Usually it’s women who whine about how Chivalry Is Dead™. It’s a topic I hear about often. Today we’ll look at a depressing article where a man is complaining about it. Ah, betas. I’ll just dive right in and explain why the concept of chivalry (in a dating context) is no longer a valid practice for men in the 21st century.
In the hookup culture we now live in,
There is no hookup culture, as I already proved here. Despite in increase in sexual imagery, people have very little actual sex these days.
It’s pretty obvious that chivalry is completely dead.
About 90% dead, yes. It started when women started divorcing men in large numbers.
Men didn’t kill chivalry. Women did.
Maybe my parents were old fashioned, maybe growing up in a tight knit Italian family resulted in different values.
I too grew up a tight knit Italian family, but you don’t see me whining about chivalry.
But I was always preached the value of chivalry and etiquette from the women in my life.
As I’ve discussed in my books, chivalry made perfect sense way back when the divorce rate was under 8%. But now when real divorce rates are almost 70%, and 80% of the time it’s the woman divorcing the man, there is no point in kissing a woman’s ass like this during the dating phase. Being chivalrous no longer pays off like it used to.
From my grandmother to my mother, you better believe I learned my lessons, either verbally or via the wooden spoon.
Why are you not talking about what your dad taught you?
Or were you raised by a single mother? (That would explain a lot.)
But why now does it seem like it’s completely impossible for men to do what I would consider the ‘normal’ thing?
See above about women divorcing men in mass numbers.
Dating is done. Seriously, who goes on dates anymore?
I do. All the time. I just don’t buy a fancy dinner for a woman I’ve never had sex with. That would be stupid.
It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink and getting down.
Exactly. After you have sex twice, then you can focus on building a relationship. Sex first, connection and relationship second.
If you try to build a relationship before any sex, you’ll end up going on dinner date after dinner date with tons of women and getting nowhere with any of them. Refer to my article on Women’s Three Buttons for exactly how this works.
I think I’m the only single guy who knows what actually takes a girl out to a restaurant on a first date. There’s a reason for this.
Yes, it’s because either you’re a either beta or you’re the male version of a provider hunter.
If you take a girl out and show her you’re more than some douche looking to just get in her pants, odds are, you’re going to get a second date, at least.
Correct. Women love attention, free food, and free alcohol, so you will likely get a second date so they can get more free stuff from you. Perhaps a third or fourth one too. But you won’t get laid. She’ll dump your ass and go have sex with an Alpha like me before you get to date five or so.
Or worse, you’ll “succeed” and she’ll rope you into a restrictive, woman-centric monogamous relationship where you’ll be her little bitch, because that’s the mono-beta EFA you gave her from date one.
Call me old fashioned, but a nice dinner is worth the money to get to know someone to some extent.
You can get to know a woman without spending $85+ on dinner and drinks. I do it all the time.
For me, it’s not about the money,
Clearly. Instead it’s about being a submissive beta to some future Unicorn Woman you’re pedestalizing.
And I get why people are stingy when it comes to going out with people they don’t know. Look, I get it. Sh*t costs money. But really, what’s the difference? Treat yourself to a good meal, and if the company is good, why the hell wouldn’t you take a girl out to a nice dinner?
Because it reduces the odds of both A) you getting laid and B) you and her entering into a win-win relationship for both of you.
Once you’re having sex with her regularly, then take her out to dinner all you like.
All I know is, the more I look around, the less I see men treating women the way that we’re raised to.
Because the way you were raised reflects the world of 50 or 60 years ago, not the world of today. You need to update your software. Badly.
What happened to paying for dinners and drinks?
Nothing happened to it. Betas like you do it all the time. Women on Match.com are getting free dinners in droves from men like you.
What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors?
I always hold doors for women, but that’s probably because I’m an old man in his 40s. Pulling out chairs, no, unless it’s a high-end MLTR or OLTR and we’re going on some kind of big date that’s celebrating something.
What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that sh*t?
I do that. I’m a gentleman. A gentleman who has sex on the second date by spending less than $20.
Where did we lose the chivalrous touch?
Around the early 90s when the divorce rates (and remember that’s women leaving men) really started to take off.
When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang?
Most girls under age 33 love that.
If it didn’t work, we Alphas wouldn’t do it. Women are free to start closing their legs at any time. Do you see women doing so?
