I don’t talk about my personal life often, but I think it’s fair that you should know at least a little about what goes on behind the scenes with anyone giving you lifestyle advice. Below are some of the questions people ask me (via email, over Skype, or in person at seminars, etc.) about my life and their answers.
Why did your son go to college when you’re so opposed to college?
Because my son is a grown man (he’s 24), thus he’s free to do whatever he wants. Once your child turns 18, you can’t boss them around like slaves any more; they’re an adult at that point and need to find their own path in life.
I’m an Alpha 2.0, which means I constantly told my kids when they were younger that they should not strive to be clone of me or their mother, but instead find their own path to happiness. This is the opposite of an Alpha 1.0 father, who would strongly urge his children to follow in his footsteps, and get upset and hurt if they don’t. Of course they know all of my strong opinions, but it’s still their choice to make.
My two children will likely make lots of decisions over the course of their lives that I may disagree with. College, monogamy, legal marriage, voting, political activism, drama in their relationships, my kids may end up doing some or all of those things. That’s the way it goes. It’s their life. All I want for my kids is to be happy.
And for the record, my son later admitted that college was a mistake. Father knows best after all.
Will your daughter be going to college too?
No. She hates school more than even I hated school when I was her age, and that’s saying something.
My two children are very different. My son is extroverted, charismatic and active. My daughter is an introverted, artsy skeptic. She’ll be 18 and done with high school in a few months, then she’ll go to work full time.
Do you want your daughter to have an open marriage or OLTR like you describe?
If that would make her happy, yes. Likely it would.
Again, I just want my kids to be happy. As long as they’re happy, I don’t really concern myself with specifically how they go about it. I just know that being monogamously married to some beta who my daughter bossed around would not make her happy in the long-term.
That being said, my daughter is a woman, so she’s not capable of long-term consistent happiness no matter what she does. So with her, my hope is that she can be as consistently happy as is reasonably possible for her gender.
What are you going to do about your kids once you move out of the country?
Nothing. They’re adults now so their lives are their responsibility. Hopefully they’ll be smart and leave the dying West too, but that’s their decision. At the moment, my son is talking about moving to the east coast and my daughter wants to move to New Zealand someday, but my kids are still very young adults so these things are subject to change.
Plus, I’ll be spending 3-4 months per year in the US even after I move my home base in 2025, so I’ll still be spending a lot of time with them and my future grandkids even if they choose to remain in the US. Read my moving out of the country series at my other blog if you want more details on what I’m doing.
Are you going to have more kids?
I’d really rather not and I’m not planning on it, but if some amazing, hypothetical future woman I really like gets on her hands and knees and begs me for kids and she agrees 100% with the child rearing program I describe in my book, then I would possibly agree to it. She’d better be a incredibly impressive, 100% Blackdragon-compatible woman though. I’m not holding my breath.
Regardless, in terms of a possible future OLTR, I always find myself leaning towards either women who already have kids and who some other guy is already paying child support for, or women who don’t want any kids, or women too old to have kids, or women who physically can’t have children. Women who clearly declare they want kids (or more kids) and are still young enough to have them instantly lose about 10 points in terms of OLTR compatibility with me (not in terms of a long-term FB or MLTR relationship though). But again, me having more kids is still technically possible.
How many women are in your life now, right this minute?
Three consistent ones, one very sporadic and inconsistent one, and two more I rarely see. To me that means “three,” which is my usual minimum, since two is too close to one, and one is de facto monogamy and thus unacceptable.
Do the women you date ever read your blog?
The MLTRs, yes. The FBs, not really.
The FBs don’t because they don’t care. Some of the MLTRs and many ex-MLTRs do because I always end up showing them my blogs and books, particularly since publicly outing myself about three years ago. Many of them have left comments on this blog under various aliases.
Most of my women, MLTRs included, don’t care and don’t read the blog even after being shown. Men worry way too much about women finding out about what they do for a living or say on the internet. Trust me, most women don’t give a shit. They’re too busy thinking about themselves.
Do your kids ever read this blog?
My son reads this blog occasionally and has commented here before. My daughter has read maybe two blog posts here but that’s about it. Again, she’s a woman so she doesn’t care.
Does your kids’ mom read this blog?
We don’t talk, so I don’t know but I doubt it. My daughter showed it to her several years ago. Her mom was horrified and sent me a few angry texts, which I promptly deleted. Since then, I haven’t heard a thing about it. Again, she’s a woman so I doubt she cares.
Are your parents still married?
Yes. They celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary in May. My dad has been divorced and my mom was his second wife. They are both in their 70s and I love them very much. My dad used to be a mild Alpha Male 1.0, now he’s an extreme beta (that’s what 45 years of mono-marriage does to an Alpha). My mom used to be a Submissive, now she’s a mild Dominant (that’s what 45 years of mono-marriage does to a woman). Their marriage is exactly what you’d expect with a Dominant married to an extreme beta.
What do your parents think about all this Blackdragon / Alpha Male 2.0 stuff?
My mom is an over-33 woman, so she thinks exactly what you’d expect; that it’s childish and that I should just get married, become monogamous and be miserable like all my other married family members. She’s hilarious. Every time she talks about it I laugh my ass off and she just snorts. I’m taking her to Europe this year to visit her distant Italian relatives in Sicily. We’ll have a lot of fun.
