Historically, I’ve had six volumes of ebooks called the Blackdragon Dating System. (With the recent publication of The Ultimate Online Dating Manual, this number has changed a little.) What you don’t know is that I also wrote a seventh volume that I never published.
Back in early 2011, when my crazy phase with women was starting to wind down, I decided to write a new book that described, in detail, all the women I had slept or went out on dates with in my entire life up until that point, starting all the way back in high school, though mostly between 2007 and 2011. The book would also notate various lessons and techniques I had learned to help the reader avoid my mistakes and learn from my experiences.
I made sure to change the names of all the women involved. I also used my spreadsheets, which track everything I do in detail, to guide me as to particular events and specific dates. I had a lot of data to draw upon, making the book very accurate. The book was essentially my spreadsheets re-written in journal/story form.
I finished about 40% of the book before I realized something; there was no way I could publish this publicly without certain people getting outed and certain other people getting in trouble. Of course, I wouldn’t get in trouble. I never lie to women, have never cheated on a woman, and never promise absolute sexual monogamy, so as usual I’m in the clear. I never get trouble for lying or violating promises, because I don’t make those promises in the first place. I live my life as I wish, based on happiness and honesty, and if a woman doesn’t like that she can leave me and go date some other guy (who will likely lie to her, or cheat on her, or treat her like shit, or bore her to death). Very simple.
However, as you’re well aware, other people do not follow this model, including many of the women I’ve been with. This means that various women in my past would get in trouble if I published a book like this. Even with me changing the names, I know how the internet works, and it would be reasonably easy for certain people who know other people to put two and two together to identify some of the women described. It’s happened before, so I’ve learned to be careful. As usual, I don’t care if you know my stuff, but the women I’ve dated in the past never asked to become public figures (with a few exceptions of course). This means I need to be cool about all of this and protect their anonymity
When I say “get in trouble,” I mean that many of these women had boyfriends at the time. Many other women did things that they may be embarrassed about today, many years later. A tiny few of them had husbands. Many of them didn’t have husbands or kids back then, but do now. As attractive, outgoing women often do, a few women have since become minor celebrities in their own circles, such as in politics, modeling, acting, blogging, YouTube, and other mediums.
Hopefully you get my point. I didn’t want my book to be the cause of any problems with these women in their current relationships or careers. Though it may not seem like it sometimes because of the blunt communication style on my blogs, I’m a nice person in real life. I care about the women I’ve been with. I care about everyone in my life.
So with a heavy heart, I made the decision to shelf the book and not publish it. Though it could have made a lot of money for me, I didn’t want to stir up any drama for anyone.
A few weeks ago, I pulled out that half-finished book and re-read it. I still agreed it wasn’t a good idea to publish, but I couldn’t deny there was some really good stuff in there that really could help a lot of men navigate the often confusing world of women.
I’ve decided to delete or substantially edit the parts I consider dangerous to some of the women I’ve been with, and “publish” the book for free as bite-sized chunks on this blog as a regular series. Every few weeks I’ll publish another installment, starting with today. The capitalist in me reeeeeeeeeeally wants to charge money for this book, but the philanthropist in me wants to give you this for free. Since The Ultimate Online Dating Manual sold far beyond my own projections over the last few days, I’m feeling pretty good about giving you guys this “book” for free.
The names have still been changed, as have some minor details to protect certain people’s anonymity, but beyond that everything I report in this series is 100% accurate. Here now is part one of The Story of My History With Women. I’m going to start at the very beginning. Enjoy. More to come.
As a kid, I went to a private catholic school from grades one to eight. For eight long years, I was stuck going to class with the same 20-25 kids, and none of the girls in that small group I considered attractive. When I finally transferred to the big public high school (my parents were not people of means and they had run out of money), that all changed.
Once I was there, for the first time, I saw girls who looked like the hot babes I had seen on TV. The skinny blondes with the big boobs. The short, cute, quiet girls with long, dark hair. Etc.
On the first day of my sophomore year, way back in September of 1987, I was sitting in the back of the room in keyboarding class, and I saw a girl enter the room. I was transfixed. Her name was Christy, and though I didn’t know it at the time, it was Christy who set the template for what I was physically attracted to for the rest of my life.
It has been said, and I wholly agree with it, that the “template” for what a man thinks is hot is set in early adolescence, somewhere around age 13 or 14, based on his experiences at that time. I was about 15 at the time, and it was Christy, with her white skin, her long blonde hair, her big, dark brown eyes, her short, very trim, 5’1” body, her perky tits, and her huge, bubble-like black-girl ass, who set the stage for what I thought was the ultimate in female beauty.
That was 25 years ago, and since then every woman I have been really sexually attracted to as been a physical variation of Christy in some way.
I did not have sex in high school. My negative Christian programming from my former nun mother saw to that. However, I was reasonably confident, and by the time I was a senior I was able to walk up to a girl and ask her out on a date with minimal fear (whether or not she said yes was a different story). I dated a lot of girls in high school, kissed a few, squeezed a few boobs, but that was about it.
Not having any sex in high school was a huge mistake for me. Though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I have a massive sex drive and avoiding sex for that long was a very bad idea I would pay the price for later.
Christy was my ultimate goal, and I did everything society told me to do to get the girl. I wrote her notes telling her how I felt, about how much I loved her and how beautiful she was. I bought her bouquets of roses. Thinking I was very clever, I talked to her girlfriends and told them to put in a good word for me. And they actually did. I did all kinds of things that my mind, instinct, and gut told me to do, as well as all the things my friends, family, and the movies told me to do. They all felt 100% right.
And to my surprise, none of those things worked. Christy did her best to avoid me for the next three years. We never got past a first date (a Judas Priest concert…not a place to take a cute little girl-next-door type like Christy).
It was there I learned my first lesson:
The methods to attract women that come from what society tells you, and what your instinct tells you, are all wrong. They don’t work.
When it comes to getting that girl, if the movies tell you it’s the right thing to do, if your friends tell you it’s the right thing to do, if women tell you it’s the right thing to do, if your mom or dad or grandma tell you it’s the right thing to do, and even if your own gut feelings tell you it’s the right thing to do, you can almost guarantee it’s the wrong thing to do and you should not do it.
Women don’t work the way society tells you they work. Women and society tell you to do the things that are the most societally appropriate, not the things that actually get women wet with sexual desire. Often, these two things are diametric opposites to each other. Usually, not always, but usually, following societally appropriate advice of being a nice guy (a “gentleman”) in order to get a girl will get you into friend zone, not sex. It pushes all the wrong buttons.
It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but when I finally did, my life was never the same, and a whole new world opened up for me.
To be continued…