We’ve talked a lot about how older men can date younger women, so it’s only fair to address the reverse, which I do indeed get asked about regularly; how do younger guys score with older cougars?
No problem, I’m here to help. I happen to be an expert on this. In my 20’s, I dated nothing but much older women and was reasonably successful at it, at least for the clueless beta I was back then. Both the woman I lost my virginity to and the woman I married back then were older women, plus a few I dated in-between (as I’ve talked about in My History With Women Series), so I can speak with some authority on this. In addition, I have observed many, many older women get into FB relationships with much younger men. So let’s do this.
I have talked in great detail on this blog and in my books regarding the difficulties of getting to sex quickly with women over the age of 33. At or around age 33, a woman’s ASD spikes upward, and now sex outside of a relationship or clearly leading to a relationship makes her extremely uncomfortable… with one or two exceptions.
Foremost of those exceptions is the decently attractive younger man (as well under age 30) who clearly has zero provider potential. In other words, the 40 year-old man trying to have sex with the 37 year-old woman on the second date is going to get a self-righteous, huffy and puffy lecture about “how to treat a lady” and how she’s “not a whore” and how it’s “too soon,” but the next day, she’ll happily fuck the 23 year-old pool boy or the cute college student who works in the mail room, neither of whom has ever taken her out on a date or has spent even one penny on her.
If you call her out on this blatant unfairness, her answer will be that since she wasn’t “dating” that younger guy, it was okay to have sex with him fast. But this is woman language and is thus, incorrect. The English translation is this:
“Because my ASD, Societal Programming, and Provider Hunter desires are all so high, I can’t have sex with a man unless he’s my boyfriend or is trying to be my boyfriend by taking me out on dates, and a man can’t be my boyfriend (or try to be one) if he isn’t a good provider. This means he makes a decent amount of money, is decently responsible, is reasonably intelligent, is at least my age or older, and treats me like “a lady.” But! A man who is cute, very young, dumb, and clearly has no money can’t ever be my boyfriend, so he doesn’t fall into any of those categories. Therefore, it is okay not only for me to fuck him, but fuck him very quickly and as much as I want with no other expectations from him. It’s a loophole in my system. Sorry. That’s just the way it is.”
So there you have it. So you’ll have to exploit her loophole in order to get into her hole. You do that by becoming the man she just described: cute, young, dumb, and who clearly doesn’t have any money. If you’re a younger guy and want to get to sex fast with women over 30, you need to be that guy, or at least act like him.
I can’t do this. I’m in my 40’s and I’m clearly successful even if I try to hide it (women can smell it on me; they’re very good at this), so if I try to get to sex fast with many women over 33, I’m going to be successful with a few of the exceptions to the rule, but the vast majority of them are going to give me a headache while they rattle off their irrational ASD excuses as to why they can’t have sex with me “yet.”
This is why I focus on women under 33 whenever I can; not because I like them better (I love women in their 30’s and 40’s) but because the meet-to-sex times are much, much faster with younger women, and I don’t have time to fart around.
However, if you’re in your 20’s, this may not apply to you, and you may be able to score with these cougars very fast. Here’s how:
1. Play up the “young dumb guy” aspect. Look young. Act young. Act naïve. Way back when I was younger and dating older women, I found that I was actually more successful with them when I clearly showed how naïve I was and how inexperienced I was. Cougars are predisposed to like younger men, so the more you act like a younger man, the more successful you’ll be.
A lot of younger guys try to act older when approaching older women; this is a mistake. Act young. Hell, act younger than you are. Obviously you can’t take this too far and act retarded, but you know what I mean.
2. Don’t dress nice. Look like you have no money. Don’t dress up in nice shirts, slacks, suits, or whatever. Feel free to do that with women your own age, but if you’re a younger guy going after older women, this is a mistake. Just dress in jeans, a decent T-shirt, normal shoes, and a normal coat. Again, look the part. Even if you make $80,000 a year, look like you make about $20,000 or less. Or even better, that you’re unemployed. I’m not making a joke here; I’m very serious.
This is a careful dance because you have to dress down, but you can’t look shitty. If you look downright crappy, then older women will avoid you. Just dress “normal” (not nice, but normal) but make sure you’re clean.
3. Wear good cologne. Older women love cologne in ways younger women don’t even notice. Don’t ask me why. They just do.
4. Don’t try to act cool. Dial down the player shit. Read this article here and pay very close attention to it. Generally speaking (and yes, there are exceptions to this), older women attracted to much younger men generally do not want some kind of cool, badass, confident player/Alpha. Instead, they want the nice, clean-cut, hardworking boy next door who is home doing his homework while the Alphas are out getting drunk. Over-33 women, cougars included, tend to be Dominants, and Dominants don’t like confident Alpha Males (those women are offended by these kinds of men). Opposites attract.
Listen to what I’m saying though: I’m not saying they want a beta or an introverted nerd either. No, no, no. That won’t get you laid either. The frame you should have is that of a high-end beta male on this chart. Not a nerd, but not a cool guy either. Just a nice, cute, boy next door. That will cast the widest net and has the highest odds of success with the most amount of cougars.
5. Be nice. Don’t over-game Cougars and don’t try to be a badass. Be nice. Don’t be a pussy, but be nice. Again, err on the side of beta rather than Alpha without going too far into beta-nerd zone. This is one of the very rare times when being a little beta can actually help you get laid. A good-looking younger guy who clearly has no money, dresses like it, who is fun to talk to, and doesn’t come off like a player douchebag will absolutely clean up with cougars.
How and where do you meet cougars if you’re a younger guy? The best answer, by far, is social circle game. Get out into the world and get involved in activities where women in their 30’s and 40’s congregate. Make lots of friends and meet friends of friends. Meet your parent’s friends (yes, I’m serious). Use Meetup.com if you have to.
Online dating can work, but it’s honestly not the best way to go for this kind of thing. Daygame or night game would be better (though I know nothing about night game), but seriously, if you really want to make this work, you need to get very good at social circle game. If you follow all the above advice, you won’t have to meet too many Cougars to be successful at this.
Lastly, since I know I’m going to get questions about this, what about you guys in your early 30’s who look like you’re in your 20’s? It’s much less likely to work even if you look young, unless you lie. I don’t lie to women, so that’s a decision you need to make on your own. Younger guy game is really a playground for men in their 20’s. Once you’re over 30 and certainly over 35, you’re in a different world (Don’t worry, you can always go the other direction and do sugar daddy game or younger woman game if you want. Hey, if it’s “sexually liberating” for women to have sex with younger guys, it’s the same for us when we have sex with younger women, right? Fair is fair, ladies.)