The last country on my Latin America tour is Colombia, specifically its primary city, Bogotá. I’m checking Colombia out not because of the usual reasons Westerners come here; it’s not because of the women, and not because I want to live there, and not because I think it’s cheap.
Instead, Colombia has the best prospects for long-term growth outside of Asia, so I needed a boots-on-the-ground visit verify if I want to invest here.
Before I get into this, I need to head off these questions/statements I know I’ll get in the comments:
BD, why didn’t you go to Medellín???
BD, you should go to Medellín!!!
Medellín is awesome and Bogotá sucks! You should have gone to Medellín, BD!!!
For those of you who don’t know, the Colombian city of Medellín is worshipped by white expats and digital nomads all over the world. (The only city on Earth they like more is Chiang Mai.) Yes, yes, I know a lot of you guys have a huge hard-on for Medellín. That’s great. But I have no pressing need to visit that city for two reasons:
1. My priorities are different than yours. As I said above, I’m not a sex tourist nor a digital nomad; that isn’t why I’m here. The only thing I plan on using Colombia for going forward is international investing. I’m not here just to bang chicks or get some super cheap apartment.
2. When I check out a country, I do not want to look at that country’s “best” city. I need to see the “real” country, via its largest and primary city, so I can see both the good and the bad. If you think Medellín is better than Bogotá, that’s wonderful, I believe you, but I can’t judge Colombia on its best city. That makes no sense. I need to see the “real” Colombia.
Therefore I will probably ignore the topic of Medellín in the comments. Cool? Cool. Now let’s go…
Yep, the rumors are true and Colombia indeed lives up to at least most of the hype. Colombian women are, without a doubt, the hottest women in the entire Latin world, and possibly even the hottest women on the planet depending on your taste in women. As soon as you leave the airport, you can instantly see the difference.
This is a paradise if you’re into curvy women like I am. Tiny, trim, beautiful women with gigantic boobs and massive bubble butts that pop out of their pants like torpedoes. White women just don’t have bodies like this (with very rare exception). It’s just as good as Paraguay except that there are even more pretty women here and, in many cases, the curves are even more exaggerated.
This applies to both younger women and older MILFs. It’s across the board.
Yes, they’re hot as hell here. BUT, I need to give you the complete story, since Colombian women are often over-hyped on red pill and expat websites.
Yeah, they’re hot, but Bogotá is not a place where you have a non-stop horde of super-hot babes walking around at all times. If you want that kind of experience, you need to go to Miami Beach or Tokyo. Those places will blow you away; you won’t believe what you see. But that is not the case in Colombia. Here, there are still hordes of ugly women, overweight women, and average women. There’s just a lot of cuties and hotties mixed in.
Also, there are a lot of women here who have amazing bodies, I mean perfect-10 fantasy bodies… but with average or even borderline ugly faces. You’ll see this a lot; you’ll walk by a woman and see her amazing ass, amazing boobs, amazing legs, perfect trim body… then you’ll see her face and be jolted a little by how unattractive it is, or the harsh Mayan/Aztec features that make it look unusual to Western eyes (but hey, maybe some of you guys are into that).
Another distinct problem here is that, unlike other Latin cities I’ve visited, women do not age well here. There seems to be a wall at about age 50, where as soon as a woman hits it, her skin, body, and teeth just go to shit. I’m betting this is because of the lower standard of living here, particularly the air quality and food quality (both of which I’ll get to in a minute).
So yes, lots of Colombian women are ultra-hot. I was at a mall today and I was stunned. It’s just not the perfect-10 pussy paradise a lot of guys say it is. The non-hot women far outnumber the hot women here as they do in most other parts of the world.
Another interesting aspect is that cosmetic surgery is far more common here in Colombia than anywhere in the West. For example, as you walk around, you will regularly see multiple women with huge bandages on their noises from recent surgeries. Not to mention fake boobs and so forth.
Horrible Air Quality
The air in Bogotá is disgusting. Bogotá has, hands down, the worst air quality of any city I have ever visited in my life, and that includes all the high-pollution Chinese cities I’ve spent significant time in.
As soon as you walk out of a building here, and just look across the street, you see the drab, horrible, smoky, grey air. Then you start walking around, and you can smell it and taste it in your mouth. It’s fucking gross. You know that horrible stink after 4th of July when all the fireworks are done? Imagine that lingering in all the air around you, non-stop, throughout your entire city. That’s Bogotá.
