Today I’m going to talk to my younger brothers, those men in their 20s. If you’re older than this, you can take the day off if you wish.
In a recent post, John, a 29 year-old, made a comment that I thought was interesting enough to elaborate on. In it, he describes many concerns many men in their 20s have these days.
As always when I give advice, I will be brutal and blunt when I need to be, but I will tell you what honestly needs to be done, from real-life experience. I too used to be young and poor. I too had to look for financial success in a down economy; the early 90s when all the downsizing and layoffs were occurring, years before the economy picked up later during the dot com boom. I too had to learn how to be good with women when I was an unattractive beta with zero seduction skills.
All the advice I give in these areas are things I did myself. They work.
I admit, I am one of those guys who lacks faith in getting laid because of my station in life currently, despite the fact I was able to get laid before. Let me give you some background: In my past, this last year actually, I worked a crap job as a housekeeper making minimum wage, and living with two, lazy, nasty roommates.
Shit jobs are part of the deal in terms of your financial growth and success. There is no avoiding them unless you were born into a wealthy family.
My first “real” job was doing minimum-wage (or close to it) data entry for a large hospital chain. I would sit for 6 – 8 hours in a hot, crowded room with a bunch of old fat women, each one of us in a little desk like in school. With my right hand, I would type numbers into a ten-key, and with my left hand, I would pull carbon-copy papers off a large stack. For hours on end, that’s all I did; stare at carbon paper and punch numbers into a ten-key machine. It wasn’t manual labor like digging ditches, but it still really sucked ass. I almost would have rather digged ditches; at least that’s exercise.
I’ve noticed that a lot of young, inexperienced guys these days get pissed off and complain a lot when they can’t find an “awesome” or “fun” or “respectful” job for their first “real” job. I’m not saying John is like this, I’m just speaking in general.
Lesson number one: Your first real job, perhaps your first few, will SUCK ASS, and there’s nothing you can do about this.
Don’t complain. Put your head down and get it done, while still looking for better jobs or researching starting your own business so you can increase your income later and as fast as possible.
There’s nothing wrong with working shit jobs. The only wrong there is if you work them forever. You have to start somewhere.
I have a college degree in History, and am almost done with my Masters.
Oh dear. Now we come to John’s first big life mistake. A mistake repeated by millions of young men everywhere. A mistake he will deeply regret many years later.
As I have said numerous times, unless you’re going to be an attorney or doctor, going to college is an insane idea for most Americans. Wasting years of your prime time when you could be making money and learning real skills, going $30K, $50K, or $80K into debt to learn things that you’ll never use, to get a low-income job that will be insufficient to pay off that huge loan…good lord, it’s the height of insanity.
Instead, set some goals, make some plans, read some good books, and get into the work world as fast as you can and learn what you need on the job, as I describe right here in my free ebook on the subject.
John not only went to college, but doubled down on that mistake by majoring in history. What high-paying job was he likely to get with a degree like that? He then triples down on his mistake by going after not just a bachelors degree, but a going into extra debt and wasting extra time by getting a masters degree. In a near-useless topic with little prospect for a high-paying job. Yikes.
John mentions that he paid most of his debt. Good. He still made a huge mistake by wasting many years of his prime time youth though. How much money could he have been making during the 4-6 years his masters consumed? How much better would his resume look now? How further ahead in his career could he have been?
Millions of young American men are making this mistake. Don’t do it. I don’t care what your parents and friends say; don’t fall for the false Societal Programming surrounding the greatness of college. If you live in quasi-socialist Europe where the government forces taxpayers at gunpoint to pay for your useless degree, then I have less of a problem with it, but you American men need to heed this:
Lesson Two: If you live in the US, stay the hell away from college unless you are going in order to get a virtually guaranteed high-paying job that will quickly pay down the debt you incur, like a doctor or attorney.
I had several job offers when I graduated years ago, but they all disappeared when the economy crashed, so I’m stuck doing crap jobs.
I talk more about this in my upcoming Alpha Male 2.0 book, but back in October of 2008 I lost 60% of my income from my largest business within 90 days because of the economic crash. To recover, I indeed had to do a lot of “shit work” that I didn’t want to do. It sucked and I hated it. But I did it. Now I’m okay again.
Because of our utterly insane monetarist fiscal policies and addiction to big government and debt, we experience a major recession at least every 10 years. Plan on this. Prepare for this. When it happens, suck it up and get through the shit work as fast as you can.
Lesson Three: Plan in advance on regular recessions occurring, and suck it up and put in the shit work when they do happen.
It might also help to stop voting for the Democrats and Republicans who keep causing these problems, but that’s a topic for another time.
I am not super good looking, I am about average in looks. I am tall, super skinny, and nerdy as all hell with glasses. But still, I was able to get laid. Earlier this year, right after my last GF left me with a bad excuse, I managed to get 3 FBs on a regular basis. They were not the best looking, maybe around 6 and 7s, but they were good, we got along great, and we had lots of sex. Not bad for a guy who worked a crap job and lived with crap roommates. That was because I had confidence, I met them all online, and I just went for it.
Good work. I too am average looking and I too get laid a lot via online game. That’s what confidence, outcome independence, seduction skill, and hard work putting in the numbers does.
Now, I live with my parents, my bank account is trash because my last boss screwed me over, my credit is good because I paid off my loans and car on time. I still clean, but for someone else. I currently have a GF, and I’m not here to debate about that, but if her and I do break up, or even if we decide to sleep with other people, I live with my parents. Honestly, what woman would sleep with a 29 year old guy who lives with his parents? I’m surprised my GF sleeps with me right now.
