Several of you sent me this article here which analyzes the numbers of men having, or not having sex. It analyzes the clams of incels that the “Chads” are taking all the girls, leaving the incels with “none.”
Before I go into the details of these numbers, let me state a few facts first.
Fact 1: Millennials and other young people are having less sex than any other prior generations. Read this article and this one, where I quote all the stats that clearly show there is not a “hookup culture.” My Generation X and the Baby Boomer generation before me were having tons more sex as young people than young people do today, and that applies to both men and women.
This is amazing to me, since back when I was young, there was no internet or online dating. On top of that, we had a more conservative, right-wing, 1980s Regan-era culture. All of that made having sex with new women much harder than it is today. We are living in a weird era where having sex with others is as easy as it has ever been, yet people aren’t taking advantage of it. Fascinating.
Fact 2: Of course there is a bell curve with this stuff, with a few men on the low end having zero sex, a few men like me on the high end having tons of sex with lots of hot girls, and a huge mountain of normal beta males having occasional sex with average women in the middle. So regardless of what I’m about to report, I don’t think there aren’t a few men at the very top getting a lot more hot girls than other men. Of course that’s true.
Okay, with those two things being said, here’s what the article’s datasets report.
1. Whether or not men are getting less sex in the last few years varies depending on the study done. Some indeed report this, but others report that since 2010, men have been getting laid more. So there is no scientific consensus on this.
2. The standard MGTOW/incel/internet loser line of “20% of the men are getting 80% of the sex” is false. If it were true, these 80% would have to be having sex twice a day, every day, without stopping, to maintain these numbers.
Even I don’t have sex that often. I “only” have sex three times a week or so, but to be fair, I’ve been doing that very consistently for a decade or so, without a break, and with multiple women. But even with my numbers I can’t be in this mythical 80/20 distribution.
What is more accurate, at least according to the research, is that at best, the top 20% of men are getting 50-60% of the sex while the other 80% is fighting over the remaining 50-40%. This also jives with my anecdotal experience.
3. There is no growth in the amount of sex the top 20% of men are getting. To quote the article,
There’s no appreciable change in the concentration of sex among never-married young men and women. The core incel story about what’s going on here—that a few Chads are hoarding a growing share of Stacies, depriving incels of mates—just doesn’t hold up. The top 20% of unmarried men are having about the same share of total sexual activity or sexual partnerings as has been the case for decades.
Exactly. Way back when I was in high school during the late 1980s, I was a virgin throughout high school, as were most of my friends. However, there were a small handful of guys who were having sex with lots of different girls, including many of the girls I wanted to have sex with.
And this was 30 fucking years ago. You didn’t see me or my friends bitch about “Chads,” muscular guys, PUAs, or Alpha Males. We didn’t bitch and moan about how we were all fucked and there was nothing we could do, and how we were doomed to just jerk off to porn for the rest of our lives, or how there was no way we could ever marry a hot girl or blah blah blah blah. Seriously, not once did me or any of my horny-but-virgin friends ever have any conversation like this.
Instead, my friends and I (at least most of them) just got older, improved our confidence, and ended up having sex with hot girls. We weren’t hopeless incels. We were just late bloomers. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23 years old. Do I care? Nope. I more than made up for that a little later in life. Today, my sex life is beyond my wildest teenage fantasies, and I mean that literally.
This kind of thing is normal and natural. Just calm down, get your shit together, work on your confidence, outcome independence, appearance, and game. Then you’ll get laid, and with hot girls. Yes, it will take some time, but you’ll get there if you keep at it. That’s how success works.
4. According to some studies, the amount of never-married sexless men has increased a little in the last few decades (though not very much since 2005). But the reason isn’t “Chads”. The reason is something I’ve been talking about on this blog for years. It’s because less young people are getting married.
Guys are getting tired of getting financially ass-raped in divorces, so the rate of men in their 20s getting marred has dropped like a stone. Since a percentage of men were only getting sex because they were getting married, that group of men has gone without sex since marriage rates have dropped.
Important point the article does not address: The actual marriage rate has not decreased. It’s just been delayed. Men are still getting married in the exact same massive numbers they always have… it’s just that they’re waiting longer to do it. The average guy used to get married at age 23. Now he waits until he’s 29. But men still aren’t “not getting married.”
So all this red pill / manosphere messaging about how men are “fleeing marriage” is bullshit. They’re not fleeing, they’re just delaying. Men still get married, they just wait until their 30s to do it.
5. Statistically, virginity rates are higher with men who still live at home with their parents. As the Western world continues its slow economic and cultural collapse, more and more men are living at home with their parents at later ages. Thus, more men are going to be virgins.
This matches with my experience talking to men over the last many years. Of the men over age 25 who tell me they’re still virgins, a huge percentage majority of these guys are still living at home with at least one of their parents.
So this increase has nothing to do with “Chads.” It has to do with economics (as well as these corporatist bastards you people keep voting into office).
The article sums it up this way:
But whatever the direct effect of education on never-married men, the primary cause of the rise in sexlessness is simply the increasing delay of marriage. The delay in marriage has numerous causes, of course, but probably the most powerful driver of marital timing also relates to education. Men and women are much less likely to get married while attending school, and across times and countries, an increase in the years of schooling is associated with later age of marriage, though more-educated people do tend to get married eventually. Thus, as more and more schooling becomes necessary for a good middle-class job, marriage gets pushed later and later, leaving more young people (men and women!) companionless and lonely.
The rise of young male sexlessness isn’t about Chads and Stacies; it isn’t primarily about Tinder or Bumble; it’s not mostly about attitudinal shifts in what women want from relationships; and it’s not mainly about some new war between the sexes. It’s mostly about people spending more years in school and spending more years living at home. But that’s not actually a story about some change in sexual politics; instead, it’s a story about the modern knowledge economy, and to some extent exorbitant housing costs. As such, it’s no surprise that rising sexlessness is being observed in many countries. This, in turn, suggests that finding a solution to help young people pair up may not be as easy.
Now please, for fuck’s sake, stop complaining like a baby and instead get to work on your life so you can be happier.