It got so bad that after walking around the city for just an hour, I felt a slight burning sensation in one of my nostrils that bordered on actual, minor pain. (It went away every time I entered a building, so I know it was the pollution outside.)
This really sucks, since I usually spend hours upon hours walking around a new city. I just can’t do this here. It feels like I’m getting cancer every time I walk down the street here, even for about 15 minutes. For the first time ever, when I visited a new city, I found myself not wanting to go outside. Instead of walking everywhere, which is what I prefer, I’ve spent most of my travel here using taxis and Uber.
It’s a real shame.
The Safety Issue
Outside of the women, this is the biggest question most people have regarding Colombia. Is it safe?
The answer is that it’s perfectly safe as long as you’re not stupid. I’ve seen and read about many Westerners encountering crime problems here, but 100% of the cases I’ve seen, and I mean this now, 100% of the time the Westerner in question was doing something stupid that could have easily been avoided with a little beforehand research and common sense. Things like:
- Walking around by yourself at night in sparse areas.
- Walking around by yourself in notably dangerous neighborhoods.
- Blatantly flashing your expensive phone on a selfie stick while taking selfies or vlogs in touristy areas where thieves prey.
- Bringing a complete stranger woman back to your apartment/hotel room and letting her spend the night with you.
- And so on.
I have never heard of a case of a Westerner encountering any crime anywhere in Colombia while behaving intelligently. I was here for several days, went all over the place, and didn’t have a single problem. I just made sure to stay north of La Candelaria, didn’t flash my phone or money in public, kept my wallet in my front pocket instead of my back pocket, and stuck with largely populated areas. Very simple. If you’re not stupid, you’ll never have a problem in Colombia.
The people here, as usual for Latin America, are quite friendly (though not as friendly as Paraguay). Virtually no one speaks English, including some of the staffers at various locations were you would expect such, so if you don’t speak Spanish, you will struggle a little. (Google Translate helps a lot, but it’s still a hassle.)
Side note: I am required to learn at least rudimentary Spanish as part of my residency programs, so I have no excuse anymore to put this off. Honestly, this entire trip, as fun as it has been, would have been much more enjoyable had I known how to speak Spanish.
Again, as usual for Latin America, the culture here is much more fun and vibrant than most Western cultures. It’s very similar to Mexico City in that way. Lots of dancing, celebrating, interesting street vendors, and just overall colorful people. It’s extremely enjoyable and very fun.
Much like Brazil, Colombia is much more hyper-sexualized than the West. Women here dress very sexy, even in scenarios most Westerners would deem inappropriate. The age of consent here is 14 (Jesus Christ, too low, it should be 16) and it’s not uncommon here to see very young girls around age 13 or 14 dressed in too-sexy ways that would surprise most Westerners (myself included), only to be walking next to their mom who has no problem with it. You could argue this is my own Societal Programming, and you’re probably right. Just be aware of this if you’re more traditional conservative, or if you have a daughter. You won’t like some of what you see down here in terms of the younger kids.
Economically and infrastructurally, Colombia is second world, about on par with Paraguay, though Bogotá is much dirtier and trashier. Lots of trash in the streets, lots of the usual graffiti all over the place, and so on. Bogotá also suffers from the same infrastructure problems as Buenos Aries. Constantly leaky buildings, including the newer, nicer ones. Really horrible traffic. Gigantic lakes in the streets whenever it rains. It didn’t seem quite as bad as Buenos Aries, since unlike the Argentineans, the Colombians are at least trying to improve (more on this in a minute).
The food here is not good. They have endless restaurants that are very, very repetitive. It seems like just about every restaurant in Bogotá sells either burgers or steak. Burgers and steak, burgers and steak, over and over again. It gets old. (Though I did have a really amazing piece of pizza here, but it was hard to find.)
The currency here is really confusing for an American, almost humorously so. Bogotá is quite cheap, so that part is great. You can get a taxi ride pretty much anywhere in the city for less than $2 USD. The problem is that $2 USD is over 6,500 Colombian pesos. That means once you get over about $30 USD, everything is measured in the hundreds of thousands of pesos. On top of that, the currency says “mil” on it, which you would think would mean “million,” but no, “mil” is short for… get this… thousands. So a bill that says “30 mil” means 30,000 pesos, not 30 million pesos.
