This is 100% my fault.
It’s not my parents’ fault, my genetics’ fault, McDonald’s fault, or Monsanto’s fault. It’s also not because I’m over 40.
It’s because I occasionally choose to eat more calories than I burn. That’s why. It’s my fault. Everything in my life is my fault.
Most American women gain weight over time. It’s just what American women do. Not all of them, but most of them.
While I don’t believe it objectively, I follow a concept called Natural Law. This means, among other things, you own your own body 100%. That means if you choose to get fat, that’s fine. That’s your choice. It’s your body, not mine, not society’s, and not the government’s. If you want to eat noodles and burritos and ice-cream and gain 40 pounds, that’s completely your choice and I support your right to do it. It’s your body. Cool with me.
(And before you say it, no, I’m not going to get into the public healthcare debate today. “I have to control what you eat and care about your weight because I might have to pay for your healthcare!!!” Well, you shouldn’t have to pay for people’s healthcare. Under that system, healthcare becomes more expensive for no reason. But as I said, that’s a debate for another time, so please to don’t make any comments about the politics of this. That’s what my other blog is for.)
Here’s something else. Despite what I’ve said about women over 33 making men wait too long for sex in a dating environment (which is empirically correct by the way), I love women over 30 and over 40. Some of these women aren’t super skinny. Perfectly fine with me. I think older women can be, and often are, very beautiful and sexually attractive. I am not one of those manosphere guys who say as soon as a woman turns 30 she’s suddenly gross and no one wants her. I don’t agree with that at all, and never have.
However Darling, you need to be honest about WHY you’re getting fatter.
Whenever men correctly complain that American women are getting too fat, women get very upset, and respond with comments like these:
“Fuck you! I’ve had two children! Some of that weight doesn’t come off once you have babies! I’d like to see YOU have a bunch of babies come out of YOUR body and then stay skinny!!!”
“Excuse me Mr. Asshole, but hello, people gain weight as they get older. You can’t expect women to stay skinny in their late 40s and 50s!”
Let’s examine these two irrational, almost psychotic attempts made by women avoiding self-responsibility.
Just because you have a few babies does not mean you are forever forced to be overweight the rest of your life. I grant you that it does sometimes mean that you may have a little more flab on your lower stomach. It does sometimes mean that you have some stretch marks there too.
But it does not mean that now you’re suddenly 30 pounds heavier and are stuck with that extra 30 pounds forever just because you had a few babies.
If you are indeed 30 pounds heavier since you’ve had some babies, and are using that to explain your weight gain, then I’m sorry Darling, but you’re full of shit. You’re 30 pounds heavier because you’re eating more and exercising less. Blame your pregnancies all you want, but we all know you’re lying.
I’ll say it again just to be really clear: If you blame your stretch marks or slight increase in flab on your lower stomach from your pregnancies, then I agree with you and I’m not going to hold that against you. I can’t speak for other men, but I have never rejected a woman who was hot and trim because she had a little extra flab or stretch marks on her lower stomach. As long as she’s hot, and she’s more or less as skinny as she was before the babies, I’m very accepting of a few flaws.
I don’t expect women to be perfect. Plus, I never get monogamous, so even if you become my girlfriend (an OLTR) I’ll still be able to get some perfect-bodied women on the side when I need to. So unlike those men seeking monogamy, I don’t require you to be perfect. Isn’t that nice? (And yes Darling, you can get some perfect-bodied men on the side if you need to also; I’m not threatened by other men and fair is fair.)
But if you have a baby or two and gain 20, 30 pounds or more, and don’t lose it, then I’m sorry, but you’ve CHOSEN to do this. You’re just stuffing your face with more food, and using your pregnancies as a convenient scapegoat. And we all know you’re doing this. You’re not fooling anyone.
So any time you hear a woman blaming her noticeable weight gain on the fact she had babies a few years ago, remind her that she’s lying. Because she is.
Now let’s deal with the getting older thing. Women will often scream that you can’t blame them for getting fatter as they get older. “Everyone” gets fatter as they get older, these women say (or imply).
Many other women will imply that by complaining women get fatter, you are blaming “older women” in general. They will imply or say that you “hate” older women. Because again, to these women, old = fat.
This goes to the statement I’ve said many times:
Aging is inevitable, but fat is a choice.
I have had sex with women over 40 and even over 50(!). These women were pretty, but had plenty of signs of age, like a few wrinkles and whatnot. I have never, ever, turned down a woman because she had some signs of age…as long as she was still decently pretty and wasn’t fat.
Aging is one of those few things in life which is out of your direct control. Sure, you can age well or age badly, and that’s up to you, but your numerical age isn’t something you can control, and as you age you will have some signs of aging no matter how well you do. As a 43 year-old man, I relate to this personally.
So I will never blame a non-fat “older” woman for being older. That’s perfectly fine.
But if she’s older and clearly overweight? Well, that’s a different story. Aging is outside of her control, but her weight is directly within her control. If she’s fat, that’s her choice. And I can choose to avoid having sex with her for that reason. (Not her age!)
If you’re a woman who was skinny in her 20s and is now overweight in your 30s or 40s, you made that choice. You choose to gain that weight and not lose it. If you wanted to lose it, you could, just like this woman here.
I know TONS of American women who were skinny when they were 20, but turned fat by the time they were 26, with no kids. Can a 26-year-old woman be categorized as an “older woman?” Really? Or did these women simply make a choice?
I know TONS of women, not just one or two, but TONS, who are well over 30 and over 40, who’ve had kids, and who are still skinny. How do you explain this if babies = fat and older = fat?
If you fly to certain countries in South America, you will notice that most of the over-30 and over-40 women are still skinny. This is even accounting for the fact that Hispanic women have more body fat than white women (!). How do you explain this if older = fat?
Yet I know TONS of American women who were skinny when they were in their 20s, and are now over 30 or over 40 and are clearly overweight. Because they’re choosing to eat more crap.
And again, that’s fine. It’s your body. Eat that pizza and get as fat as you like. But don’t lie to me about how it’s because “you’ve had kids” or because “you’re older.” Those aren’t the reasons, Darling. And you know it.
Aging is inevitable, but fat is a choice.