Regular readers know that I advocate a very specific and proven dating system that involves one very fast, inexpensive 60 minute first date, followed up by a second date at your place where you have sex. Both dates combined should only take a grand total of 3-4 hours of face time (or much less) once you get the hang of it. I describe how to execute this system in detail in my primary dating manual as well as in my other books.
I also say that sometimes having sex on the second date simply isn’t an option for any one of various reasons. Maybe she’s nervous. Maybe she has higher ASD. Maybe you can’t arrange those logistics because of her scheduling limitations. Whatever.
Under my system, having sex on the third date will happen sometimes. The key word there is sometimes. If you’re having sex on date three all the time, that means you either A) are not doing this correctly and need to improve, B) you live in a more traditional part of the world (and should therefore move the fuck out of there ASAP, you idiot) or C) you’re exclusively dating women over the age of 33.
Again, I understand that sometimes this can’t be helped and I myself have sometimes had to (unfortunately) wait until date three to get all the way to sex. It’s not the norm for me, but it has happened.
This begs the question about what you’re supposed to do if you try to have sex on date three and it still doesn’t happen. What then? Should you go for date four? Should you drop her and move on?
If you’re a beta or a right-wing male provider hunter screening for a magical unicorn woman who doesn’t exist, then as always, feel free to ignore all of my dating advice and keep going on four, five, six, or more dinner dates like an eager little puppy hoping that Ms. Not Like The Rest™ will someday award your obedience with her magical pussy.
But if you’re an Alpha Male 2.0 (or aspire to be) and want to get to the sex as fast as possible with minimal hassle, time, and expense, here’s how you handle this.
“Continue to date number four or next her ass” is not the question you should be asking, since it’s an oversimplification. The decision on whether or not to see her again past date three with zero sex depends entirely on her sexual behavior during dates two and three.
I will only continue to see a woman past date three with no sex if there is clear sexual progression between dates. This means that on every date, she gets more sexual with me than she did on the last date. If that’s the case, I will continue to see her past date three. If that’s not the case, I will (nicely) drop her and move on to less uptight women.
Here are some examples to illustrate what I mean.
Example – Girl A
First date: Nothing sexual happens, not even kissing, per my advice. Just a strong, sexual, outcome independent frame sprinkled with some sex talk and kino if I can include that as well.
Second date: She comes over to my place, we make out like crazy on the couch, she lets me feel her boobs and things like that but doesn’t allow any clothing to come off. This is not ideal, but it’s acceptable under my system, so I continue to the third date.
Third date: She comes over to my place, make out, her shirt comes off, she gives me a BJ, but no sex.
Do I continue to a fourth date with her? Yes. She’s not moving as fast as I want, but she’s clearly progressing in a positive direction, so I will give her the benefit of the doubt and see her again (assuming she’s been pleasant about everything else). On date four, I will expect even more sexual things to occur than on date three, ideally full-on sex.
Example – Girl B
First date: Standard first date as described above.
Second date: Again as described above. She comes over to my place, we have some fun, but she doesn’t allow any clothing to come off.
Third date: Essentially a repeat of the second date. We make out and I feel her body, but she adamantly refuses to allow any clothing to come off, using all the usual ASD excuses.
Do I continue to a fourth date with her? No. Next! I forget about her and proceed to other, less sexually uptight women. I am clearly not a match for her and she needs to find a man more sexually compatible with her.
Example – Girl C
First date: Standard first date as described above.
Second date: She refuses to come over to my place, saying it’s “too soon” or “not appropriate.” No problem, I meet up with her at another bar and essentially have a repeat of the first date. Only this time, we make out a little bit, but I can’t get any further.
Third date: She reluctantly comes over to my place. We make out but that’s it. She won’t go any further than that.
Do I continue to a fourth date with her? No. Next! This woman’s ASD is way too high and she is clearly not looking for enjoyable sex. Either she’s a hardcore provider hunter looking for her next beta male boyfriend/husband, or she’s over the age of 33, or something strange is going on (she possibly has a boyfriend, or she’s getting over some kind of past trauma, etc). Regardless of the reason she is so reluctant to have sex with a man wearing a condom like a normal human, this is not the kind of woman I want to have in a long-term nonmonogamous relationship in my life, nor am I going to waste my time when there are so many women of equivalent or superior quality who have no problems having sex with me on date two. Next!
I will say again that likely this woman would not be happy with me either, so I’m helping her by moving on. Seriously, a woman who is on the hunt for a beta male boyfriend and wants absolutely nothing else will be hugely irritated with my lifestyle if we did have sex and I tried to get her into an FB or MLTR relationship. So by nicely nexting these women, you’re not being an asshole; you’re actually helping her by not wasting her time. And you don’t waste your time. It’s win/win.
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