There’s an important aspect of physical attraction I don’t see a lot of discussion about. This is the difference between being physically attracted to a woman’s body versus a woman’s face. I’m only talking about physical attraction here, not emotional or intellectual attraction which is a completely different animal.
Let’s get three things straight before we delve into this. All three of these points I have discussed in detail before.
1. Because of your individual genetics, personality, and upbringing, you have a particular “type” of woman you’re attracted to, and this type varies wildly from man to man.
2. You have a particular female body style you are attracted to over other styles. Once again, many men will disagree with you on which female body type is “most attractive.” I think super skinny, flat chested women are repulsive; yet other men think they’re super hot. I think a trim body, flat stomach, big boobs and big hips are super hot; many other men consider this “fat.” Et cetera.
3. For the above two reasons, the 1 to 10 hotness scale is near-useless when discussing large groups of men. Get ten random men together and show them some pictures of women, and you’ll get ten different opinions on what a “10” is or what a “7” is. You can have a personal 10 or a personal 7, but there is no objective 10 or 7. This is true even when accounting for biological factors like hip-to-bust ratio and facial symmetry. For example, you and I both love facial symmetry, but I promise my “10” is going to look different than your “10,” perhaps radically so, though both are likely to have fantastic facial symmetry.
Remember those three factors as we go on, because they’re important to this point. Going forward, whenever I use numbers like “10” or “7” to describe a woman, I’m describing personal 10s and 7s only, unless I state otherwise.
I’ve noticed that unlike a lot of other men, when I first see a woman, I look at her body first. When I decide her body is hot, only then I’ll look up to her face and see how attractive her face is. If her body is not hot (to me), her face is irrelevant. She could have the most beautiful face in the world, but if her body isn’t smokin’ (to me), I don’t care.
When women look at other women, or when most men look at women, it’s exactly the opposite. They look at the face first, and then immediately make a mental assessment of hot or not. If the face is hot, they’ll then look down to the body to see if it’s problematic enough to modify their original assessment. But unless there’s something seriously wrong with the body, they’ll still consider the woman “hot.”
I can’t speak for other men, but I can be easily won over by a woman with a 9 body and 7 face, perhaps even a 6 face, over a woman with a 10 face and 6 or 7 body. I could describe many examples of this. I’ll give you two.
Last year, I had sex with a young woman from Romania who had a face that most men would consider a 10, if not a high 9. Many guys would consider her body a 9 or 10 as well. I hated her body. She was a quintessential Skinny; skinny body, no boobs, no real butt, no real hips. However, her face and hair were ridiculously hot, and she could “present well” via the way she dressed and handled herself in public, so I went for it.
I loved kissing her. I loved holding her. And to be honest, I loved being seen with her. But I hated the sex. Seriously. I didn’t like it at all. Of course she was super hot from the neck up, and of course she felt good, but her body was so diametrically opposite to what I liked, I just didn’t like it. I tried to like it. Really, I did. I couldn’t.
Either she sensed this or I wasn’t her type as well. We didn’t last long, which was for the best.
On the flip side, several years ago I had an MLTR for about two years with a woman who had a very average face. I’d put it at about a 6, maybe a 7 on a good day. Other men may have considered her face a 5. However, her body was ultra amazing (to me). Flat, trim stomach. Prefect legs. Huge, perfectly-shaped, young, perky boobs. Huge, perfectly-shaped hips and ass. She also had thick, long hair which is always a plus. Yet, if you saw a picture of both of us sitting at a table (where you could not see her body), you may have wondered “WTF? Blackdragon is dating her? I thought he could do better. Maybe he’s not as good as he says.”
Didn’t matter. She was fantastic, we enjoyed each other thoroughly, and she ended up being the lowest-drama MLTR I’ve probably ever had. She turned me on something fierce, and I loved her to death.
This does not mean I can be won over by a “butterface,” a woman who has a fantastic body but an ugly face. I’ve never dated in ugly woman in my life. If she’s ugly, I’ll pass, and I don’t care how hot her body is. A girl I knew in high school looked like this. Her face looked like a mutated horse, but her body was like a perfectly curvy swimsuit model. My cock was very confused whenever I looked at her. Regardless, I could never have had sex with her.
