The word “date” is a tricky one, since it applies to a wide range of activities, vibes, and implications. The word “date” can mean everything from a quick one-hour meet at Starbucks where you order nothing and just talk, to going rock climbing at the local gym for two hours, to an extravagant evening with a fancy dinner, then a movie or a play, then drinks at home, then sex all night. The inadequate English language calls all three of these things “dates,” yet they are not even close to being the same thing. All three of those things signal very different things to the woman you’re with.
This is why, as you may have already noticed in my writing, I tend to break down the word “date” into three categories: dates, dinner dates, and event dates.
An example of a date is when you’re following my dating system and you meet up with a woman you met on Bumble at a local Starbucks, talk for an hour, and get the hell out of there.
An example of a dinner date is exactly that, when you take a woman out to dinner at a midrange-level restaurant (not a super fancy one, just a normal one), and that’s all you do while you’re out; just dinner, followed by perhaps going to one of your homes afterward for sex.
An event date is when you do something with a woman that is:
1. Not at either of your homes.
2. Something beyond just going out to dinner or talking at a bar or a coffee shop; it’s something more; it’s an event.
3. Something that is not sexual in nature.
Some examples of event dates are:
- Going rock climbing together at the local gym
- Going to sing karaoke at a local bar (Just getting a drink or two at a bar is not an event date; getting up in front of people and singing is, particularity if that is your intention before you leave the house)
- Going on a hike (Going for a quick walk on the beach or at a local park is not an event date, but actually going hiking is)
- Going bowling, playing pool, going golfing, or any other fun sport-like activity
- Going to a theme park or carnival
- Having a picnic
- Going to see a movie at a movie theater (or a play)
- Going to a museum or art gallery
You can see what all these have in common; they are going “out,” take a long time, are far beyond just getting dinner or drinks, and are completely nonsexual in nature.
Once you’re in an ongoing relationship with a woman where you’re hanging out and having sex regularly, if she’s a MLTR or above, you are more than welcome to go on event dates that if that’s something you both enjoy. No problem at all.
The problem is doing event dates with women you have not had sex with twice yet. Consider this an iron rule:
Never, ever take a woman on an event date until after you’ve had sex with her twice.
Very often, gold diggers, provider hunters, and women over age 33 will strongly suggest an event date for a first or second date. Societal Programming also strongly reinforces event dates as a first/second date option. Just Google around and you’ll see literally thousands of websites titled things like “7 Reasons Why Going Rock Climbing Is A Great First Date.”
If your goal is to get to sex as fast and as cheaply as possible, you must never, ever go on an event date with any woman until you’ve had sex with her twice. This is because going on an event date for a first or second date will actually drive down the odds of her have sex with you not only quickly, but ever.
The reason is it provides the entire wrong frame. I’ve talked about how your frame should be 85% player, 15% provider. An event date screams beta male provider. In terms of women’s three buttons, going on an event date pre-sex will place you in the category of Make Him Wait. Because of your provider, beta male, I-would-make-a-great-monogamous-husband-or-boyfriend frame, she’s going to make you wait for sex even if she was otherwise attracted to you.
As always, the more a woman makes you wait, the lower your odds become of ever having sex with her. This is because the more time you take with her between the moment you first meet her and when you actually have sex (if you have sex, that is), the higher the odds of her finding something about you she doesn’t like, and of you doing or saying something she doesn’t like, and of another man striking her fancy before you close the deal.
If you’re a beta male (or a pro-monogamy Alpha Male 1.0) and are looking for your Unicorn Woman who doesn’t exist to be your forever monogamous wife, then feel free to ignore all of my advice and do whatever you want (and god help you). But, if your goal is to build a roster of long-term FB’s and MLTR’s by getting to sex quickly and cheaply, you can not do any event dates with new women.
I realize a lot of you already see the logic in this and are already nodding your heads. The problem is, a lot of you fuckers tend to crumble when a woman you’re trying to have sex with who is Super Hot™ or Not Like The Rest™ strongly suggests (or even demands) that you two have an event date for a first/second date. You know damn well you shouldn’t agree to it, but Damn She’s So Hot™ and She Might Get Mad At Me If I Say No Then I Won’t Be Able To Tap That Ass™. So like a pussy, you agree to it. And then, two to four dates later, having never had sex, she ghosts your ass and you never see her again, then you send me a whiny email and ask me what you did wrong (when you already know, you idiot).
Yes, some women ask for event dates. No, you can’t do them. Just say something like, “You know, on Thursday I’m going to be a little tired after work. Let’s just meet up at the XYZ Bar and have a quiet drink.” Be polite, but be strong. About 80% the time, she won’t push it and she’ll agree to it.
Yes, about 20% of the time, particularly if she’s over age 33, she’ll get a little pushy, and even offended. If this is the case, delete her number and move on. This is not a woman who is at all interested in having sex with a new man quickly. If you agree to her event date, you’ll just waste a lot of time and money and then not have sex with her, instead of cutting her loose now and saving yourself the aggravation.
Read that paragraph again because it’s important. A lot of you guys think that by giving into high-ASD demanding Dominants, you’ll get laid. No, you won’t. You’ll just waste a lot of time and cash while not having any sex. When you say no to a woman who demands an event date pre-sex, you don’t lose; you win, even if you don’t get laid (which you probably won’t at that point anyway, since as soon as a woman demands an event date pre-sex, your odds have already gone down regardless of what your response is).
Once you achieve Lock-In with a new woman by having sex with her two times on two different occasions, then event dates are okay if you deem her to be a MLTR (not a FB). If she then asks for an event date, you are free to say yes if you wish. She’s proven she likes having sex with you and will likely be around sexually for a prolonged period of time, so she’s earned the right to have event dates with you, assuming that’s something you enjoy.
By the way, the same thing could be said of dinner dates as well. It’s just that event dates are even worse. Reserve those only for women you’ve had sex with twice, and don’t give into any woman who demands otherwise.