I doubt very much that John would have surrendered to monogamy if he knew he had the confidence to quickly get other women. That’s who monogamy is for: men who can’t get laid, or for men like John who think they can’t get laid.
Ironically, John made this comment on the post I made about the homeless guy who gets laid left and right. I made very clear in that post what I think about the above excuse John is making, and my hatred for it. Go read that post to see what I have to say about that. Also read this post right here about boo-hoo excuses.
Lesson Four: Stop making bullshit boo-hoo excuses. For every excuse you make that you “can’t get laid” there are thousands of men out there right now with the same excuse, or worse, who are getting laid anyway.
I live in Bozeman Montana. Expensive place with low wage jobs, and I can’t afford to move right now.
That is a lie and another excuse. Anyone with a car, even a piece of shit car, can move for less than $1000-$1500 to a lower-cost area. Anyone, even very low-income people, can bite the bullet and spend a few months to save up that much money if they don’t have it at the moment.
One of my current and favorite women, in her early 20s, with no money and no job, moved from high-cost Minneapolis, Minnesota to low-cost Eugene, Oregon, using nothing but her run-down, piece of shit car. The entire move cost her less than $1000. I can be done if you want it bad enough.
Lesson Five: If where you live sucks, MOVE! Moving does not require a lot of money unless you’re being very picky. Stop making excuses. You can move if you want to bad enough.
You say get your income up to $75,000 a year. How is that even possible right now with the economy and with someone like me? I have a lot of doubt about myself, even though I am almost done with my Masters and that will give me more opportunities. There is still doubt I will get nowhere. I look around me, and I see people my age, and younger, doing way better in their lives then I am. I’m not lazy, I work as hard as I can, burning myself out all the time.
When I started my first full-time business at age 24 on October 1st, 1996, my income was near-zero. Exactly 3.5 years later I was making over $100,000 annually. It can be done, if you bust your ass and do the right things rather than the societal things your mommy and your friends tell you to do.
The economy isn’t nearly as bad right now as it was back in 2009-10, so again, stop with the excuses. But even if it was, the answer to “How do I get my income up?” is the same as it has always been:
1. Set specific goals and commit to them.
2. Make specific plans to hit those goals.
3. Avoid Societal Programming regarding money and success (like “you need to go to college to make more money”) and only focus on what works in the real world.
4. Focus on sales and marketing skills rather than technical skills or book skills. A man good at sales or marketing will never be poor unless he chooses to be, but a man who has none of these skills will always be at the whim of society and ever-changing economies, regardless of how knowledgeable he is in technical areas. The world is jam-packed full of men who are much smarter than me who make way less money than me.
5. Focus on growth industries (healthcare, energy, etc), not stagnant industries (education, construction, etc) or dying industries (newspapers, manufacturing, etc).
6. Stay the hell out of debt and keep your living costs very low.
7. Move away from high-cost or high-taxed areas, even if very painful to do so.
8. Avoid hanging out with your typical, left-wing, millennial generation friends who think money is evil, rich people are bad, and/or that marketing and sales is somehow immoral. Don’t spend time with them and don’t read their angry blogs. A sure-fire way to stay poor or average is to listen to guys like that.
8. Work really, really hard, even when it sucks, because sometimes it will.
9. STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
Let me talk about that last one. Notice in John’s comment how he blames all his problems on other factors outside of himself, such as:
- His roommates, who are “lazy and nasty.”
- The economy, forcing him to do “crap jobs.”
- His ex-girlfriend, who “left him with a bad excuse.”
- His ex-boss, who “screwed him over” and “trashed his bank account.”
This is victim-talk. I’m pointing this out because a hell of a lot of you younger guys talk like this. If you lost your job, it’s your bosses fault or the economy’s fault. If a girl breaks up with you, it’s because she’s being a bitch. If you have trouble meeting girls, it’s because you had shitty parents. Blah blah blah BULLSHIT.
Listen god dammit. Barring the unusual 1% exception to every rule, EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS YOUR FAULT. Your income is YOUR FAULT. Your living situation is YOUR FAULT. Your relationship status is YOUR FAULT. Your physical appearance is YOUR FAULT. If you start whining to me about how it’s always someone else’s fault and you’re just an innocent victim doing his best, I’m to play a violin while you keep whining like a bitch, then I’m going to hit you over the head with it.
Some of you millennials make me want to puke with your excuses about how all of your problems are someone else’s fault. No, they’re your fucking fault. And that’s a good thing. That means you have the power to change them whenever you want…if you want it bad enough.
Stop whining and start taking MASSIVE ACTION to change your circumstances. Unlike me when I was your age, you have access to vast amounts of information online on exactly how to do this, so there’s no excuses. Again, you should download my free ebook on how to become successful if you’re just starting out (right here). Read my business success blog right here. Buy my Alpha Male 2.0 book when it comes out in a few weeks, since it specifically discusses how to get your income up to $75,000 a year if you’re not there already. Join the Sovereign Man Inner Circle, where we discuss the specifics regarding increasing income and success with women in detail, with stuff I don’t share with anyone else publicly. Keep reading this blog and other blogs like it; blogs focused on self-improvement rather than whining and bitching about how horrible everything is.
And last but not least, STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
You only live once. You’re a fucking MAN. You are the inheritor of a great legacy from your ancestors. You deserve better than the lifestyle you’re now settling for.