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I get a lot of email asking me about this. Time to get your funky funk on. Though I haven’t had any threesomes recently (mostly because I’ve been there done that), and I’m not really “in” to threesomes, over the past ten years I have had threesomes with numerous women, and enjoyed them. Today, I will describe how you can put together a threesome. It’s much easier than most men think, but you must do things correctly, which most men do not.
-By Caleb Jones
I’m only going to talk about FFM threesomes today, which means one man and two women, which is where my experience lies. I’ve never done a MFM threesome, which is two guys with one woman. I’ve tried to put those together in the past (though not very hard, frankly), and I’ve found that most men are terrified of these things. This makes it difficult to put them together unless you’re already part of a sex club or polyamory community. Being massively outcome dependent, most men, Alphas and betas both, are either nervous to be naked in front of another man, view it as some kind of cuckoldry, or think it’s somehow gay. (I’m reminded of this hilarious video here.) Anyways, since I’ve only done FFM threesomes, that’s what I’m going to focus on today.First of all, having a threesome with a FB, MLTR, OLTR, or even an open-minded LTR is a process that begins at the very first moment of the first date with her. It’s not something you just think of one day and throw at her while demonstrating the completely wrong EFA.
That’s probably the number one thing that guys do wrong. They go monogamous (or close to it) with a girl they like, engage in all kinds of betaization and boyfriend behaviors, then one night, out of the blue, ask her if she would be down for a threesome with her sister.
Uh, no. That doesn’t work, as millions of idiot men can attest to.
This is why I’ve literally never had a problem putting together a threesome. My nonmonogamous, Alpha Male 2.0, 85/15 EFA is right there from the very start. Thus, when I pitch a threesome to a woman I’m seeing, it’s not weird at all. It’s perfectly in line with our entire relationship. Never once, and I mean this now, never once have I ever had a woman get upset or offended when I pitched a threesome. I also can’t even think of a time where a woman refused a threesome when I brought it up. That doesn’t mean I’ve had a threesome with every woman I’ve pitched it to; sometimes the threesomes never happen for logistical reasons or whatever. I’m just saying I can’t remember the last time a woman in my life flat-out said no to one.Remember that like with soft nexting, the techniques I’m about to show you won’t work if you’ve done everything wrong in the relationship up until now. Success with this stuff starts at the first minute of the first date, not right before you decided you want a threesome.
Alright, here we go:
1. There must always be a primary woman and a secondary woman.
The two (or more!) women you’re having sex with at the same time are not equal, and shouldn’t be. There should always be a primary woman; the woman you’re seeing, and a secondary woman; the “new” woman you’re bringing into the bed (or couch, or floor, or office, or helicopter) with the two of you.
Even if the two women are both people you’re already seeing, one still needs to feel like she’s a little more important than the other. Before the threesome ever begins, you need to be clear about which girl is the primary and which is the secondary.
If you don’t do this, then A) the threesome will be harder to put together, and B) you’re in for drama and/or hurt feelings from the woman you consider the more important one.
What if you honestly don’t give a shit about either woman? Perhaps they’re both FBs who are on the low-end of the scale. I still pick a primary, because I want my relationships to be as low-drama and long-lasting as possible.
2. Follow the correct sequence during the threesome.
If you’re at an advanced level and have already had many threesomes, then do them however you like. If you’re a complete beginner at this stuff, then the general flow of a threesome should go like this:
1. All three of you should play with each other very briefly.
2. Have sex with the secondary woman first, and get inside her as quickly as possible. Enjoy her for a while.
3. Switch to the primary woman and finish (orgasm) with her.
If you’re still raring to go after you orgasm with your primary, play with both women for a while or grab the secondary and go to town on her a second time.
This order ensures that you get to have sex with the secondary one quickly (to avoid any last minute ASD from her) and that the primary one feels more special. It’s a winning combination that eliminates a lot of problems and works every time.
3. Be aware of a woman’s internal “threesome rule.”
Women have this very bizarre rule when it comes to getting sexual with other women. It doesn’t make any sense to the masculine mind, but you must be aware of this rule and operate around it.
