I have said before that being in platonic friend zone with a woman you want to have sex with is one of the worst places for you to be. It damages your self esteem and outcome independence. It increases your scarcity mentality, neediness, and sexual frustration. It’s a great deal for her, since she gets all the validation she craves from you. It’s a horrible deal for you, since you don’t get any sex, which is what you crave from her, whether you admit that about yourself or not. True, you get friendship, but you can get that from men and/or ugly or too-old women you have no desire to have sex with, and thus experience none of the above problems.
I am now going to show you a ghastly representation of what friend zone really is, and how women view this one-sided and abusive relationship. It’s from an article here, and you’d better make sure you have a strong stomach before reading it. It’s written by a woman laying out the 14 reasons why having a platonic guy friend is better than having a boyfriend. This woman is not an outlier. Many of the points are ones I’ve seen repeated by many other women over the many years I’ve been discussing these topics. I’ll discuss the highlights.
He’ll honestly tell you what that dress looks like on you.
Someone who is trying to get in your pants will never be completely honest about how the pants actually look on you.
Whether your ass looks absolutely fantastic or like a pancake, your male best friend has no reason to lie to you.
This is a classic example of women not understanding how men work (or perhaps knowing it while secretly denying it).
Listen to me very closely: If you’re a woman and you have a platonic guy friend, he wants to have sex with you. (Unless he’s gay.)
When you say that, women explode with defensiveness. “No he doesn’t! No he doesn’t! We’re just friends! He likes me for me!”
Wrong. He may also “like you for you,” but he still wants to have sex with you. Tom Leykis actually did a bit on his old radio show where he would conference call in a doubting woman and her platonic male friend, and ask the guy flat-out, “Do you want to have sex with her?” Every time the guy would say yes, to the shock and horror of the woman.
So because your pussy, beta, platonic guy friend wants to have sex with you whether you admit it or not, he has all kinds of reasons to lie to you about how you look just like any other bastard of the male persuasion. Thinking you’re actually going to get objective feedback regarding your physical appearance from your horny, non-gay, platonic guy friend is woman logic in the extreme.
I love to be wined and dined as much as the next girl, but certain unavoidable limitations arise when you know your date is paying for your meal.
Just to be clear, by “certain limitations,” I mean I can’t order the $50 steak I want without looking like a total douchebag.
If my best friend is paying for my meal, it is only because I left my wallet at home and I’m paying for his the next time we go out.
Are you 100% sure about that, Darling?
If I invisibly followed you around with a clipboard and tracked the exact number of times your friend zone orbiter bought you food or drinks and you never paid him back, do you really, honestly think it would be zero?
We both know the real answer.
You can be disgusting in front of him.
I could not care less whether or not my best friend wants to boink me. In fact, I would prefer he didn’t want to boink me at all.
With this understanding of mutual un-attraction, we are free to do gross things, like burp and fart and talk with our mouths filled to the brim.
She still thinks he doesn’t want to have sex with her. But whatever, does that sound fun to you, gentlemen? Do you like being around a woman who “could not care less if you want to boink her?” Do you like hanging around women you want to have sex with who fart and burp and talk with their mouths full, while behaving like pretty ladies with the other men they hang out with they actually want to fuck?
Oh yeah. Sounds like a great deal for the guy, doesn’t it?
Now, for the most delusional and insane of them all; something she’s already said twice but is now going to triple-down on; something that sums up the entire friend zone concept for women:
He genuinely likes you for your awesome personality.
It’s not your awesome rack or fantastic smile that interests him, it’s just you.
Your relationship with your guy best friend has an inherent level of depth because it has nothing to do with physical attraction or appearance. He genuinely loves you because of your character.
Oh, dear. Sorry about that. Ahem. Okay. I’ll try to continue without laughing. It’s going to be tough, but I’ll try.
Ha. Heh heh.
You know, there are times where I honestly have to wonder. When women proudly say such ass-backward, obviously false things like this with such confidence, do they really believe it? Do they indeed delude themselves so thoroughly as to think black is white and up is down? Or are they just putting on this false front to look cool to themselves and to their girlfriends? (Considering they look like morons to us when they say these things.)
Honestly, I don’t know. But either way, it’s sad as it is pathetic, both for the men in these abusive relationships and the women living their entire lives in a self-delusional, “he doesn’t care about my rack” la-la land. How many millions of women out there with drooling, friend zone man-wimps really think that men have the ability to shut off their hard-wired sexual desires just because they’re “friends?”
The cognitive dissonance is simply stunning.