This means that even though I consider the body more important than the face, there does exist a minimum baseline in my brain for facial hotness. This is probably about a 6; if her face is at least 6 but her body is a 9-10, I’ll probably go there. If her face is 5 or less, I’ll probably pass regardless of her body.
What about the other way around? What if there’s a woman who has a 9 or 10 face, but her body is not what I like? I’ve found that I have a “at least one or the other” rule. This means that if a woman has a really hot face, she needs to have either really good tits or a really good ass for me to consider her hot. At least one or the other. If her face is a 10/9/8, and she has a flat chest, but has an amazing huge ass, I’m there. If she has no ass but huge awesome boobs, again I’m there. If she has neither, I’ll probably pass, regardless of how hot her face is (unless the circumstances are unusual, like with the above Romanian girl).
At the moment, there’s a woman in my life who falls perfectly into this “at least one or the other” rule. Her face is a 10. Her ass is a 10. Her entire body is a 10…except that she has tiny A cup boobies, which to me is 1. That’s okay. She’s super hot and the sex is fantastic. She has “at least one.” I usually leave her shirt on during sex. She doesn’t mind, and it works out great. She has made a few jokes about me paying for her to get fake boobs (dream on, Darling), but if/when she finds a beta who does this for her at some point in the future, she’s going to be an all-around 10 (to me).
This is yet another reason why the 1 to 10 scale doesn’t work unless you’re talking about an all-around perfect 10. You say a girl is an “8.” Okay, but what exactly do you mean? Her face is an 8 but her body is a 6? Her body is a 9 but her face is a 7? Both her body and face are both, exactly an 8? (Very unlikely.) A single number doesn’t convey any of that pertinent information. It likely means you think she has an “8” face and isn’t fat. Fine, but that’s not nearly enough info for me to make an assessment.
Many men are like me in terms of this body-over-face desire and the “at least one or the other” rule, and I’m sure I’ll get agreement on this in the comments. But a lot of men aren’t like this at all. Moreover, women are almost never like this. All the time, when I point out a woman who I think is “super hot” to another woman, she’ll grimace and say “Ew! Her??? Gross!” (This is not a jealousy thing, because this happens with women I’m not having sex with, like co-workers or family members.)
Why? Because when women look at other women, they look at the face. They barely even see the body, at least at first. When women look at other women, they process things like a woman’s face, makeup, hair, earrings, skin, and all the other stuff I barely look see at first (because I’m too busy looking at her TITS). This is why women think celebrities like Jennifer Anniston or Milla Jovovich are super hot, yet men are too busy drooling over Kim Kardashian or Kate Upton to notice.
At this point you might be thinking something like:
Why not go for a woman who has a hot body AND a hot face? If you like big boobs and ass, why not go for a woman who has both? You’re the one always talking about abundance mentality!
The short answer is that I do, but very few women have this combination. Seriously, how many women walking around out there in the real world have a 10 body AND a 10 face? A few do, sure, but not many.
In my particular case, how many women out there have big boobs AND a big ass but who are not chubby? Again, not many. Granted, there are some. I’ve dated and had sex with a lot of women like that, and I’m a happy happy boy when I do (I have one in my life right now). Yet I have to be realistic about my expectations. Again, a woman with a super hot face and either boobs or a butt are very exciting for me. My happiness does not require perfection (and I hope yours doesn’t either).
This is to say nothing about non-physical aspects. Taking things a step further, how many women out in the real world are not chubby at all AND have big tits AND have a big ass AND are low-drama AND have their shit together? I think you get the point; we’re really narrowing down the percentages here.
Lastly, you’re forgetting I’m never completely sexually monogamous and never will be. Even if Girl A I’m with today doesn’t have a great ass, Girl B I’ll be seeing on Wednesday will, so no worries. I have it all, at all times. Requiring one individual partner to have “everything you could ever want” is a bullshit Disney desire and part of the monogamy paradigm. I’m not part of that world (thank god).
When you first see a woman, do you judge her appearance on her face or body first? (And please don’t say “both.” Remember, I’m talking about what you judge FIRST.)