A reader emailed this question recently:
Lots of college women are accusing men of rape just because they had consensual sex and then regretted it later, or because they had consensual sex when they had been drinking, etc. Do you think that a college man should treat the risk of being accused of rape in this way (i.e., resulting from consensual sex) as falling into your less-than-2%-category? Or does the risk justify a college man changing his lifestyle, such as by sleeping with only non-college women, etc.?
I have purposely not commented on all of this insane college stuff lately (the Yes Means Yes law, et al) since it’s just another step on the downward ladder to Western civilization’s collapse, that in many respects has already happened. All of this silliness is entirely predictable and I’m not sure why anyone is surprised when the politically correct left-wingers who already dominate society pass laws like this. Get ready for much, much more of this kind of thing over the new few decades. This is only the tip of the iceberg.
I am also not going to get into a discussion about actual rape or the definition of rape. I’ve already covered that in great detail right here.
Regardless, his question is not about sexual politics but rather about applicable technique, and that I will happily talk about.
I can’t give anyone advice about specifically having sex with women while in college, since I myself didn’t go to college, think college is a horrible idea these days, and strongly believe there are better paths to success for young men. My best advice regarding sex at college is to not go to college in the first place, and instead follow the advice in the free ebook linked in the prior sentence. If you want to experience the party atmosphere of college, then fine. Don’t go to college, get an entry-level growth job, and then go live near a college and go hang out with college people and go to college parties. There you go! All the party benefits of college without paying a ridiculously inflated tuition for a near-useless degree. This really isn’t rocket science, folks.
But, if you’re already in college right now, then I guess that ship has sailed.
What I can give advice about is sex with new women in the context of areas I have extensive experience in, namely online dating, social circle game, and to a lesser degree, daygame. I have had sex with a lot of women, and my average meet-to-sex time with a new women these days is about three hours. Yet I have never in my entire life been accused of rape or any other sexual assault, falsely or otherwise. This is because I use a dating system that avoids these kinds of circumstances in the first place.
Here’s how you can avoid this kind of unpleasantness while still getting to sex very quickly with new women. The points below are not listed in any particular order.
1. Don’t do SNLs. Go for second-date sex instead. An SNL in pickup parlance is Single Night Lay. This means you meet a woman you’ve never met before and have sex with her in that very same meeting. As most of you already know, I don’t do this. Instead I follow a two-date system. One first date that lasts an hour, then a second date where she comes to my house and we have sex. The combined time for both dates is usually less than four hours, often less than three.
I hate to say this, but a false rape accusation (FRA) is more likely if you do SNLs (one-date-lays) than if you have sex on the second date. If you have sex with a woman on the second date, there is less buyer’s remorse on her part and the odds of an ongoing FB or MLTR relationship are higher. This is win/win all around if you’re a Pleasure of Sex man. If you’re a Thrill of the Hunt man, this won’t be very fun for you, but if you’re trying to avoid FRA then I don’t have any easy answers for you.
Let me re-iterate that just because you have sex on date two doesn’t mean you’re spending 10 or 15 hours to get to sex like a beta male. A one-hour first date and a two or three-hour second date is all you need. I say this because there are still some Thrill of the Hunt PUA guys out there who think having sex on the second date “isn’t game” or something. You can still have very fast sex while avoiding potential FRA.
2. Dial back the “player” vibe by about 15%. Being too much “player” is still a huge problem with a large number of guys and I get emails about this constantly. I’ve already talked about this in detail here. If your vibe and EFA are 100% player, an FRA is more likely. As always, the ideal combination for fast sex with minimal drama and high odds of ongoing relationships is 85% player, 15% provider/nice guy. Not 100% player.
3. Don’t do ONSs. ONS is a One Night Stand. This means you have sex with her one time then she never sees you again. It should go without saying that going around and doing this often raises the odds of a FRA.
I have never ONSed a woman in my entire life. Every woman I have sex with, and yes I mean every one of them, I want to be having sex with (theoretically) for the rest of my life, at least in an off-and-on capacity as an FB or MLTR. So I don’t do ONSs. I’ve certainly had a few women ONS me (women pump and dump Alpha Males all the time, particularly women cheating on boyfriends or husbands), but I’ve never ONSed a woman. I don’t see the point. If she’s hot and I enjoyed the sex, why would I not have sex with her again?
But that’s me. If you’re a Thrill of the Hunt guy, you probably love ONSs and prefer them. So once again, I have no easy answers for you, other than to have sex with her another one or two times and then move on. I don’t do this but this might work for you.
4. Don’t have sex with a woman for the first time if she’s been drinking. Of course this eliminates most women you meet via night game almost completely, but I’m not talking about night game here. True stat from my life: over 95% of the women I’ve had sex with were completely sober the first time we had sex. Having sex with a woman for the first time while she’s drunk raises the odds of an FRA considerably in this feministy, left-wing, politically correct, hyper-litigious society we currently find ourselves in.
Once you’re dating her and she’s a regular presence in your life, then have all the drunk sex you want; that’s perfectly fine. But when having sex with her the first time? Make sure she’s sober. I personally would rather get shot down by a sober woman than have sex with a tipsy woman and get an FRA the next morning.
5. Contact her quickly the next day or morning after the sex. Be nice. There is an irrational, biological fear women have of men leaving them right after first-time sex. This fear is at its highest point the morning after she has sex with a new man.
To allay this fear, send her a very nice text the very next morning after you hook up. Take two or three minutes and be very sweet and very beta. If you plan on seeing her again, tell her right then and there, and make plans to meet up again. Make it clear to her that you do want to see her again.
I have no stats to back this up, but I’m quite convinced that the longer the time between the first-time sex, the lower the odds of an FRA. If she’s confident you want to see her again, the odds of an FRA are spectacularly low.
Doing It Wrong
I’m going to get real for a minute. I’ve seen a lot of these FRAs in the news, and they always involve most or all of the following components:
- First-time sex.
- Alcohol was involved.
- The first-time sex was a single night lay and/or a one night stand.
- The next day the guy doesn’t contact her, or ignores her contact, or contacts her in a snarky way, or gets into an argument with her.
- Guy had a 100% player vibe, or at least had a vibe utterly devoid of provider (which is quintessential college-party sex).
Basically the opposite of everything we’ve been talking about above. Think about it. Think back through the last several FRA cases you’ve heard of either in your own life and in the news. Now look at the above list and tell me at least three of the above items didn’t apply. I bet they did. I can’t remember a single FRA case I’ve ever heard of where that wasn’t the case (though statistically I’m sure they exist; as always there are rare exceptions to every rule).
I think the implication in some of the MRA or manosphere is that women are stupid, evil bitches looking to throw guys in jail and trying to rope guys into situations where they can falsely accuse rape. That’s a huge oversimplification and is usually untrue.
What is going on is that men are not realizing that the era of sex without consequences is long gone and that this isn’t the 1970s any more. In our current left-leaning, politically correct, social justice society, you can’t just hook up with a drunk girl at a party without incurring at least some risk. Most guys, particularly younger guys, don’t realize this. These days, you really do need to stop and think before you use your cock.
Hey, I don’t like it any more than you do, but that’s the reality. As I’ve said many times on this blog, society has made its choice. You don’t have to agree with it but you do have to acknowledge it and adjust accordingly or suffer the consequences (or chuck it all and move to the third world).
Fortunately, all you need to do is adjust things a little based on the five techniques I listed above, none of which are difficult to do. Then you can have fast sex with all the women you like and you’ll never have a problem.