There’s is a common argument these days that says, in terms of women having sex with men, all sex is transactional.
The argument goes something like this. A woman will only have sex with you if she’s getting something she wants from you beyond the sex. An easy example is that she’s only having sex with you because she’s financially benefiting in some way. However, this argument states this also means that even if a woman isn’t getting literal money, gifts, or protection for the sex she’s giving you, she’s still only having sex with you for some other non-sexual reason, even if that reason is intangible, such as emotional validation, social validation, revenge on someone else, or so on.
Is the argument factually accurate? Is all sex transactional?
As always, I answer these questions with facts and objectivity rather than my opinions, biases, or emotions.
Based on facts and objectivity, the answer is no, it’s not factually accurate…
But it’s very close to being true…
But it’s not close for the reasons the men who make this argument think.
I shall explain.
Most Sex Is Transactional – Not “All,” but Most
If you just change the word “all” to “most” in the argument, it then becomes correct. Most sex that occurs in the world is indeed transactional. Why?
This is because most men are beta males, and beta males pretty much only have sex under transactional conditions. If you take the entire planet, add up all the beta males, traditionally married monogamous guys, and guys with traditional girlfriends, that equates to most of the sex occurring. And yes, most of those men are engaging in transactional sex.
Most traditionally married men are making more money than their wives and are paying at least a strong percentage of their wives’ living expenses. Not all of them, but most of them. We know from the data I’ve been quoting on this blog for many years that if these men stopped doing this, most of these wives would divorce these suckers and go find some other man to help them pay for their bills (and kids, if they have them). So yes, the sex these men have is indeed transactional, at least to some degree.
The same goes for most guys with traditional girlfriends; they give these women more money (directly or indirectly) than the women give them, plus social validation, and most of these women would probably dump these beta bastards if they did not do this. So, that’s also transactional sex. Again, not all BF/GF couples are like this, but most are.
Those categories do indeed encapsulate most sex occurring on the planet at any given time.
But not all of it.
This is because the men who say “all sex is transactional” ignore one inconvenient fact: women like to fuck. A lot. Some women are sex-positive, in that they like to have sex with a man they find attractive just because of the sex and for no other reason. I have had numerous FBs who simply came over to my house, fucked me with little to no conversation, and then left. They received no emotional validation, no real attention (since there was little or no conversation), no social validation, no money, no companionship, no support, no nothing. Just sex and an orgasm. That’s it. They just needed to fuck.
Granted, most of my FBs have not been like this. Most of them do indeed want to sit and talk for a little bit and get some kind of emotional validation and/or non-sexual attention from me before having sex. In those cases, you could argue that the sex was “transactional” in that they gave me sex and I, in addition to pleasurable sex, gave them some degree of validation / attention. But my point is many FBs were not like this. They just wanted to get pounded, cum, towel off, and get the hell out of there, just like a man would. They had sex just for the sex and no other reason. The sex was not transactional.
I am not the only man who will tell you this; many other men on this blog (and others) who have experienced the same thing. There are indeed a percentage of women who just need to get laid because they love sex, and they don’t need anything else.
The counter-argument to this is that yes, there are these women, but these sexual women will still take money, attention, validation, and protection if a man offers it, thus making the sex transactional again.
I’m glad you brought that up, since it leads right into my next argument.
Most guys who say that “all sex is transactional” imply that this is because women are all selfish, blood-sucking bitches, in addition to possibly being gold-digging whores, and all men are just innocent victims in this system who are forced to go along with it if they want any sex.
I’m sorry, but this is factually inaccurate. The reason that much sex is transactional is because of MEN.
The problem is those damn beta males again. Remember that based on my estimates, 70% of men in the Western world are betas. This number is even higher in Asia. This number is a little lower in places like Russia and South America, but it is still the majority at well past 50%. Most men are betas.
When a beta wants to get laid, what does he do? You know exactly what he does. He looks at a cute girl and thinks, “I want to fuck her. Crap, that means I have to buy her dinner three or four times. Fuck. Oh well, better pick out that restaurant then…”
He does that, and even a horny, sex-positive woman who would have fucked him without the damn dinners now says, “Oh cool! I get sex and attention and free food! Great! I’ll take it!” That’s his fault, not hers. If the guy had just followed my system (and only 10% of men ever will, at best) he could have had non-transactional sex with her without the time, dinners, and financial expense, and the hardcore transactional women would have screened themselves out.
As is so often the case, men are not the innocent victims a lot of MRA / manosphere types profess them to be. If men just stopped being betas and stopped creating transactional environments for sex that don’t need to occur in the first place, you’d have lot less transactional sex going on.
Levels of Transactionality
This leads to one final point that could be brought up, and that is that sometimes there are gray areas in regards to the amount of transactionality going on.
Imagine a vertical transactionality scale going from top to bottom. At the very top of this scale are provider hunters and hookers. These are the hardcore transactional women. They will only fuck you if you give them a very specific, tangible, pre-defined result that has nothing to do with the sex. In the case of hookers, this means money. In the case of provider hunters, this means money, long-term support, and obedience to the feminine Disney agenda. If you don’t offer these things to them right up front, they’ll drop you like a hot potato and move on to the next customer/victim.
About halfway down the scale, sort of in the middle, you’ve got women in MLTRs and OLTRs. These women will (usually) have sex with you without any sort of quid pro quo. They will also continue to have sex with you without any strong desire for your money (since she knows from day one she’s not getting any) or your obedience (since she lets you fuck other women and engage in other things the provider hunter or Dominant would never allow). But, because of Societal Programming, if she keeps having sex with you, she will want some other things beyond the sex, such as attention and emotional validation (in the case of an MLTR) and/or a relationship that looks at least somewhat acceptable to society (in the case of an OLTR). If she doesn’t get these things, she will indeed eventually leave you for someone else (LSNFTE), though it might be several years before she does so. (And if you do all of this right, there’s a 94% chance she’ll eventually come back too.)
So in that case, she’s somewhat transactional.
A little below that on the scale are those FBs who like to talk for a little bit before or after sex. All they need, outside of sex, is a little friendship. But that’s it. They’re barely transactional.
At the very bottom of the scale are those oh-so-wonderful sex-positive women who want to fuck you just because they need the sex. They aren’t transactional at all. Granted, this is a smaller percentage of women, but there are plenty of them out there (I’ve had sex with many of them).
So that’s it. Not all sex is transactional, but most is, and much of this is the fault of men.
If you want to design your own low-work, high-income, location-independent business, I’ll be doing a seminar on exactly how to do that in Las Vegas in July. Click here for info.