I do not drink. I have never been drunk in my entire life. I have been a little buzzed about six times in my entire life. Sometimes, like when out on a first date or at a business lunch or dinner with clients, I may order a glass of wine and take a few sips of it, in order to put everyone else at ease, but that’s the extent of my drinking. I have never consumed liquor.
Here are the questions I usually get asked about this:
“Is it because you’re religious?”
Quite the opposite. I’m against organized religion, since it’s just another form of false Societal Programming. I’m extremely agnostic, just a hair away from atheist (but not quite).
“Is it because you were an alcoholic once?”
No. I’ve never been drunk in my life, and I’ve never even had the desire to drink. Happiness is too easily accessible in other ways and with fewer side effects.
“Is it because your parents were really strict about this?”
No. My mom was a former nun but my dad was a left-wing, hippyish Alpha Male 1.0 who drank beer occasionally. Alcohol wasn’t a big deal in my house, for or against.
“Is it because you had some kind of bad experience with alcohol in your past?”
Again, I’ve never been drunk, and my parents didn’t drink much, so no.
When I was about 12 years old I stole a can of my dad’s beer from the refrigerator, took it outside far from the house, and drank about half the can, just to see what “being drunk would be like.” It tasted like absolute shit, made me a little dizzy for a few minutes, and that was about it. I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
I wouldn’t call that a “bad experience” though. I grew up with plenty of people who drank and seemed to really enjoy it. To this day, most of the women I date drink and enjoy it. The younger women drink liquor, the older women drink wine. A few of my women don’t drink at all but they’re in the minority.
Then why don’t I drink? There are several reasons. Here they are, listed in no particular order.
Reason 1: Extreme INTJ personality traits
One of the aspects of INTJ and similar personality types (though it’s important to understand that not all INTJs have this) is that you’re a control freak over yourself, but you don’t strongly desire to control others. That’s me to a T.
In terms of myself, I am an utterly ridiculous control freak. In my work, I’m a massive time management nerd and track my daily, weekly, and monthly activities using all kinds of nerdy but effective techniques (which you can read all about over at my business blog). With women, I’m very controlled and my emotions are very compartmentalized. With my physical fitness, I’m anal as fuck about my exercise, my blood content, and all kinds of other crap.
I’m a control freak…but just over me.
Yet when it comes to other people in my life, I’m Alpha Male 2.0 in the extreme. I just don’t give a shit.
Women I date can fuck other dudes; don’t care.
Business clients I work with can make all the wrong decisions and drive their companies into the ground; don’t care. As long as I’m advising them to do the correct things, my job is done; if they want to ignore my advice, that’s their problem. The same goes for men I coach with.
With my kids, I never get upset and I’m super lenient other than a tiny number of rules.
My entire country can go insane (which it has) and crumble all around me (which it is); don’t care. I’ll just move somewhere else.
I just don’t give a shit about what other people do, but care a lot about what I do.
Therefore, I think that subconsciously I avoid drinking because I avoid being out of control over myself. At the same time, people around me can drink all they want; don’t care. My cupboard is full of all kinds wine and hard liquor. I never drink any of it. It’s for guests. I don’t care if they drink, but I’m not.
Reason Two: Hyper-rational personality
I’m too rational to drink. Drinking requires some level of human irrationality, and I don’t have enough of that. Why the hell would you want to get drunk when it’s going to ruin the entire next day (or at least the morning) for you? Wouldn’t it be easier to be happy doing something else instead? Like having sex or going to see a movie?
But see, that’s robot-Blackdragon talking; it’s too rational.
This is the exact same reason I’m not into sports. I’m too rational for it. Here’s something robot-me would say about sports: “Wait a minute. That guy was on our team and you loved him, but now he’s on another team…and now you hate him? That makes no sense. He’s the same guy playing the same sport the same way. Are you saying you’re just rooting for uniforms? Doesn’t that sound insane to you?”
See? I’m a total buzzkill when it comes to sports. You don’t want to take me to a football game; I’ll complain and roll my eyes the entire time. I’m not irrational enough to enjoy it. Same goes for drinking.