My dad thinks it’s extremely fascinating and we’ve had many deep discussions about it over lunch. He’s a psychologist, so he has some great perspectives on it. He agrees with about 70% of it, strongly disagrees with the other 30%, with his beta and outdated Alpha 1.0 Societal Programming getting in his way. Regardless, he finds it interesting and respects my viewpoints and choices. He has also admitted on several occasions that I am, by far, the happiest of his six adult children (most of whom are married and monogamous).
Assuming you believe in such a thing, have you actually been in love before? If you have, could you describe the woman (or women)?
Yes. I have been in love three times, once as a beta (the woman I married) and twice as an Alpha. Compared to the large number of women I’ve had open/poly relationships with, three isn’t very many, so clearly, falling in love is a pretty rare event for me. I’m not a very emotional guy, I hate even small amounts of drama, and I’m pretty picky when it comes to something like love or OLTR. Worse, the older I get, the pickier I become.
I can’t give you details about these women, because at various points I’ve made promises about what I will and will not say publicly about them. But I can speak generally.
The woman I married was in her 30s when I was 25. She was a hot, blonde, Midwestern, conservative country girl, who was honest and had a good heart, the kind of gal many Alpha 1.0s seek to marry because they think such a marriage will last forever, which it clearly does not. We were married for nine years, seven of them good. We were monogamous during that time, which was painful for me.
The second woman was also in her 30s, also blonde, hot, and from the Midwest like the first one. However, she was far smarter and more sarcastic, and we were much more sexually and intellectually compatible. She was a high-end MLTR, off and on, several times over the last nine years.
The third one was in her 20s and Asian. It took over two years of seeing her consistently for me to actually start to get feelings for her. She was very hardworking, honest, low-drama, and had a ridiculously high sex drive, one of the few women I’ve ever been with who was able to consistently match me in this area, which is one of the biggest reasons we were together for so long. We were together for five and a half years consistently. She was a FB, later upgraded to MTLR, then later upgraded to de facto OLTR.
In the last three years or so, no woman in my life has come close to love. As a 43 year-old man, my guess is that I will fall in love with perhaps another one to three women before my day is done. But that’s just a guess.
You want an OLTR, but are you okay if you never have one?
Oh yes. An OLTR is completely optional. If all I had was FBs and MLTRs (with one “main girl” high-end MLTR in there) and never had anything else for the rest of my life, that would be perfectly fine with me. If I desperately wanted an OLTR right now, I’d have one. There are at least four women I know who would agree to that right this second if I asked them.
Is there a woman in your life right now you consider a strong candidate for OLTR?
Yes. For the first time in quite a while.
No details. Fuck you.
If you had a really serious OLTR who you loved very much and she wanted a wedding, would you do it and just keep the legal part out of it?
Sure. I have a very close relative who pretty much did exactly that. He “married” his girlfriend in a fancy “wedding” ceremony in another country that wasn’t legally binding in any way. So now he’s “married” but he’s actually not. Smart. As long as he’s covered his local co-habitation laws, he’s good to go.
I’m fine with doing that as long as the wedding was inexpensive (or I didn’t have to pay for it) and it wasn’t too girly and gay. That’s a problem because I tend to be most attracted to hyper-feminine, ultra-girly women who are really into all that girly fairytale shit. (A certain someone in my life just bought a new pair of girly shoes, and god damn, she was prancing around for an hour like she had just won the lottery.) I grumble about it sometimes, but it’s legitimately what I’m most attracted to. My own personal paradox. Fuck me.
Do you ever want to retire?
No. I will work for the rest of my life, well into my old age, even if I don’t need to for financial reasons. Working is perhaps my greatest joy in life.
I will probably back off on the work hours as I get much older, but watching my mentors and men I respect as they get older, like Jim Rogers, Brian Tracy, Alan Weiss, Doug Casey, and many others, even that may not happen. Even in their 70s, these men are still working at full-blast and loving it. Moreover, my Mission dictates that the nature of my work will change as I climb into my 50s, but that’s a long way off.
But no, I’ll never stop working. Men are creatures of work. We are objective-seeking organisms. Sitting around in constant leisure does not fulfill us. Work makes us happy, provided it’s the right work and we have plenty of fun and sex mixed in.
How long will you be doing the Blackdragon stuff?
I’m strategic about everything I do. I’m consistent and I play the long game. That’s why I’m successful. This Blackdragon business has always had a 15-year time horizon since I started it in 2009. That means I’ll be here talking about this stuff until at least 2024 before I consider stopping, which is another eight years from now.
I’ll be 51 years old at that time, which is right about when my Mission shifts into phase two. This will also be around when I leave the country (2025). As usual, all of my businesses, business projects, plans, and personal life tie into my long-term goals and Mission seamlessly, which is exactly the way this is supposed to work. Alpha Male 2.0 is the best life you can have, but you’ve got to be organized and think long-term.
Betas and Alpha 1.0s can go with the societal flow, change their minds whenever they want, and suffer all the usual problems men have. But 2.0s must commit to a Mission, set goals, make plans, work hard, and stick with those plans even on days they don’t feel like it. The reward is the best life a man can possibly live.
I highly recommend it.