By the way, I use the word “friends” here in the loosest possible sense. It would be more accurate to describe it as a parasite/host relationship.
Want some more? Okay! Let’s get to another way she abuses you if you’re dumb enough to be in her friend zone:
You don’t have to worry about annoying him.
If your boyfriend doesn’t respond to a “get up, let’s get breakfast” text, you might hesitate to call him 37 times and finally resolve to show up at his front door to physically wake him up yourself for fear that he might think you’re crazy and obsessed with him and be left with no choice but to dump you.
As mentioned earlier, your best friend does not have the luxury of dumping you when you annoy the sh*t out of him.
Isn’t that nice? She can happily harass you, “annoy the shit out of you,” and she knows you’ll put up with her abuse because you’re her little puppy dog who will obey even if repeatedly slapped.
Does this sound like a mutually beneficial relationship to you? What do you get out of it you can’t get from a guy buddy? Honestly.
Or does it sound like, yet again, a great deal for her and a raw deal for you? Especially when you compare it to the guy in her life she’s actually having sex with.
You don’t have to buy him gifts for random bullsh*t holidays.
From Valentine’s Day to the one-month anniversary of the day you started dating to the four-month anniversary of the day you first kissed to the five-month anniversary of the day you first met, relationships are filled with plenty of bullsh*t holidays for which you are forced to come up with sweet, thoughtful gifts.
There is one holiday that forces you to buy a gift for your male best friend, and that is his birthday. No need to slave over a cute little scrapbook or heartfelt letter; just buy him a gift card or a bottle of his favorite liquor and you should be good to go.
I don’t ever expect women I’m dating to buy me gifts, but that’s not the point. Again, she accurately demonstrates how she treats the man (or men) she’s having sex with much, much better than she treats you, her slobbering little puppy dog. Doesn’t that make you feel special?
As mentioned earlier, your male best friend is not interested in your rack.
Ha ha! Ha! <cough! choke!>
Oh my. There she goes again.
Uh huh. That’s right, genius. Your non-gay platonic MAN friend has zero interest in your tits whatsoever. He wants all other women’s tits, but not yours. Yeah. Um hm. No please, continue with your Solomon-like wisdom.
He’s also probably well aware you guys have a 0 percent chance of having sex tonight. This gives him no choice but to listen to what you have to say.
Read that one again. Seriously, read it again.
At the start of this article, when I said this was an abusive relationship, did you doubt me? Did you think something like, “Oh c’mon BD. Friend zone isn’t abusive. You’re overstating it.”
If you thought that, do you still think that after reading the above quote? Really?
Do you want some more?
“Watch a movie” takes on a whole new meaning when it involves my male best friend, as I can pick a movie I want to see and, get this, see it.
Furthermore, I can do it in the comfort of my ugliest sweats and both my retainers in without any sort of sensual thigh rubbing to distract me.
She gets to watch the movie SHE wants, and the guy friend, well, if he doesn’t like it, that’s his tough shit. Her company should be reward enough.
You never have to feel self-conscious about your body.
No matter how confident we are with our bodies, we all have those “f*ck! I forgot to shave!” and “ugh please don’t touch me there” moments when with our significant others.
Your best friendship, free from any sort of physical attraction to begin with, automatically marks all of these insecurities as null and void.
Again she looks like shit when she’s around you, but looks like a perfect sexual princess when she’s around the guy she’s having sex with, or at least wants to have sex with, which isn’t you. And she still repeats the bullshit that you don’t want to fuck her, which of course you know you do.
Again I ask, does this sound like a good deal for you? How is this relationship not abusive?
1. Never agree to friend zone with a woman you’re attracted to even a little bit. Friend zone should only be for A) other men and B) women who are so ugly or old that you would never consider having sex with them.
Because I know someone will try to bring this up in the comments, the one exception to this rule is if you have a platonic female friend you use as a wingman or a pivot who actually gets you laid. That does not mean she introduces you to other hot girls. That’s not getting laid. Getting you laid means she regularly brings women into your life whom you put your penis inside. Too many guys try to give me the excuse by saying they have a hot, platonic female friend whom they use to meet other women. Bullshit! It only matters if you’re actually having SEX with these other women. And we both know you aren’t.
2. Feel free to educate women to the two realities they deny. A) Her friend zone guy DOES want to have sex with her, likely very badly, regardless of how strongly she denies it or how much the prospect damages her fragile ego. B) Platonic friend zone is an abusive, one-sided relationship where she receives far, far more benefit than the man does, and the man suffers sexual frustration where she does not.
Friend zone. Don’t do it.