A few weeks ago I posted this article about how women waste their entire lives looking for a Unicorn Man who doesn’t exist. This man is the “Submissive Alpha,” a strong, tough, take-charge, masculine badass who also obeys all of her instructions, treats her like a lady at all times, and never cheats on her. In other words, a man who literally doesn’t exist.
Women instead must choose between a beta male, who will follow her orders and treat her like a lady but eventually bore the shit out of her, or an Alpha Male, who will constantly keep her attracted and excited but who will at least semi-regularly be breaking her big relationship rules (such as cheating). There is no such thing as a “Beta-Alpha,” yet women will happily waste decades of their lives, going through cheating, breakups, and divorces looking for this man, until finally figuring out there is no such thing by the time she’s in her 50s.
Today we’re going to talk about how many Alpha Males do the same damn thing; wasting their entire lives looking for a Unicorn Woman who doesn’t exist. I’ve discussed this topic several times before but never examined it fully.
I observed this delusion so often with Alphas that many years ago I came up with a term to describe it: Guy-Disney. Per the glossary, here’s the definition:
Guy-Disney – The incorrect thought men have that somewhere out there is a girl who will love you forever, never cheat on you, never get bored with you, and never break up with you.
And there you go. That’s Ms. Unicorn Woman. Because of Guy-Disney, Alpha Males will have sex with scores, if not hundreds of women looking for this special person…and yet never find her.
Why? Because she doesn’t exist.
Since men are not women, men exhibit this life-wasting fantasy very differently than females. In their pursuit for Unicorn Man, women simply go on date after date and have relationship after relationship until they’re finally exhausted in their 50s and settle for whichever beta male happens to be left standing when the music stops. Men, being a little more methodical, go about this delusion in four phases.
Men in phase one of this destructive process tend to be younger and not very experienced in long-term relationships yet. What little he knows regarding these things are what he reads on web sites and what he observes from older people in his family. The attitude is something like this:
Somewhere out there is the Girl For Me™. I just need to be very Alpha, fuck a lot of sluts, and be very good at screening. Once we’re in a relationship, I need to not take any of her shit and take charge. Then we’ll be together forever, and it will be great. Sure, it will be some work, but I’m up to the challenge. I know it can be done. My uncle did it.
Mr. Naive then proceeds to get good at game, have sex with a few women, then get oneitis for one, get monogamous, and then move in or get married to her. After a brief NRE phase lasting one to four years, all the problems begin, drama ensues, possibly some cheating, then he gets divorced or breaks up.
Still seeking the Unicorn Woman who doesn’t exist, he is undaunted. He then enters phase two.
Phase two usually begins right after a man has had a bad breakup or divorce. He says something like this:
Wow, she was a bitch! Thank god I learned my lesson and won’t be with a woman like THAT again! The NEXT girl won’t be like that. She Won’t Be Like The Rest™. My NEXT wife (or girlfriend) will be sweet, kind, sexual, and loyal. Not like THAT fuckin’ bitch! Good thing I’ve upped my game and knowledge! That nightmare won’t happen to me again!
I’ve been amazed, stunned really, at the number of otherwise intelligent men I see, Alphas included, who go though a terrible divorce only to get married again a few years later the exact same way: fully monogamous, no prenup, with full expectations that This Time It Will Work™.
So many men do a “Howard Stern” after a bad breakup or divorce, declaring loudly to the world that marriage sucks, that they’ll never get married again, only to be married again just a few years later.
As I’ve discussed many times before, the divorce rates for second marriages are worse than first marriages, so invariably these men get divorced again (if they married) or go though a big dramatic breakup again (if they weren’t married).
Since he’s still on the mission of searching for Ms. Unicorn Woman, he keeps chugging along, only this time he often enters phase three. This is where things start getting complicated…
After having repeated problems with women because they aren’t Unicorn Woman, an Alpha often enters phase three. If you’ve been reading the manosphere for a while, phase three is going to sound very familiar:
All the women in <My Country> are fat, slutty, skanky, angry, trashy, feminist, gold digging whores. Dammit! I can’t marry any of these bitches! But in <New Country>, they’re all beautiful, skinny, feminine, submissive, loyal angels, just like women used to be back in the 1950s when everything was perfect. I’m going to move to New Country, because that’s where I’ll find Unicorn Woman. She certainly doesn’t live in My Country, because My Country sucks! Man, I can’t wait to get to New Country so I can find her and be happy!
New Country is usually some country in Eastern Europe, though sometimes it’s in Asia, and sometimes it’s simply a different country in the Western world (the US included). Every Alpha in phase three of this delusion has a different New Country where he’s excited to find Ms. Unicorn Woman. My Country can also vary widely, and it’s endlessly humorous to read one Alpha bitching about his My Country while another Alpha can’t wait to move there because it’s his New Country. Hilarious!
