This is the ninth installment of the book that I never published regarding my history with women and the lessons I learned from it. If you haven’t yet, you should read parts one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight before you read the article below, so you can be up to speed on where the story picks up. Everything below is all 100% true to the best of my memory, journals, and spreadsheet records, though all the names of the people described have been changed.
We last left off in the spring of 2008, having just recently discovered pick-up artist (PUA) material. I was now determined to integrate what I learned to improve my results…
circa May 2008
After devouring PUA resources like The Game, David DeAnglo’s newsletters, Gunwitch Method, Mystery Method, and a few other pick-up artist systems, I finally found myself being a lurker on a PUA forum called Fast Seduction. As usual, most of what I read was niched towards guys in their twenties who liked to stay up late at clubs and try to score at 2am with women who had been drinking. Nothing wrong with that, but as a 36 year-old business owner and father of two, this kind of thing (which later I learned was called night game) was not compatible with my lifestyle at all.
The vast majority of PUA content back then was indeed about night game and not much else. A few guys were talking about daygame, and almost no one was talking about online dating, which was my focus.
I got discouraged pretty quickly, and started thinking about leaving the forum. But then one day, while reading through the list of acronyms and PUA terms, I saw something called “MLTR.” The definition described dating multiple women at the same time, as in actually having sex with them, without lying to any of them, and doing so over a prolonged period of time.
I stood staring at the screen as my eyes bugged out of my skull. Holy shit! This is exactly what I’ve always wanted!
I could hardly believe it. The bad news was that very few guys were actually talking about how to have MLTR’s (again, they were mostly younger guys focused on night game), but the fact there was actually a term for something I desperately wanted got me very excited. I instantly decided to set up an account on the forum and start posting questions. When it asked me for a cool sounding PUA username, I drew a blank. I had no fucking idea and didn’t really care. I planned on just posting a few questions, having a few discussions, then deleting my account in a few months and moving on.
So, just off the top of my head, I thought of my favorite Dungeons and Dragons monster, the black dragon (because I’m a huge nerd, and that’s just how my brain works), and put down “Blackdragon” with no spaces to make it look a little different. “Black dragon” also happened to be the opposite of “white knight,” which I felt was poetic. Slapped a picture of a black dragon as an avatar, and I started posting.
I mostly started asking questions about how to get laid faster, since I was getting lots of dates from online dating, but my meet-to-sex times were still very long. I was shocked to find out that I was already getting more dates from many, perhaps most of the guys who were regularly posting on the forums. There were several hardcore PUA gurus on the forums who were getting laid left and right, far more than I was, but these guys were the exception rather than the rule. As clumsy and poor as my dating systems were at that time, most guys on the forums were getting far less sex than I already was.
So in addition to asking questions to the guys who were getting laid more than me, I started giving a little advice to the guys who were struggling. I also tried to spark up some conversations about nonmonogamous relationships, but most guys were talking about relationships that were monogamous, which was both surprising and disappointing to me. Why the fuck would pick-up artists be pursuing monogamy, of all things? What the hell? It made no sense to me at the time. (Though I fully understand now; Alpha Male 1.0’s worship monogamy just as much as betas do, just a slightly different flavor. Also, a lot of the PUA’s actually were betas, Neil Strauss being the ultimate example.)
Regardless, once I started integrating things from other guys in the PUA community into my own system, things really started to click for me. My ratio of dates that resulted in sex went up. My dating costs went down. My average times from first meeting a woman to actually having sex with her went down.
Not everything the PUA’s recommended worked. Some of it bombed badly, but a lot of it did work, and everything improved by leaps and bounds. As I’ve described before, many pick-up techniques do work and will improve your results, all other factors remaining equal. I’m living proof of that. The difference in results in 2008 from what I was doing in 2007 with no PUA techniques at all were starkly clear.
As I started to get more successful, I started posting “lay reports” on the forums, describing exactly what I did and how things ended up, usually including long copy-and-pasted transcripts of my dating site messaging and text conversations. These became very popular very fast, not only because of my fun writing style, but because I was the only one on the forums getting laid this regularly from online dating instead of night game or daygame. Back in 2008, “online game” was still a new and very controversial thing. Many of the night game PUA’s, mostly Thrill of the Hunt guys, actually became upset that I was getting the results from such a “bullshit system” that was “for AFC’s” which “wasn’t real game” and “didn’t count.”