Reason Three: I don’t need the extra problems. Life is hard enough already.
Getting that cute girl you’re on a first date to have sex with you within three hours of face time is hard enough when you’re sober. Why in the hell would you want to make it even harder by downing a few screwdrivers and getting tipsy or drunk? Do you realize the number of guys who send me emails about all the lays they lost out on because they were drinking too much?
Starting your own business and getting that thing to a six-figure income is hard enough if you’re sober 100% of the time. Why the hell would you want to make that even more difficult by getting shitfaced on a semi-regular basis?
Do you really want the extra problems? Do you want life to be harder? I don’t. I like things easy. But that’s me.
This is the same reason I don’t do drugs. I don’t want the extra potential for problems. Normal life presents enough problems already. I don’t want any more. I just want the happiness, thank you.
The one time I drink alcohol, as I said above, is when I’m in a social environment and it’s clear the people I’m spending time with are nervous or uncomfortable because I’m not drinking alcohol like they are. Alcohol is pushed so hard by Societal Programming that many people do indeed get uncomfortable when they’re drinking (or want to drink) and you’re just drinking water. So to put them at ease (so I can get laid or make money, depending on the scenario), I order a glass of very pussy white wine (like a cheap Riesling or Pino Gris).
Then I take a few sips, and they think (or say) “Oh good, he’s drinking! Now I can drink! Thank god!” Then they drink all they want, even though I usually don’t even drink half my glass.
Here are the objections I hear when I make the above points:
I drink (or do drugs) all the time and I don’t have any problem. Just because you drink (or do drugs) doesn’t automatically mean you’ll have problems, BD.
First off, I’m going to be very, very nice and assume that you’re being 100% honest when you say that even though you drink regularly (or do drugs) you have ZERO problems. Based on my experience, I have a strong feeling that if I asked you some probing questions, we’d find that you have indeed experienced problems in your past because you drink (or do drugs). Problems I have never had to worry about. This is to say nothing about the problems you have yet to experience as you get much older (liver problems, blood problems, skin problems, etc).
But I’ll be nice. Okay, you have ZERO problems. Doesn’t matter. If someone doesn’t drink and then starts, he might not have any problem, or he might have some. But I won’t have any, ever. Because I refrain from drinking, my odds for any problems related to my personal consumption of alcohol are exactly zero. Can you say the same?
Drinking makes me more confident when I meet women.
Then set a goal to learn to get more confident without the alcohol, and get to work. I’m perfectly confident meeting new women while I’m 100% sober. How do you explain that? Because I worked on being confident with women without the crutch of having to inject a dangerous, additive drug into my body to artificially alter my mood temporarily and then make me feel like shit the next morning. You could do the same if you really wanted to.
Studies have shown that drinking one glass of read wine per day is good for you.
That’s because of the antioxidants red wine has. Did you know there are about a billion other ways to get those same antioxidants without drinking alcohol? I get those same antioxidants using vitamins. These don’t have any negative side effects.
You’re just making excuses. Just be honest and say it: you like drinking wine.
Drinking helps me de-stress after a rough day.
If you have one or two of these rough days per year, then fine. But if you’re having these “rough days” on a regular basis, then with all due respect, you need to fix your fucking life. My “rough days” are really, really rare. I seriously can’t remember the last time I had one.
Back when I was societally-programmed beta male, I had rough days all the time. But I decided I didn’t like rough days, so I changed. You can do the same.
Dude, you just need to relax. Sometimes you just gotta live a little, you know?
Um, are you talking to me? I’m literally one of the happiest men I know, one of the healthiest men my age I know, I’m free to do whatever I want, I make great money doing things I love without working long hours, I have sex with multiple beautiful women with virtually zero drama, and travel whenever I feel like it.
I “live” more than the average 20 normal people put together. And I do it without drinking any alcohol. There are hundreds of things you can do to make you happier. Alcohol is just one. You can find many others with zero negative ramifications or side effects.
I don’t think I’m going to change anyone’s mind here. I’m just stating my opinions on why I don’t drink. When the downsides are so clear and the upsides are so minor, I always know what to do: something else.