In order to put this article in the proper context, I strongly recommend you read these articles first:
I will be referring often to points I already made in those articles, and I will ignore any comments that are questions or objections already answered in those articles, so please take the time to read (or re-read) those articles before reading this one, particularly if you plan to leave a comment on this post.
Before I get into the main point of this discussion, I need to address a few things first.
First are those guys who think paying for sex in any way whatsoever is disgusting and would “never do that.” As I clearly stated in the above linked articles, philosophically I don’t disagree. I think the entire concept of paying for sex is absurd. I have to give you money in order to make you feel good and give you an orgasm? Huh? Shouldn’t you be paying me money for that?
I suppose you could make that argument if I threw a hooker down on the floor with no foreplay, shoved my cock inside, pumped her for three minutes, came, then immediately kicked her out of my house. But, as regular readers know, that is not the way I have sex. I never have sex with professional hookers, I never have one night stands, and I only engage in long-term relationships with women, so it’s just as important these women feel good during sex as I do, regardless of if she’s a FB, sugar baby, MLTR, or OLTR.
That right there is one of the core differences between having an ongoing sexual relationship with a sugar baby versus a professional hooker. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The point is I agree that the entire concept of paying for sex is nonsensical, but most things about our current society are nonsensical, and I live in the real world. A core Alpha Male 2.0 trait is to acknowledge the real world for how it really is, not live in a philosophical fantasy-land that only exists in your own head. If you never want to have sex with a woman where money is involved, even in your old age, that’s fine, but I will ignore comments that just say “I would never do that; that’s gross” since I’ve already made my position on this very clear, both here and in the above linked articles.
The second group of guys I need to address are those on the other extreme side, who think paying for sex is a great idea since ALL sex is transactional in some way, and that NO woman has sex just because she likes sex. That is empirically incorrect, and I’ve already addressed you guys in the article Is All Sex Transactional? and I will ignore comments from you guys as well since I’ve already addressed this silly topic.
Okay! Now we can get to the main topic!
Is sugar daddy game prostitution?
Well, as I talk about in The Ultimate Online Dating Manual and The Ultimate Younger Woman Manual, there are two distinct types of sugar daddy game: pay-for-it game and don’t-pay game (otherwise known as “salt daddy game”).
Pay-for-it game is when you do indeed pay the sugar babies but use various techniques to get that number down to as microscopically small as you can. Don’t-pay game is when you use sugar daddy dating sites to get laid but don’t pay these women at all, instead using very strong game and an Alpha frame. I’ve done a lot of both of these and I discuss exactly how to do this in the above two linked books.
Don’t-pay game is not prostitution. I would argue that sometimes it’s a very high-cost form of game regardless, but it’s not prostitution at all, since you’re not paying her.
Pay-for-it game is prostitution on a technical level. You’re paying her for sex, she (ostensibly) would not have sex with you unless you paid her, so yes, technically it’s prostitution.
Now let’s talk about the next question, which I think is more relevant: Is sugar daddy game just like prostitution?
The answer is no. There are some significant differences. So much so that while I have literally never paid a prostitute for sex, I have no problem carrying on a long-term FB relationship with a sugar baby or two. There’s a reason for that. Several reasons, actually. I shall explain.
While I have never paid a prostitute for sex, I have had sex with one or two professional prostitutes in the past for free via normal game. I’ve also known several professional hookers in my day, so I know a little something about this.
There are significant differences between a hooker and a sugar baby.
A professional hooker is a woman who has sex with four, five, seven, perhaps even eight or nine men in one day. It’s her job. She churns them out like an assembly line. She is on-call pretty much 24/7, and is accustomed to suddenly canceling appointments in her personal life at all times, even late in the evening, to go fuck one of her customers.
When she has sex, she puts on a show. She doesn’t enjoy it at all. It’s just a job to her. She either can’t enjoy sex at all, with anyone, or she has to go find “normal” guys to have sex with so that she can enjoy sex. (I had a brief FB like this; I was her “normal” guy she could have sex with so she could “not feel like a whore.”)
It’s a hard life. Dangerous too. Rape and physical abuse is common. Drug abuse is also common.
On the plus side, these women make thousands upon thousands of dollars a month, tax free. In places like Vegas, hookers making $25,000 a month or more are not uncommon. Even in the Portland area where I live, they can easily make $15,000+ a month, again, all tax free.
A sugar baby is absolutely nothing like this. I’ve had sex with many sugar babies for several years now so I know a lot about this as well. A sugar baby is a normal cute girl who needs some extra money for either clothing/fun, college, or her kid if she’s a single mom.
She’s normal, in that if she’s fucking you, you are usually (though not always) the only sugar daddy she’s fucking. She’s only fucking you and her boyfriend, and sugar babies almost always have boyfriends. That’s pretty much it. (Yes, there are exceptions to this, as I’ll discuss in a minute.) She is also normal in that if she’s fucking you, she is attracted to you on some level. Otherwise, she would never fuck you regardless of how much money you paid her. This is the core difference between a sugar baby and a hooker (who will fuck any man no matter how disgusting).
At least 60% of sugar babies are also Type Two VYW who are genuinely attracted to older men. These women actually like having sex with you to some degree. You can tell. The other 40% are more like hookers and are just fucking you for the money, so during sex, they’re pretty much waiting for you to finish. Feel free to hard next these women if you don’t like having sex like that (I typically don’t either) and stick with the 60% who actually enjoy having sex with you at least to some degree.
One could argue that all of these 60% of women are just really good actors and are faking it during sex; that they actually hate having sex with you but they are so amazingly talented at sexual deception that they can convince you that they like it when they really don’t. In some cases, this is true, but the majority of the time, no. Again, these women are not hookers. These are normal, everyday girls. If you have sex with them over and over again, they don’t have the ablity to fake it 100% of the time, every time. You’d eventually notice.
Moving on, you can carry on long relationships with these women that last many years. My longest relationship with a FB sugar baby is going into its fifth year. The dynamic feels just like a normal FB; there is literally no difference except a little money is involved. And again, if you “feel” a difference, like she’s just there for the money and hates having sex with you, you can drop her. I’ve certainly done this once or twice myself.
This is why I have no desire to ever have sex with a prostitute/hooker but have no problem having a few sugar babies in my life despite my philosophical opposition to the concept of paying for sex.
Now here’s the objection I know that’s coming: Wait a minute BD, not all hookers are like that (NAHALT?). Some hookers are perfectly classy women who look and act perfectly normal, live perfectly normal lives, and can see you on a regular basis, just like a FB relationship.
Here’s the problem. I know a lot of hookers and I know a lot of men who bang a lot of hookers, and I can tell you for a fact that the type of hooker you’re describing is the rare exception to the rule. As I’ve been saying for years, if your only argument is presenting the exception to the rule, then I win. The vast majority of hookers and the vast majority of men who have sex with hookers are not having sex with hookers like that at all. They’re banging typical hookers as I’ve described above, from “normal” hookers, to streetwalkers, to cheap Thailand hookers, to high-class hookers who still fuck many men a day, every day they work.
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with those kinds of hookers, and there’s nothing wrong with you paying for sex with those kinds of hookers as long as you meet the two criteria I stated here. That’s fine. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t like having sex with those kinds of women, nor would a lot of other guys.
I’m just saying that having sex with hookers and having sex with sugar babies are two very different things (with unusual exceptions) despite the fact they are both scenarios where paying for sex is involved. They’re in the same category, but they are two different things.
And of course, if you never want to pay for sex ever, regardless of hooker or sugar baby, I completely agree with you.
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