I rest my case.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about those instances,
Yes you are. That’s your entire article.
I’m just saying, why have we strayed away from what has been established as the norm?
If you’re talking about the norm from 40 years ago, yeah. Prior to the 1990s, lifetime employment was the norm. Lifetime marriage was the norm. Not owning a computer was the norm.
But norms change, dude. You and I don’t have to like or agree with the change, but we do have to acknowledge it and update our behaviors to reflect the new norm. Or else you’ll be confused, pissed off, and/or frustrated (like you).
I think, in an ever-changing landscape of communication between 140 character tweets, LOLs and ROTFLs, we’ve lost our ability to communicate, altogether.
You are correct. I’m not a fan of this either, but again, this is the way society has changed. Accept it and be happy or be angry about it for the rest of your life.
I chose happiness, so I stopped caring. Women can now ROTFL all they like and it literally doesn’t affect my happiness in any way. Soon she’ll be naked and bent over my couch screaming my name, so I don’t really care what she texts.
You go to a noisy bar and expect to get to know someone new, when all you really wind up with is uninteresting small talk.
Correct. That’s why I don’t go to noisy bars. See how easy happiness is?
We don’t take the time to get to really know people anymore and that’s why you see relationships and marriages failing at a 50 percent clip.
Oh, it’s much worse than 50 percent, as I’ve shown many times. But I realize that’s the number propagated by false Societal Programming, so I’ll let that one slide.
I think most normal people would be terrified to learn that the real lifetime divorce rate among people who actually get married these days is well north of 70% and continuing to worsen, so they keep clinging to this outdated “50%” figure.
Ultimately, push is going to come to shove here, and I figured it would have happened by now, but for some reason, it has not.
Over time, less people are going to get legally married, that’s all. They’ll still co-habit and have kids, so don’t worry. That’s biological and can’t be stopped. But yes, the legal mechanism called “marriage” which has been utterly broken for decades is going to eventually have to be replaced or updated (I vote for updated). People clearly don’t want the old model any more (even though they still pretend to).
The real problem here is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.
That’s because women desired freedom from the slavery of men, i.e. marriage. They wanted to do whatever they wanted to do, and have sex with whomever they wanted, just like men have been able to.
If you’re a right-winger who is stuck in the past, that probably pisses you off. If you’re a guy who loves women, loves freedom, and loves sex, you’re probably very happy about this. I know I am. I would hate to live in the 1950s and so would most other modern-day men.
We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clingers.
Because that’s exactly what you are.
I’m not looking for a girlfriend, nor am I looking for a wife.
Oh bullllllllllllshit. That is exactly what you’re looking for (or at least fantasizing about) or else this stuff wouldn’t bother you as much as it does.
If I take you out to a nice dinner, it’s because I’m a nice guy,
Oh, you poor fucking beta.
How often do you actually get laid from new women? I think I know.
And I am looking forward to spending time with you somewhere other than the bedroom.
You can do that without spending a pile of money on a fancy dinner, you beta! I do that all the time.
Eventually, I feel that women will wise up and start asking for the things that they deserve,
Uh, hold up. Women deserve hours of attention and free money and free food from men they know they’re never going to have sex with? Oh really?
What the hell do men deserve then? Anything? Or are we just a big, fat walking wallet to service women’s financial whims?
The things used to be automatic and expected of men, like holding a door, pulling out a chair, and paying for dinners.
When women stop dumping men and divorcing men, I promise that men will become more chivalrous again. The ball is in women’s court.
Until then, men are going to get away with putting in the bare minimum and receiving what we ultimately want anyway – sex.
Oh, that sounds terrible! The horror!
How dare people have sex!
It’s pretty obvious that women own the cards, and when they start acting like it, they’ll finally start getting dinner from places that don’t deliver.
Women over 33 already do this, and all it accomplishes is screening for submissive betas whom these women can later divorce when they get bored with them.
If you want to marry a Dominant woman who will boss you around and then divorce you a few years later, then by all means, keep buying all these women fancy dinners on the first date.
I’ll be over here being happy.
(A note to all of you movement guys. This man is not only the norm, but he’s the future. Get used to many more men thinking and acting like his. The Era of the Beta has begun, a long time ago. All hail President Hillary!)