Here’s the rule that women have when it comes to them getting sexual with other women:
“I can get sexual with my best, closest friend(s). I can get sexual with women who are complete strangers I just met. I can’t get sexual with any other woman.”
So if you want to have a threesome, the secondary woman must be either a close, long-term girlfriend of hers, or a girl she doesn’t know at all and who she literally just met that evening. If you try to bring in any other type of woman as a secondary, your odds of a threesome happening drop to almost zero (yes, I know there are rare exceptions to every rule).
If the secondary is a mild acquaintance of the primary, a co-worker, a family member, or a friend but not a super close friend, then the primary will likely be way too uncomfortable. Don’t even try it. Instead, only focus on bringing complete strangers to her or one of her super close friends. Much, much easier. I know it doesn’t make any sense to our logical man-brains, but hey, we’re talking about women here.
4. The younger they are, the easier it is.
As is so often the case, because ASD increases in a woman’s mind for every year she ages, younger women are much easier to have threesomes with than older women. The vast majority of threesomes I’ve had involved women under the age of 23. With women this young, it’s so easy and there’s almost no technique to it, as long as you’re strong and Alpha in your interactions with them. Just invite them over to your place, have alcohol present if they want it, and you’re in. You still have to follow the women’s threesome rule though; that’s still in effect even for younger women.
I’m not saying you can’t have threesomes with older women. You certainly can and I have. (I’ve had multiple threesomes with women over 33.) It just takes a lot more time, a lot more patience, and your primary is going to be so god damn picky about it that it’s going to drive you nuts. To me, putting together threesomes with women who have that much ASD is too much work, but if it’s something you’re interested in, then go for it. Just be prepared to put up with more bullshit, unless again, you’re part of a sex club, poly community, or something similar.
That’s probably the number one thing that guys do wrong. They go monogamous (or close to it) with a girl they like, engage in all kinds of betaization and boyfriend behaviors, then one night, out of the blue, ask her if she would be down for a threesome with her sister.
Uh, no. That doesn’t work, as millions of idiot men can attest to.
This is why I’ve literally never had a problem putting together a threesome. My nonmonogamous, Alpha Male 2.0, 85/15 EFA is right there from the very start. Thus, when I pitch a threesome to a woman I’m seeing, it’s not weird at all. It’s perfectly in line with our entire relationship. Never once, and I mean this now, never once have I ever had a woman get upset or offended when I pitched a threesome. I also can’t even think of a time where a woman refused a threesome when I brought it up. That doesn’t mean I’ve had a threesome with every woman I’ve pitched it to; sometimes the threesomes never happen for logistical reasons or whatever. I’m just saying I can’t remember the last time a woman in my life flat-out said no to one.Remember that like with soft nexting, the techniques I’m about to show you won’t work if you’ve done everything wrong in the relationship up until now. Success with this stuff starts at the first minute of the first date, not right before you decided you want a threesome.
Alright, here we go:
1. There must always be a primary woman and a secondary woman.
The two (or more!) women you’re having sex with at the same time are not equal, and shouldn’t be. There should always be a primary woman; the woman you’re seeing, and a secondary woman; the “new” woman you’re bringing into the bed (or couch, or floor, or office, or helicopter) with the two of you.
Even if the two women are both people you’re already seeing, one still needs to feel like she’s a little more important than the other. Before the threesome ever begins, you need to be clear about which girl is the primary and which is the secondary.
If you don’t do this, then A) the threesome will be harder to put together, and B) you’re in for drama and/or hurt feelings from the woman you consider the more important one.
What if you honestly don’t give a shit about either woman? Perhaps they’re both FBs who are on the low-end of the scale. I still pick a primary, because I want my relationships to be as low-drama and long-lasting as possible.
2. Follow the correct sequence during the threesome.
If you’re at an advanced level and have already had many threesomes, then do them however you like. If you’re a complete beginner at this stuff, then the general flow of a threesome should go like this:
1. All three of you should play with each other very briefly.
2. Have sex with the secondary woman first, and get inside her as quickly as possible. Enjoy her for a while.
3. Switch to the primary woman and finish (orgasm) with her.
If you’re still raring to go after you orgasm with your primary, play with both women for a while or grab the secondary and go to town on her a second time.
