Today’s article is aimed towards you guys who are more woman experienced; those of you who have already dated and/or slept with a sizeable number of women in your life, and those men who can get new women relatively easily. Those of you still at the beginner and intermediate levels can still read this article and keep what I say in mind as you get better with women, because if/when you do, you will face this issue as well.
Your dick is important. You need to keep the little guy happy. If you don’t keep him happy by not having enough sex, or only having sex with average or ugly women, you will damage your long-term happiness as a man, as well as cause some very real health problems for yourself. Men who devalue or denigrate the importance of sex are factually and objectively wrong, as I’ve empirically shown on this blog many times.
When your dick has little to no power, it sucks. You don’t get laid. When you do get laid, you often get oneitis. Indeed, this is why beta males get oneitis. It’s exciting to have sex with a pretty girl, or a girl who’s great in bed, when it doesn’t happen to you very often. So, you get oneitis. (Alpha Male 1.0’s get oneitis too, but for different reasons.)
So you need to give your dick power by A) gaining the ability to have regular sex with women you find at least cute and B) mastering the skills necessary to bring new cute/hot women into your sex life as quickly and easily as possible.
The problem comes when you reach that level.
After years of working hard on your physical appearance, confidence, outcome independence, dating skills, seduction skills, and possibly relationship management skills, you reach that point so few men ever reach, of being able to get laid, and with cute/hot girls, whenever you want. Now your dick has power. Which is good.
The problem is when he starts taking over.
A very common problem with men at the advanced level of dating skill is that you start thinking with your dick rather than with your heart or your brain. You start having sex with cute/hot girls not because you need to have sex, or because you need to have more sex, but because you can. Now you’re just in the “habit” of doing so. You’ve essentially put your sex life on autopilot and put your dick in control. You want your dick to be happy, but you don’t want him calling the shots. He’s way too stupid.
I myself have run into this problem in the last few years, and fortunately I caught myself pretty quickly whenever it started to become a pattern of behavior. You need to do the same.
There are five symptoms that you will experience when this happens. You need to be constantly aware of these. If you start doing them, that means your dick is in control. Slap yourself in the face (maybe slap him once or twice too) and re-assert control. Here are the symptoms, listed in no particular order.
1. Having sex with women that you’re not necessarily attracted to, but just to get the “lay” or the “win.”
This is when a sexually experienced guy lets his inner Thrill of the Hunt man take over. Even Pleasure of Sex men do this sometimes when they reach an advanced level of game. It’s when you already are having sex with plenty of super attractive women, but when you encounter an average looking woman who is a convenient target, you fuck her too, because, well, why not? I’m a badass and I can seduce anyone I want. Who cares if she’s not nearly as attractive as the women I’m currently having sex with? If I fuck her, that’s just one more conquest I can beat my chest about.
This is bad news. You should only go down in quality when you have a very specific, rational reason to do so (and I can’t even think of any at the moment), not because you need another notch count. How stupid.
2. Having sex with women that you’re not necessarily attracted to, but because they’re there.
I have been guilty of this. This is when you’re on a first date or some kind of first meet with a new woman and she’s moderately cute to you, but if you walked past her on the street, you wouldn’t have given her a second look.
But, since your dick is in control, you think, “Well, she’s cute, and hey, I’m here on this date already, so I might as well fuck her. Why not?” Sometimes your dick can get a little smart, and attempt to use magical dick-logic on you, like “Hey, if I don’t fuck her, the time you spend on this date/meet would have been wasted! You don’t want to waste your time, DO YOU???”
So you have sex with her, and after you’re done, your dick has gone back to sleep, and you’re back in control, you think, “Why the hell did I do that? I didn’t need to do that. I have better things to do. Huh.”
You should only have sex with a woman because A) you find her attractive and B) you need to have sex with someone new because you’re not currently getting enough sex. If either of those things are not true, then you probably shouldn’t waste your time having sex with her. Just because she’s cute and available and you have the ability to have sex with her doesn’t mean you should. You should have more reasons for sex than that, at least in my view.
3. Wanting new women when you already have plenty and don’t need any more.
This is when you already have several cute/hot girls on rotation, you’re getting all the sex you want, but for some damn reason, on certain evenings you find yourself headed out to the bars or clubs looking for new chicks anyway. Or during the day, you find yourself perusing the dating sites looking for hotties.
Why are you doing this? You don’t need to do this! Now if you’re not getting laid nearly as much as you need or if the women you’re having sex with are not ones you find attractive, then yes, you need to do this and get it done. But once it’s done, you’re done. Stop focusing on getting new women when you already have ones you like.
If you ever find yourself doing this, your dick is in control. Tell him to shut the fuck up, wait until tonight when you have sex with your super hot FB, then re-take control from him and get back to work.
The entire point of getting women on rotation is so you don’t need to spend any more time in your woman life and can now devote your time to your happiness, goals, and Mission.
If you’re a hardcore Thrill of the Hunt guy, are completely self aware about it, and choose to constantly bang new women forever, then I guess go ahead (and I’m glad I’m not you). But if you’re normal, you have better things to do than to constantly seek out new women to have sex with when your active roster is already full. Stop it with that shit and get back to the other areas of your life that need addressing, of which I’m sure there are many.
4. Keep going out and sarging for new women when you don’t need them.
This is the same thing as number three except that you actually act on it. You’ve got plenty of women in your life, they’re all cute/hot to you, and you’re getting plenty of sex, but your dick is so out of control he wants MORE.
Again, tell him to shut the fuck up, enjoy the hotties you already have in your life, and get back to work on something more productive.
5. Saying yes to women who come back into your sex life when you don’t need them.
I’ve definitely been guilty of this one. This is when you’re a solid Alpha Male 2.0 and have plenty of women on rotation, as well as a decent roster of ex-FB’s and ex-MLTR’s who have LSNFTE’d you in the past. Then, one day, one of your ex’s hits you up out of the blue and asks you how it’s going, which of course is woman language for “I just dumped my boyfriend so I need you to fuck me again please.”
You’ve got plenty of cute/hot women already and you’re getting laid left and right. You don’t need her. But since your dick is in control, you’re all like, HELLS YEAH!!! Then you try to figure out where in the holy hell you’re going to schedule her in. And eventually you do, upsetting all the other projects (and perhaps women) in your life just because you wanted to squeeze in yet another woman because she was “there.”
As I’ve explained before, you need to know what your sexual minimums are, both in frequency of sex and number of women. Then hit those numbers. Then, once you hit those numbers, stick with them. If women next you, or LSNFTE you, or they become problematic or unreliable and you have to next them, then go get more women to replace them. But once you’re at your minimums, don’t keep adding to them. You’ve got more important things to do.
Your dick doesn’t care about your financial life, your fitness, your investments, or your spirituality, but you should.
Stop thinking with your dick. He’s important, and he needs to be kept happy, but once he’s happy, he needs to shut the fuck up and you need to call the shots, not him.