Single mother has a small child.
Single mother has all kinds of life chaos because she has a small child.
When you ask single mother why she had a child when she clearly wasn’t planning on it, wasn’t financially ready for it, and in many cases wasn’t mature enough to handle it, her answer usually is (say it with me):
“It was an accident.”
Was it really?
When a woman has a baby, that means she made a total of as many as six conscious decisions to have that baby, even if she tells everyone it was an “accident.”
Let us count the ways:
Conscious Decision Number One: She voluntarily chose to have sex while not taking any birth control.
Conscious Decision Number Two: She voluntarily chose to have sex with a man not wearing a condom.
Conscious Decision Number Three: If he actually came inside her, she voluntarily chose to not take the Plan B pill the next day. (And please don’t tell me Plan B pills are too expensive. Planned Parenthood, one of many examples, practically hands those things out for free for lower-income women.)
Conscious Decision Number Four: She voluntarily chose to not give herself regular pregnancy tests while having unprotected sex. (I would if I was a woman, even if I didn’t think I was pregnant.)
Conscious Decision Number Five: When she discovered she was pregnant, she chose to not get an abortion.
Conscious Decision Number Six: When the baby came out, she chose to not give it up for adoption.
There you go. Most women having babies “by accident” are actually choosing to have these babies, not once, but as many as six friggin’ times.
Are those some objections I hear? Yet more protestations about how it Wasn’t Your Fault™? Okay! Let’s destroy them!
“I would never give my baby up for adoption!!! How horrible for you to even say that!” Okay, but then you’re proving my point. You’d rather choose to have and keep the baby. Yeah, that’s my point here. YOU CHOOSE.
“I don’t believe in abortion. I think it’s morally wrong.” See above. You’re proving my point by saying that.
“Well maybe he was wearing the condom and it broke!” Okay, that eliminates decision number two. What about the other five decisions?
“What if she was raped and then got pregnant from the rapist?!?” Okay, that eliminates decisions one and two. What about the other four decisions?
“How would she know to take the Plan B pill the next day if she was drunk and didn’t know she had sex?!?” Okay, that eliminates decisions number two and three. What about the other four decisions? And by the way, she chose to have sex while drunk, or at least get drunk while hanging out with a hot guy she really likes, knowing what would probably happen. Chalk that up as another conscious decision.
I can do this all day, folks. Make all the excuses you want. Personal responsibility and cause and effect still exist. She chose to have that baby. Everything in your life is your fault, and that applies to that stressed-out single mother over there. That little kid didn’t appear out of thin air because she’s an innocent victim and Dumbledore waved his magic Wand of Child Summoning, and “poof” the baby appeared in her arms. That baby is there because of her actions and conscious decisions.
It’s very hard for people to understand that in a world of condoms, 11 forms of female birth control, Plan B pills, and abortion, there is no such thing as an accidental birth. Any woman who has a baby CHOSE to have that baby.
This isn’t the 1800s.
So any time a woman says she had her child by accident, I’m really sorry, but she’s full of it. She chose to have that baby. Likely several times.
The Flip Side
I have noticed that it’s become “cool’ in some younger women circles these days for women to brag about how they “never want any kids.” They’re full of it too. Just watch. By the time they’re about 35, they’ll have at least one kid. And it’s quite likely they’ll go around telling everyone it was an “accident,” when if course it was not.
I personally know a small percentage of women who literally never want to have kids. You know how I know they’re serious? Because they never have kids. Here’s what they do:
1. They’re militant about birth control. They are ALWAYS on it. ALWAYS. Even if they’re never having sex, even if they’re having financial problems, they’re still on that birth control, no excuses, come hell or high water. Because they’re terrified of having kids.
2. They take good birth control, not the stupid kinds. If their doctor recommends birth control pills, these women say, “No. I might not remember to take those every day. Give me something better.” And they get it. Because they don’t want kids.
3. They do not have sex while drunk. They know that drunk sex too often equals pregnancy. They are very careful about this.
4. They are militant about pregnancy tests. Just like me, these women have several pregnancy tests in their bathrooms at all times, ready to go. If they are ever in doubt, they pee on that stick and get the real info, fast. They don’t play the ignorance card like their single mother girlfriends: “Well I would have gotten an abortion, but I didn’t find out until it was too late! Oh darn!”
5. If they actually do get pregnant by accident, which is rare but does happen, they immediately, and I mean immediately, whip out their phone, make an appointment to get an abortion, and go. They don’t act like most women in this circumstance, who sit around, cry, wring their hands, wonder “Oh gee what do I do???” and ask their mom and their girlfriends for opinions. Nope. They don’t give a shit what their friends, mom, or people at church think. They get that abortion ASAP. If their friends or family don’t like it, fuck ’em. These women don’t want kids. Period. So they don’t have any.
My point is that the women who really and truly never want kids (and that’s a very, very tiny percentage of women in the world) really and truly never have kids. Never having kids is not that difficult with today’s inexpensive (and often free) medical options. The women who have kids, even if they say it’s “by accident,” want those kids, and chose to have them.
Now just TRY to tell me I’m wrong about this. Ohhhhh I can’t wait…