This order ensures that you get to have sex with the secondary one quickly (to avoid any last minute ASD from her) and that the primary one feels more special. It’s a winning combination that eliminates a lot of problems and works every time.
3. Be aware of a woman’s internal “threesome rule.”
Women have this very bizarre rule when it comes to getting sexual with other women. It doesn’t make any sense to the masculine mind, but you must be aware of this rule and operate around it.
Here’s the rule that women have when it comes to them getting sexual with other women:
“I can get sexual with my best, closest friend(s). I can get sexual with women who are complete strangers I just met. I can’t get sexual with any other woman.”
So if you want to have a threesome, the secondary woman must be either a close, long-term girlfriend of hers, or a girl she doesn’t know at all and who she literally just met that evening. If you try to bring in any other type of woman as a secondary, your odds of a threesome happening drop to almost zero (yes, I know there are rare exceptions to every rule).
If the secondary is a mild acquaintance of the primary, a co-worker, a family member, or a friend but not a super close friend, then the primary will likely be way too uncomfortable. Don’t even try it. Instead, only focus on bringing complete strangers to her or one of her super close friends. Much, much easier. I know it doesn’t make any sense to our logical man-brains, but hey, we’re talking about women here.
4. The younger they are, the easier it is.
As is so often the case, because ASD increases in a woman’s mind for every year she ages, younger women are much easier to have threesomes with than older women. The vast majority of threesomes I’ve had involved women under the age of 23. With women this young, it’s so easy and there’s almost no technique to it, as long as you’re strong and Alpha in your interactions with them. Just invite them over to your place, have alcohol present if they want it, and you’re in. You still have to follow the women’s threesome rule though; that’s still in effect even for younger women.
I’m not saying you can’t have threesomes with older women. You certainly can and I have. (I’ve had multiple threesomes with women over 33.) It just takes a lot more time, a lot more patience, and your primary is going to be so god damn picky about it that it’s going to drive you nuts. To me, putting together threesomes with women who have that much ASD is too much work, but if it’s something you’re interested in, then go for it. Just be prepared to put up with more bullshit, unless again, you’re part of a sex club, poly community, or something similar.
5. The more bisexual they are, the easier it is.
This should go without saying but men often forget this. If the woman you’re seeing often talks about how hot other women are, asks to go to strip clubs, loves watching porn with hot girls, or other similar behaviors, it’s going to be a lot easier to get her into a threesome than if she’s never mentioned any of this stuff.
Be aware of this and keep that in mind. I’ve seen a lot of guys try to get completely non-bisexual women into threesomes, and often it’s like pulling teeth. If they have more submissive personalities, they might do it just to make you happy, and they’ll likely be uncomfortable during the process, but that’s the best you can hope for.My last OLTR (before my current one) was heavily bisexual, and was attracted to hot chicks just as much as I was, so having threesomes with her was as easy as pie. In contrast, the serious woman I was dating before her wasn’t bisexual at all, so a threesome was out of the question unless she was doing it just to make me happy (which I didn’t bother doing; I just had threesomes with my FBs instead).
6. You’ve got to be very strong, and lead.
Initiating a threesome takes BALLS. You can’t be passive. You need to be strong and lead the women into the threesome. Two women sitting in front of you are never going to initiate a threesome, even if they’re very attracted to you and each other (unless they’re extremely drunk, and even then don’t bank on it). You’re going to have to initiate everything.
There’s two ways that I know to initiate a threesome; the direct way and the indirect way.
The direct way is the method I use. You simply relax for a little bit, talk to the two women while on the couch (ideally the couch, not the kitchen table), and get them comfortable. Then, you just start in. Start sexually escalating on your primary. While doing this, touch the secondary a little bit. Encourage your primary to start touching the secondary as well. If you’ve laid all the groundwork I’ve described above, you won’t need to “encourage” your primary to start getting sexual with the secondary much at all.
Once things start moving between the three of you, shift your escalation from your primary to the secondary, and have sex with her, while letting your primary touch whomever she wants during this. And away you go. Just be sure to always be leading the interaction strongly and confidently. (Of course if either woman says no, then stop, but again, if you’d laid the groundwork, this won’t happen. I’ve never had a woman say no to this stuff once escalation began, because I lay all the necessary groundwork.)