And on top of all that, like many countries, Colombia places the period where we Americans place the comma. So in Colombia, you’ll see 30.500 which as an American you’ll assume is 30.5, but it’s actually 30,500.
All of this oddness created some very funny snafus for me until I got the hang of it. I’m sure if you lived here this would become second nature to you very quickly, but for visiting Americans, it’s weird as hell.
The one place Colombians are not very nice is this very weird thing about how you spell “Colombia.” If you spell Colombia with a “u”, “Columbia”, these people lose their fucking shit. They get so bent out of shape and offended that it’s ridiculous. I’ve even had a few Colombians on my blogs get upset with me about this in the past.
Look Colombians, if you spelled my country name Amerika, I wouldn’t give a shit. I wouldn’t even mention it. This is because I’m outcome independent, I’m not brainwashed by cultural Societal Programming, my priority is happiness, and I don’t fucking care. My country will survive having its name misspelled by foreigners, and so will yours. These Colombians are so consumed with how you spell their country that they go a little insane about it. They even sell T-shirts here that scream “It’s COLOMBIA, not COLUMBIA!” Silly.
One of the great things about Bogotá is that it’s the only city on this entire Latin America trip that isn’t humid! Awesome! Thank the gods! Finally, a place with normal weather! For the first time in almost a month, I don’t feel sticky and disgusting by 2pm (other than the horrible air, that is). What a relief! My understanding is this lack of humidity is because of the high elevation here, but I could be wrong, and perhaps Bogotá is humid at other times of the year and I got lucky with the timing of my visit, but not once was there any detectable humidity during my stay. Awesome.
The summary statement for Colombia is that they’re trying. Yeah, their infrastructure kinda sucks, but you can tell they’re trying. Yep, they’ve had real crime problems in the past, but you can tell they’re trying to resolve that. Yes, you can barely breathe in Bogotá, but I have a feeling that ten years from now the air quality will be much better, because it looks like they’re trying.
Unlike places like Buenos Aires or Mexico City, where they clearly don’t give a shit about their problems, or Panama, which has already arrived into the first world, or Paraguay which is too small and remote to really want to change anything, being in Colombia, you get the distinct feelings that the Colombians, despite their current flaws, are really motivated to make their country a better place.
That spells good prospects for their future. I guess I will invest in this country after all.
Well, that’s it for my wonderful visit to the Latin world! I had a fantastic time and got a lot of progress done on my five flags plan! This trip has been an absolute win for me in every way.
I will be back in my two favorite Latin places, Panama and Paraguay, in just a few months! Can’t wait!
Now wait a sec. Two quick things before I go…
Ranking All The Country’s Women
Some of you have asked me to rank all the women from all the countries I’ve visited on this trip. Here are my final rankings in order of hotness:
1. Colombia (amazing bodies, mostly hot faces)
2. Paraguay (amazing bodies, cute faces)
3. Panama (sexy, classy women, almost tied with Paraguay)
(a very big space)
4. Argentina (average bodies, average faces, but no one is overweight)
5. Uruguay (problematic to average bodies, average faces)
(another big space)
6. Mexico (problematic bodies, low-average faces)
Now Listen, You Pussies!
I just spent nearly an entire month in the Latin world, including places pussy Westerners think are “dangerous” like Mexico and Colombia. I walked around cities in these regions for countless hours on end, weeks on end, all by my white-boy self, including late at night, and including the “bad” and poorer barrios.
I did not get murdered.
I did not get shot.
I did not get kidnapped.
I did not get raped.
I did not get robbed.
I did not get ripped off.
I did not get mugged.
I didn’t get any of my organs harvested.
Literally nothing bad happened to me, with anyone. No one even yelled at me or accosted me in any way, except for a few homeless people who asked me for money, which happens in cities in the Collapsing USA all the damn time.
STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND THINKING THE WHOLE WORLD IS OUT TO GET YOU. IT’S NOT.
Be smart, be prepared, don’t be stupid, but don’t be scared. The world is your oyster. Take it. Experience it. It’s awesome. Don’t be a puss.
Where am I going to next?
Its a trick quesiton. The answer will surprise you. It’s a very big announcement, coming late next week.