Before I lay into this insanity, I want to make two things clear:
1. I have said repeatedly that if you’re unhappy where you live, MOVE. Therefore, yes, if you hate the people in your country or city, you need to pack your shit and move. I congratulate men who have the balls to do this, since I see way too many men whine like babies about where they live, yet stay there with all the usual boo-hoo excuses about how they “can’t move.”
2. I completely agree that some cities are harder to get laid in than others. It’s easier to get laid in Miami or Rio than it is to get laid in San Francisco or Toronto. There’s no question about that. But I’m not talking about getting laid today. I’m talking about Guy-Disney, finding that Unicorn Woman who is Not Like The Rest™ and will Love You Forever™.
The problem is that Ms. Unicorn Woman doesn’t exist in My Country or New Country. She doesn’t exist at all. As I’ve been talking about forever, she’s biologically hard-wired to get sexually bored with you after a few years of living with you in a monogamous state. This is how she’s designed, and it doesn’t matter if she was born in Chicago, Kiev, or Bangkok.
Moreover, unless she lives in the Muslim Middle East, she lives in a society where she’s not only allowed to break up or divorce you whenever she wants, and for any reason she wants, but is actually pressured to do so from strong, modern-day Societal Programming regarding the Strong Independent Woman™.
Therefore, at some point, assuming the monogamous relationship lasts long enough, she’s going to either A) get bored with you and start restricting sex, or B) leave you / divorce you, or C) leave you / divorce you when she catches you cheating on her (which we both know you eventually will), or D) cheat on you. The odds are overwhelming that one of those four things are going to happen, no matter how sweet, submissive, feminine, or religious she is, or how great her upbringing was, or if her parents are still married, etc.
These factors are true if she lives in the USA, Spain, Norway, Ukraine, Romania, Argentina, the Philippines, or any other New Country you have in mind. Again, it might be easier to get laid in those places, so if your goal is to be a sex tourist and nothing else, then have at it. But there aren’t any Unicorn Women in these countries, because there aren’t any Unicorn Women anywhere.
Sadly, phase three isn’t the end. I see many Alphas on the quest for Ms. Unicorn Woman eventually enter phase four…
Phase four is where things get really depressing:
WTF? I moved to New Country and it was great for a while but now all the women here are are bitchy, feministy, trashy sluts too! God damn Apple and their fucking iPhones! Fucking left-wingers! Fucking consumer culture! They’ve even corrupted the women HERE too! NOW where the hell is my Unicorn Woman! How can I be happy? ARRRRGGHH!!
Phase four is the Alpha Male equivalent of the woman in her early to mid 50s who’s suddenly realized with horror that she’s wasted her entire life looking for a man who doesn’t exist. The guy in phase four is now angry and jaded beyond belief, and has no where to go. Many of these guys still think there are Unicorn Women, but that Western culture has transformed them all into slutty bitches. As I said above, they’re actually half right, in that Societal Programming is 50% of this problem. However, the other 50% is biology, and SP has nothing to do with that.
If you’re a man reading this, you’re my brother. I want you to be happy. I’m not trying to piss you off. I’m going to tell you exactly how to not waste your life looking for something that isn’t real, and to live a life full of masculine happiness.
1. Never get 100% sexually monogamous (unless you enjoy drama). Never promise absolute sexual monogamy to a woman (because you’ll cheat and she’ll find out) and never expect a woman to be monogamous (because she’ll eventually either leave, restrict sex, or cheat). Have a serious OLTR instead of a girlfriend, or have an OLTR marriage instead of a standard marriage.
2. Unless you’re already both over age 60, never emotionally expect any relationship to last “the rest of your life.” For people under 60, ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE TEMPORARY. Expecting something to last two or three years, or five years, or perhaps even 10 years is fine. Expecting it to last 45 years is Guy-Disney, and now you’re insane.
3. Never logistically or legally plan on a woman being around “the rest of your life.” It doesn’t matter how Alpha you are, we don’t live in that world any more. I’m sorry, but we just don’t. Never get legally married. If you can’t control yourself and get legally married anyway, make sure you make her sign an enforceable prenup, live in a region that actually enforces those, make sure she signs it at least six months before the wedding (12 months is better), have the signing witnessed by a judge, and keep your finances separate during the marriage. If you want kids, make sure you both sign and file a parenting plan before anyone gets pregnant.
4. Most importantly, realize that unicorns don’t exist. We make fun of women all the time for believing in fairy tale bullshit; we men must follow our own advice. There isn’t some perfect, forever loyal, forever sexual woman waiting for you just beyond the next hill, just beyond the next lay, or even beyond the ocean. In the real world, even the “perfect” woman for you, even a woman you love very much, is going to have some aspects to her you’ll strongly dislike. Moreover, she’ll be hard-coded with the eventually-get-bored-with-you behaviors whether you like it or not (never promising monogamy alleviates this though).
If you follow the above advice, you can still find happiness via pair bonding to a special girl; just do it in a way that is congruent to real-life realities.