If that seems too direct for you, then use the indirect method. It’s something I stole from Neil Strauss many years ago, and it works (again, if you’ve laid the groundwork). It’s not a technique I use since I’m a more sexually dominant guy, but you’re not a dominant guy or if you’re a beginner, it’s a valid technique. While the three of you are talking, start talking about how great it would feel to get a massage from two people at the same time, moving their hands on either side of your body at the same time and in the same way. Once conversation has moved to massage, tell them that the three of you should try it.
Take off your shirt, and lay face down on a large bed or on a blanket on the floor. Tell the two girls to get on either side of you and massage your back, but to move their hands at the same time and in the same way. Have them do this for just a few minutes and then tell your primary that it’s her turn.
Have her take off her shirt and lay face down, and start massaging her with your secondary for a few minutes. Then it’s the secondary’s turn for her to lay face down without her shirt on, and for you and your primary to massage her. Massage her for just a minute or two, then start making out with your primary while you’re still both massaging the secondary. All you have to do now is let nature take its course, and within a few seconds you’ll be having a threesome. This method is nice because it “warms up” both women nicely and slowly, gets them accustomed to touching each other, and rolls into sex nicely. (Again, if you’re a more dominant or experienced guy, you can skip all this and just get to the good stuff.)
7. Know where to find secondaries.
So you’ve got a girl you’re seeing who is down for a threesome because you’ve kept a nonmono frame, and because she’s either younger or more bisexual. Where do you find a secondary you guys can play with?
The best and easiest place, by far (if it’s available to you), is from her pool of close girlfriends. If she has several close girlfriends whom you find attractive, this is the low hanging fruit. This goes double if she is under the age of 23. Most of my threesomes have been with younger women and one of their girlfriends. More than once, I would be having sex with a secondary, during a threesome, within literally an hour of meeting her. Some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever slept with were women I met this way.
The next best option is to find a stranger, which is also okay, since it follows women’s crazy threesome rule. Online dating sites and Facebook both work for this, particularly if your primary is pretty. I’ve dated several women who would just cruise Facebook for hot girls, friend request them, have a conversation over Facebook, and then go have sex with these women, often all within the same evening. When it comes to young, bisexual women fucking other women, there is no such thing as ASD.Online dating sites work as well, but let your gal do the heavy lifting here. Use her photos and her profile, not yours. You can even use her profile and pretend you're her (assuming she gives you permission to do this of course) to pick up secondaries. Make sure your primary makes it clear that her “boyfriend” or the “guy she’s dating” is going to be hanging out with her, so the secondary knows it’s a package deal.
The last best option is to bring two women together who are strangers to each other, but whom you already know and are possibly are already having sex with. This is much trickier and requires a more advanced level of game and confidence. You have to make sure the girls are attracted to each other, and they may not be. You’ll have to manage any possible one-upmanship that may occur between them, and possibly any other drama. I’ve had threesomes this way only a handful of times, and I made it work, but I had to be very careful and keep my frame. The women were all under the age of 25, so that helped too. I hope this information helps brighten your day and spice up your relationship life. Have fun!
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
This should go without saying but men often forget this. If the woman you’re seeing often talks about how hot other women are, asks to go to strip clubs, loves watching porn with hot girls, or other similar behaviors, it’s going to be a lot easier to get her into a threesome than if she’s never mentioned any of this stuff.
Be aware of this and keep that in mind. I’ve seen a lot of guys try to get completely non-bisexual women into threesomes, and often it’s like pulling teeth. If they have more submissive personalities, they might do it just to make you happy, and they’ll likely be uncomfortable during the process, but that’s the best you can hope for.My last OLTR (before my current one) was heavily bisexual, and was attracted to hot chicks just as much as I was, so having threesomes with her was as easy as pie. In contrast, the serious woman I was dating before her wasn’t bisexual at all, so a threesome was out of the question unless she was doing it just to make me happy (which I didn’t bother doing; I just had threesomes with my FBs instead).
