Recently I polled you guys about which topics I should talk more about on this blog. The number one most requested topic, perhaps unsurprisingly, was more seduction and dating techniques.
Message received. I have heard you and I’m here to give you want you want. This will be the first in a very long series of blog articles that will help boost your dating skills so you can meet whatever woman and/or sexual goals you have. If you have not yet subscribed to this blog, I strongly suggest you do so by hitting the subscribe button in the upper-right (of the desktop version of the site) so you will receive these future articles. (And an entirely new and improved Blackdragon Blog, where I’m going to implement pretty much all of your suggestions, is coming in just a few weeks.)
What Exactly Is ASD?
The topic of ASD is a confusing one and I get a lot of questions about this. It is absolutely critical to your dating skills that you understand ASD and how to maneuver around it.
ASD stands for Anti-Slut Defense. It is not my term. It’s a term that came out of the pick-up artist community, and despite its odd name, it’s a very real thing that has a huge influence on your success with women, or lack thereof.
I define ASD in my glossary thusly:
ASD – Anti Slut Defense. A condition created by societal programming experienced by women wherein they attempt to avoid sex, even if they want it, so as to not look or feel like a “slut” or “inappropriate” or not like “a lady.” ASD is a cause for major confusion, frustration, and psychological dysfunction in women, since they strongly desire sex but are repeatedly told there is something wrong with it.
ASD often drives women, even very intelligent ones, to extremely irrational behavior and rationalizing. Because ASD is a direct result of exposure to societal programming, ASD grows every year a woman ages until it maxes out around her early 40s. For example, a 37 year-old woman will easily have ten times the ASD of a 19 year-old woman.
ASD makes it harder for you to get laid. It’s a serious problem. That’s why you must understand it and get good at managing it.
ASD is a direct result of Societal Programming. This cancer is placed in women’s heads by two sources:
1. Other women who are trying to kneecap the competition.
2. Traditional and usually angry right-wing men who hold outdated social views.
Because of these two groups, that super cute girl sitting across from you on that second date who is attracted to you can, and perhaps will say no to you when you attempt sex… not because she doesn’t want to have sex with you, but because she doesn’t want to be called a “slut” by her girlfriends or the Republican men she knows.
Why She Says No
As I talk about in great detail in my primary dating book, Get To Sex Fast, if a new woman refuses to have sex with you when you make the attempt, there are three, and only three possible reasons:
1. She isn’t attracted to you enough.
2. She’s attracted to you enough, but her ASD is too high.
3. She’s attracted to you and her ASD isn’t too high, but she feels like someone might get in trouble if she has sex with you.
That’s it. Those are literally the only three reasons why a woman you’ve never had sex with says no to sex with you. (This does not apply to when a woman you’ve already had sex with says no to sex. That’s a very different scenario and it could be for a variety of other reasons, including boredom, anger, betaization, and so on. But that’s a relationship management issue, not a dating/seduction issue. Today we’re only talking about having sex with a new woman.)
Reason #1 is usually your fault and reasons #2 and #3 are often outside of your control. You have some influence over them, but not nearly as much as #1.
Reason #2 is purely based on ASD. You can do your best to avoid it, mitigate it, and navigate around it, and I’ll discuss how to do that in a minute, but you need to realize that no matter how strong your game is, you can still be confounded by ASD.
I have had second dates where I failed to have sex despite my best efforts, where the women were saying how wet they were and how badly they wanted to have sex but “couldn’t.” I’ve had second dates where I tried to have sex, the women said no, then quickly ran home, masturbated while thinking about me, then texted me and told me all about it. I’ve had other second dates where the women said no, went home, then immediately sent me texts saying they “made a mistake” and “should have had sex with me.”
This kind of crap is (usually) pure ASD. You need to be prepared for it.
How to Mitigate ASD
As I said, you can’t cure ASD and you can’t always get around it no matter how good you are. But you can do some things to lessen its effect on you.
1. Put in the numbers. This should be obvious. The guy who goes out on ten first dates in a week is going to be far less hampered by ASD than the guy who goes out on two. If you are really cranking the numbers, and you should be, the one or two women who have high ASD won’t be nearly as bothersome to you.
The only time ASD really pissed me off is when I knew I didn’t have enough first and second dates already scheduled on the calendar.
2. Don’t do anything that spikes ASD during first or second dates. Lots of guys have huge problems with this. Frankly, much pick-up/PUA advice actually exacerbates this as well. Men often blurt out highly sexual shit that actually spikes ASD (bad) instead of increasing sexual attraction and tension (good).
Talking about sex casually is good. Telling a girl you wonder what her boobs taste like will spike ASD.
Talking about what she likes in bed is good. Telling a girl you both should go back to your place after 20 minutes on the first date will spike ASD.
Telling a woman she has great energy is fine (but be careful). Telling a woman her best friend or sister is super hot will spike ASD.
I’ve coached hundreds of men on the topic of dating, and one of the biggest things men do wrong is that they say and do things on first/second dates that spike ASD. Don’t do this. As always, she should be doing 80% of the talking on these dates anyway. One of the many reasons for this is to ensure that you don’t say anything that inadvertently spikes ASD and ruins your chances.
3. Date as young as possible, ideally under the age 33. As I said above, ASD in women increases with age. 18 year-old girls have virtually zero ASD and will happily have sex with you very quickly as long as they’re attracted enough to you. But that 41 year-old woman has vast mountains of ASD and will not have sex with you quickly even if she’s extremely attracted to you, and is far more likely to put you into make-him-wait mode and make you jump through more hoops like a good little monkey in order to get to her Unique and Magical Pussy™. (And yes, there are always odd exceptions to every rule.)
As I’ve talked about in the past, my results with women skyrocketed the instant I drew a line at age 33 (the Age of Doom, when ASD really spikes) and only started dating women below that age (with occasional exceptions).
Men who start dating younger are always shocked at how easy it is to get laid quickly when they do this, especially when they go below age 23, where ASD is the lowest.
4. Screen for lower-ASD women. To be clear, I do not do this (other than the age thing above). I personally think screening is usually a very stupid thing to do (I talk about why here). Yet, I have to admit that I’ve seen other guys get good at screening for low-ASD women and it can work very well. This can’t really be done with online dating and is only done with daygame, night game, and social circle game.
I can’t advise you on specifics regarding this, but it involves bantering and kino (touching) with women and getting a feel for their level of ASD, and perhaps even if they’re DTF. If they aren’t, you drop the conversation fast and move on to the next girl, and keep going until you find one that’s ready to rock. Then you proceed on her.
If you can do those four things, ASD will be much less of an issue for you, but it will still be an issue, again, no matter what you do. Sadly, ASD is a fact of life. You can lessen it, but you’ll never eliminate it.
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