Just when you thought marriage couldn’t get any more ridiculous, a recent study has shown the following:
– Spending more than $2000 on your engagement ring increases the odds of divorce by 30%. Assuming you’re dumb enough to get monogamously married, remember that when your sweet little angel who is Not Like The Rest™ demands an expensive ring. “Oh come on! You can afford it! I thought you loved me!”
– Spending more than $20,000 on your wedding increases the odds of divorce by almost 60%. Spending that much money increases your odds of divorce by 3.5 times over people who spend less than $10,000 on their wedding. Spending less than $1,000 gives you slightly decreased odds of divorce over any other spending option.
So again, you shouldn’t get legally married anyway, but regardless, be very wary of any woman who demands an expensive wedding, even if you’re not paying for it. “I want the wedding I always wanted since I was a little girl! It’s the most important day of my life! Come on! My parents will help pay for some if it!”
– The more money you make, the less your odds are for divorce, across all income categories. (Hey! You capitalism haters! Still think “money doesn’t matter?” Hmmmmm? I’ll say it yet again: the more money people make, the more happy they tend to be.)
– The more you care about your partner’s looks, the higher your odds are for a divorce. This includes, oh I don’t know, about 99% of the men reading these words. (No wonder divorce rates are so high.)
This goes back to my original contention, based on numerous statistics and studies, that the only people who have the best odds of making long-term monogamy work are two boring, low-sex drive people who marry each other. These people aren’t likely to be very good looking, and not place a very high value on physical appearance.
If you monogamously marry some super hot chick, get ready for a divorce or cheating (or both) down the road. You can almost set your watch to it.
– The more people who show up at your wedding, the lower your odds are of a divorce. That’s an interesting one, especially considering the more money you spend on a wedding the higher your odds are for a divorce.
My guess here is that if 200+ people are showing up at your wedding, then the family-based Societal Programming and pressure to stay married forever is enormous. Even when you cheat (which one of you eventually will) you’re probably more likely to stick it out in forever drama-mode than actually get a divorce, like those South Americans and southern Europeans. “He’s such an asshole! But I can’t get a divorce! What would my parents think?”
– Having a honeymoon decreases the odds of a divorce. Very interesting.
The theory in the study is that this honeymoon decrease is simply because wealthier people can afford to go on nice honeymoons, and the more money you make the less your odds are for a divorce. That likely makes this honeymoon thing correlation more than causation.
It’s not all roses and unicorns if you’re rich though. Statistics show that your wife is more likely to cheat on you if you’re worth $1 million or more. And that’s to say nothing about YOU cheating, which as an Alpha Male, you eventually will assuming the marriage lasts long enough. (Please spare me the bullshit and don’t tell me you’ll “never” cheat on her. Jesus.)
So once again, we’re back to “the cheating marriage that never ends” rather than “the “divorce.” Neither of which is sexual monogamy (because long-term monogamy doesn’t work).
The actual scientific study can be downloaded here and makes for some interesting reading.
The Alternative To A Typical, Societal Wedding
I’m about to say something that may shock some of you. I think weddings are fine. Enjoyable even. Seriously. I have no problem with them whatsoever (provided the couple can easily afford it of course). I’m against legal marriage and absolute sexual monogamy that is expected to last longer than three years. I’m not against being in love, weddings, having kids, or moving in together. Those things are all wonderful, and none of them require legal marriage or sexual monogamy.
I talk about Harry Browne’s concept of the Unmarriage in my Alpha Male 2.0 book. It means getting married without actually making it legal. In terms of a wedding, here’s how you do it:
1. Pay an attorney a few hundred bucks and have him write up a co-habitation agreement for you and her. Make sure by the time you leave his office, you fully understand all of the co-habitation and palimony laws in your city.
2. Sign it with her in the presence of a notary. Your bank will likely provide notary services for free.
3. Have a wedding. Make it as nice as you want without going crazy. The younger she is, the more likely she’ll have some extravagant Disney fantasies about how big and fancy the wedding should be, so this is one of the few times having an Unmarriage or OLTR Marriage with an older women will be of benefit. When it comes to fairy tale weddings, if she’s 37 she’ll likely have a “been there done that” attitude or a “I’m a strong woman I don’t need that” attitude, which is good news for you. But if she’s 23 with sparkles in her eyes, get ready to argue with her about all the expensive and crazy bullshit she’ll want for her Cinderella wedding. All you guys wanting to marry a hot younger woman, beware.
4. The only thing you don’t do during the wedding is actually sign a marriage license. You skip that part completely. So after the wedding, you’re “married,” but not legally.
5. Move in with her under the auspices of the co-habitation agreement she signed. Now you’re covered. When the “marriage” ends, which it eventually will (unless you’re both over 60, don’t plan on a marriage lasting “forever” in today’s modern era, just like with a career), then she leaves and gets nothing (unless you have kids with her, in which case you’ll pay child support, which you should). The point is, your finances are protected. No divorce, no legal battle, no alimony, none of her “getting half,” or any of that garbage.
6. If you’re smart, make it an OLTR marriage by keeping the marriage open at least to some degree. That means you’re both allowed to get a little on the side within whatever ground rules you both agree to.
If you’re not smart (or if you’re needy or delusional), then get monogamous, and after a brief period of NRE, be prepared for drama, cheating, and her not wanting to have sex with you anymore. Yay! Good luck with that. (But hey, at least you still aren’t legally married.)
Congratulations on your new OLTR Unmarriage! (I hope…)