  Because she now has a “fling”.  But she says “Don’t worry.  It’s just a fling.  I’m sure it will be over within two weeks.”  I tell her that’s fine, and she should just see me then.  Oh no, she says.  She can’t be having sex with two guys at the same time.  God forbid.  The tectonic plates of the continents might collapse and the world might end, you know.  I can just see the ASD flowing out of my phone as she’s texting me this irrational shit.

I mention, dangerously, it’s weird she’ll block off other guys she wants for a guy who she herself knows will be gone in two weeks.  She responds with “I know, right?”

Well, at least she knows she’s being irrationally stupid.  So that’s something I guess.  (Assuming she’s telling me the truth about all this; it’s possible she’s making up excuses.)  I could have thrown a bunch of logic at her to piss her off just like with Ms. Gold Digger, but in this case, she’s worth keeping “on the books” for a while.  I’ll keep Ms. ASD on the ol’ spreadsheet and follow up with her in about three weeks and see how things are going.  Odds of me ever fucking her: low.  But it’s worth a few texts in a few more weeks.

The moral to the story is the bad comes with the good.  Just be sure to weed out the bad as fast as you can so the good comes quickly.  And don’t let the bitches get you down.  For every bitch, there’s a cool chick right around the corner waiting for you.  I still got three lays out of this run (plus Ms. Gold Digger’s tits) so it’s all good.

Oh…by the way…all three of these women were over the age of 30.  (And one of them was actually over my maximum age of 33; she was super-hot so I stupidly made an exception.)

That’s not a coincidence.

5 Comments on “When Your Dating Fails

  1. What do you mean “…and pointed out it was clear I had no problem paying for both dates.”

    Did you have two dates with her, or were you and here the sum total of two dating individuals ?

  2. I paid for both dates for both of us. Per my system, I don’t mind paying for the cost of the 1st or 2nd date as long as it’s inexpensive, as in a quick drink or at worst, an appetizer. No fancy dinners!

    Many of my lays I pay nothing, but the ones where I do pay my average cost for both dates is under $20.

  3. Just for inquiry,

    “Another hot blonde, and also somewhat successful.  We meet up and she’s fantastic.  We get along great and she’s an amazing kisser.  (God I love those!)  On the second date we get a bite to eat at a mall, and she spies some $150 perfume at Nordstroms and implies heavily that she wants me to buy it for her.”

    In this, were you kissing her on the second date or did you already kiss her on your first meet up/date? This would obviously go against your hard-fast rules on not kissing on first dates, so I assume you just were making out on the second date before you went shopping with her?

    Not being a troll, just curious as maybe there’s a loophole where it’s ok to kiss on first date?

    Look forward to hearing from you BD, your blog/books have changed my life.

  4. Also, this old article having resurfaced, you might as well let the public know what the outcome was with Ms. ASD : )

  5. In this, were you kissing her on the second date or did you already kiss her on your first meet up/date?

    We kissed on the second date. I follow my own rules.

    This would obviously go against your hard-fast rules on not kissing on first dates, so I assume you just were making out on the second date before you went shopping with her?

    Read the rest of the paragraph. We made out in the car after shopping.

    you might as well let the public know what the outcome was with Ms. ASD : )

    I never saw her again, and didn’t want to.

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