6. You’ve got to be very strong, and lead.
Initiating a threesome takes BALLS. You can’t be passive. You need to be strong and lead the women into the threesome. Two women sitting in front of you are never going to initiate a threesome, even if they’re very attracted to you and each other (unless they’re extremely drunk, and even then don’t bank on it). You’re going to have to initiate everything.
There’s two ways that I know to initiate a threesome; the direct way and the indirect way.
The direct way is the method I use. You simply relax for a little bit, talk to the two women while on the couch (ideally the couch, not the kitchen table), and get them comfortable. Then, you just start in. Start sexually escalating on your primary. While doing this, touch the secondary a little bit. Encourage your primary to start touching the secondary as well. If you’ve laid all the groundwork I’ve described above, you won’t need to “encourage” your primary to start getting sexual with the secondary much at all.
Once things start moving between the three of you, shift your escalation from your primary to the secondary, and have sex with her, while letting your primary touch whomever she wants during this. And away you go. Just be sure to always be leading the interaction strongly and confidently. (Of course if either woman says no, then stop, but again, if you’d laid the groundwork, this won’t happen. I’ve never had a woman say no to this stuff once escalation began, because I lay all the necessary groundwork.)
If that seems too direct for you, then use the indirect method. It’s something I stole from Neil Strauss many years ago, and it works (again, if you’ve laid the groundwork). It’s not a technique I use since I’m a more sexually dominant guy, but you’re not a dominant guy or if you’re a beginner, it’s a valid technique. While the three of you are talking, start talking about how great it would feel to get a massage from two people at the same time, moving their hands on either side of your body at the same time and in the same way. Once conversation has moved to massage, tell them that the three of you should try it.
Take off your shirt, and lay face down on a large bed or on a blanket on the floor. Tell the two girls to get on either side of you and massage your back, but to move their hands at the same time and in the same way. Have them do this for just a few minutes and then tell your primary that it’s her turn.
Have her take off her shirt and lay face down, and start massaging her with your secondary for a few minutes. Then it’s the secondary’s turn for her to lay face down without her shirt on, and for you and your primary to massage her. Massage her for just a minute or two, then start making out with your primary while you’re still both massaging the secondary. All you have to do now is let nature take its course, and within a few seconds you’ll be having a threesome. This method is nice because it “warms up” both women nicely and slowly, gets them accustomed to touching each other, and rolls into sex nicely. (Again, if you’re a more dominant or experienced guy, you can skip all this and just get to the good stuff.)
7. Know where to find secondaries.
So you’ve got a girl you’re seeing who is down for a threesome because you’ve kept a nonmono frame, and because she’s either younger or more bisexual. Where do you find a secondary you guys can play with?
The best and easiest place, by far (if it’s available to you), is from her pool of close girlfriends. If she has several close girlfriends whom you find attractive, this is the low hanging fruit. This goes double if she is under the age of 23. Most of my threesomes have been with younger women and one of their girlfriends. More than once, I would be having sex with a secondary, during a threesome, within literally an hour of meeting her. Some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever slept with were women I met this way.
The next best option is to find a stranger, which is also okay, since it follows women’s crazy threesome rule. Online dating sites and Facebook both work for this, particularly if your primary is pretty. I’ve dated several women who would just cruise Facebook for hot girls, friend request them, have a conversation over Facebook, and then go have sex with these women, often all within the same evening. When it comes to young, bisexual women fucking other women, there is no such thing as ASD.Online dating sites work as well, but let your gal do the heavy lifting here. Use her photos and her profile, not yours. You can even use her profile and pretend you're her (assuming she gives you permission to do this of course) to pick up secondaries. Make sure your primary makes it clear that her “boyfriend” or the “guy she’s dating” is going to be hanging out with her, so the secondary knows it’s a package deal.
The last best option is to bring two women together who are strangers to each other, but whom you already know and are possibly are already having sex with. This is much trickier and requires a more advanced level of game and confidence. You have to make sure the girls are attracted to each other, and they may not be. You’ll have to manage any possible one-upmanship that may occur between them, and possibly any other drama. I’ve had threesomes this way only a handful of times, and I made it work, but I had to be very careful and keep my frame. The women were all under the age of 25, so that helped too. I hope this information helps brighten your day and spice up your relationship life. Have fun!
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.