One of the biggest victories around this time was a super hot blonde 28 year-old who looked like Cameron Diaz. Within just a few hours of face time, she gave me a blowjob in her car, and then we had sex at my place on the very next meet.
This was quickly followed up with a cute half-Japanese 26 year-old who I had sex with on the second date.
And this was followed up by the near-perfect looking stripper with gigantic fake boobs, which I sucked on the second date and who I had sex with on the third.
The hits just kept on coming. My nonmonogamous relationship management skills were still reasonably weak, so I couldn’t keep any of these girls around for very long, but for the first time, I was reliably getting laid, doing it very fast, doing it for very little money spent, and the women were hot. Finally, after a year of intense effort, I had a system, clumsy as it was, that was at least working in terms of getting to sex with new women.
Things were not perfect though. I still had plenty of fuck-ups and misfires. It was during this time that I ran into the woman who bitched at me that I let her pay for her drinks when she offered to pay, as well as the woman who yelled at me in the coffee shop when I wouldn’t let her pay for her coffee. Both of these women I described in Get To Sex Fast.
I also had several streaks where I would go on ten first dates with no sex. Ugh. Brutal. The problem, I would later discover, was because a significant percentage of these women were over the Age of Doom, age 33, when ASD spikes. All the women I was having sex quickly with were under age 33, and all the women over 33 gave me a bunch of ASD excuses. However, I hadn’t yet figured this out. So I kept wasting my time going on numerous first dates with over 33 women and constantly getting confused as to why none of the techniques worked on them when it worked fine on women below that age.
If you’re using “dating game” where a first date/meet is required, meaning online dating or day2 daygame, you will not have sex with a woman quickly if she’s over the age of 33, unless she is a very rare exception to the rule. If fast, inexpensive sex is a priority to you, only stick with women under the age of 33. The difference is night and day.
Even the under-33’s gave me stupid ASD sometimes. Another woman around this time was Tina. A cute redhead, 28 years old, amazing body, recently broken up with her boyfriend, and single mother. On our first date, while walking down the street after talking at a bar, we made out, and I squeezed her amazing ass.
With all the PUA techniques in my head, I was totally focused on making out with girls. But this was night game advice, not advice geared for online first dates. I had not yet figured out that kissing a girl on a first date actually reduces the odds of ever getting to sex with her (unless it’s obvious you’re going to have sex right then and there on the first date, which is rare).
Unless you are 100% sure you’re about to have sex right then and there on the first date, never, ever, EVER kiss a woman on a first date. This spikes ASD, spikes buyer’s remorse, and kills tension, all of which drive your odds down for future sex with her. Talk about sex, kino, make the first date very short, but don’t kiss until you’re isolated with her on the second date.
As fun as she was, the subsequent date with Tina was weird. She wanted me to drive way out of my way to a remote location. I stupidly agreed and did so. On our second date, we were (once again) going for a late-night walk, and I pulled her to me to kiss her. Then she did a very strange thing. She pushed me away and said she couldn’t kiss me. When I asked her why, she said, “Well, I don’t kiss boys on the first date. It’s one of my rules. But I kissed you on the first date. So to make up for that, I can’t kiss you tonight. At all.” (I mentioned her in The Unchained Man.)
I suddenly had a flashback about Melody from the year prior, giving me her “rules” about which of her two boobs I was allowed to suck. Yet again, I ran into more of women’s silly, irrational ASD-born dating “rules.” Kill me. Listening to Tina’s rampant irrationality and woman logic actually caused me physical pain.
Long story short, nothing ever happened between Tina and me. We went on a grand total of two dates, and when I texted her to hang out again, I got a text saying “I’m off the market. I’ve gotten back together with my boyfriend.”
Ah, that explained a lot. I never forgot Tina and what she did.
There’s a lot of talk about women who say they “have a boyfriend” when they really don’t. However, the reverse is also true very often, particularly with online dating. Not all women who say they’re single actually are. Many of them are just temporarily angry at their boyfriend, whom they’ll go back to soon. Sometimes women will use you strictly as a placeholder and/or source of attention during a brief, temporary “break-up” with their boyfriend, then dump your ass as soon as they decide they like him again. Watch out.
By the late summer of 2008, I ended what I consider to be the beginner phase of my dating and relationship skills with women. Now, it was time to enter my intermediate phase, where I started successfully dating much younger women, and started mastering the art of having long-term FB’s and MLTR’s…
Part ten coming soon…