Since monogamy doesn’t work, at least one of my FBs on rotation at any given point in time has a boyfriend they’re cheating on by being with me. Usually this is a woman I started having sex with before she met her boyfriend. This circumstance is created one of two ways:
1. While seeing me, she found a new guy and leapt into a “monogamous” relationship with him while still seeing me.
2. A woman LSNFTEed me and much later came back to me while still seeing a new boyfriend she met during her little “break.”
When I spend time with these women, what do you think the primary topic of conversation is? What do you think is the one topic they LOVE to talk about the most? Would you like to take a guess?
Go ahead. I’ll let you think about it for a minute…
If your guess was “complaining about her boyfriend,” then congratulations, your knowledge of the female species is truly great.
Complaining About The Boyfriend™ is usually the topic of at least 80% of the words that come out of these women’s mouths while they’re with me. Often, it’s what they start talking about as soon as they see me and they keep talking about it when they come over (or when I go over to their place). They briefly stop talking about while we have sex, then as soon as we’re done they start talking about it again. I’m not making a joke and I’m not exaggerating. This is not only common, but the norm with these women.
(By the way, before you scream “friend zone!” or “orbiter!”, remember that I am having sex with these women. No orbiting here.)
As you might imagine, the boyfriend is almost always a beta, though sometimes it’s an Alpha Male 1.0. When it’s a beta, Complaining About The Boyfriend™ is always one or more of the following topics:
- My boyfriend doesn’t listen. Ugh!
- My boyfriend won’t do <certain sexual position> with me. Ugh! Why not?!?
- My boyfriend doesn’t know how to manage his money. Ugh! Can’t he grow up?!?
- My boyfriend wants a wedding with X, Y, and Z, and I don’t want that! That’s stupid!
- My boyfriend hangs out with his friends too much. Ugh!
- My boyfriend is always complaining about <job, friends, family, or other drama>. So irritating!
- My boyfriend bought me some stupid card game for my birthday. “Magic” something. I mean, what is that? Did he think I would like that?!?
- We got in this big argument last week about <stupid irrelevant topic>. He just doesn’t listen!
When the boyfriend is an Alpha 1.0, it’s the exact same bitching and complaining only with slightly different topics, such as:
- I think my boyfriend is cheating on me! I checked his phone / Facebook / email / whatever the other day and saw <blah blah blah>. Oh my god I. Will. Kill. Him. (Note the absence of any irony whatsoever regarding the fact that as she’s complaining about this, she’s cheating on him.)
- I think my boyfriend is talking to his ex! WTF?!? That’s so disrespectful! (Again, no irony.)
- I hate it when my boyfriend looks through my phone. I had to put your number under a girl’s name. Ugh! So dumb!
- My boyfriend got pissed off at me when I talked to my guy friend the other day. Doesn’t he know I’ve known him since we were in high school?!?
- My boyfriend makes me do X, Y, and Z. Ugh! You never made me do that.
- We got in this big argument last week about <stupid irrelevant topic>. He’s such an asshole!
On and on this goes, almost non-stop. It really is fascinating, though it’s not that I care. FBs can talk about whatever they want with me as long as they have sex and don’t give me drama. Per my definition of drama, Complaining About The Boyfriend™ isn’t drama, since the negativity isn’t directed at me. Bitch about whatever you like, Darling. While you’re talking, here, let me help you take your shirt off…
Just to preempt a question I see coming: A woman cannot be a MLTR with me if she already has a boyfriend. My MLTRs can have sex with other men, date other men, even have feelings for other men. However if she chooses to be in a “monogamous” relationship with one, she cannot be anything to me more than a FB. That’s because having a “monogamous” boyfriend fundamentally limits the expression within the relationship, and more importantly is a huge source of potential drama for me, which is, of course, unacceptable. So she can have a boyfriend; totally cool with me; but that means she’ll be stuck at the FB level.
Back to the point. Here’s the interesting thing about all this Complaining About The Boyfriend™, at least to me. Like all women, these women know they can instantly snap their fingers, dump their boyfriend, and go get a new one. Even average-looking women can do this and know it. (Hell, even slightly below-average women can do this!) Yet they don’t do it. They bitch and complain about all the drama yet stay in the relationship anyway.
One reason they do this is because they get all the usual ass-kissing beta-boyfriend behaviors women love (from boyfriend) while still maintaining a connection to confident, outcome independent, masculine Alpha sex and energy (from me). It’s the best of both worlds for a woman, at least from a feminine point of view.
The other reason, the bigger one, is that women love drama. I can easily tell that as women Complain About The Boyfriend™, while they look frustrated and exasperated, they’re actually loving every minute of it. They love the emotional high of the relationship drama, almost to the point of addiction.
Of course they say they hate it and they say it bothers them, but that doesn’t mean anything in woman-language. One of the cardinal rules you must always follow, at least in a dating context, is you must ignore what a woman says and only pay attention to what she does. If a woman is constantly complaining about a boyfriend but stays with him for months on end anyway, then she likes it. She likes Complaining About The Boyfriend™ and likes having that kind of drama in her life. If she dumped the guy she would eliminate all that drama…but she wants the drama, so she keeps him around.
I’ve talked about women who are hardcore serial monogamists, who date a new boyfriend for just a few months and quickly dump him the instant they start getting a little bored. Then within a week or two they have a new temporary monogamous boyfriend and repeat the cycle. However, the women who spend their time Complaining About The Boyfriend™ are the exact opposite. Oh, they’re still serial monogamists just like women are biologically designed to be, but instead of insta-dumping the boyfriend as soon as they start getting bored, these women instead ride out the boyfriend-drama for a long, long time, soaking it all up like a sponge, loving every minute of it.
I find it utterly fascinating. It’s so alien to how I think or behave. I soft next women the instant they give me any drama. These women instead see drama, nosedive right into it, and swim around in it almost daily for months, if not years on end. It boggles the imagination.
Of course to be fair, there are drama-loving MEN like this too; men who are hopelessly addicted to high-emotion, high-drama relationships to high-drama bitches, constantly complaining about it but secretly craving it, and never dumping them. But that’s a topic for another day.
Just remember all of this whenever a woman says “I hate drama!”
Uh, no you don’t, sweetie.