I get a lot of questions about whether or not to get a vasectomy. The last time I received an email about this, I realized I had never addressed it on the blog. As always, you guys give me good topics, so today is the day.
Let’s get the disclaimer over with first. I am not a doctor and am in no way qualified to render medical advice. Do not take medical advice from Alpha Male seduction bloggers, including me. Double-check everything I say with a qualified medical professional before doing anything. Don’t be a dumbass.
Alright. Getting a vasectomy is a pretty big decision, since there are big upsides and big downsides.
The advantage of getting a vasectomy is that, obviously, you can never again get a woman pregnant, and never need to worry about any woman going after you for child support. That’s a massive benefit of staggering proportions. I don’t have a vasectomy, and as a result, getting women pregnant on accident is one of the biggest fears I have while living the Alpha Male lifestyle. I am very, very careful about this, to the point of near-ridiculousness.
If you’ve had a vasectomy, you’ll never have that worry or logistical overhead. Very nice. You still need to worry about STDs, but frankly I’m far more concerned about getting some bimbo FB pregnant and being forced at gunpoint to shell out money to her for 18 years than I am concerned about getting chlamydia or even herpes. I’ve never gotten a woman pregnant on accident in 20 years of having sex, so I’m pretty good at this, but the point is having a vasectomy is a HUGE weight off a man’s shoulders, especially a nonmonogamous Alpha. It’s an extremely compelling reason to do this.
This brings up another point. For you older guys who only have sex with women well over age 45, there’s probably no point in getting a vasectomy, since none of these women are going to get pregnant on you. In my experience many women at this age already have been sterilized anyway, via tubal ligation, Essure, or hysterectomy.
So this entire vasectomy discussion only applies to men (of any age) wanting to have sex with women well under the age of 45 or so. If you only play with women older than this, I think you’re good to go, vasectomy or not.
Then Why Not Do It? The Downsides
So you’re a guy who is having sex with women well under age 45 who is 100% sure you don’t want any kids, or any more kids. A vasectomy sounds staggeringly awesome. Why not do it?
As I said above, this is a major decision that you need to make for yourself. All I can do is give you the reasons why I never got a vasectomy, and probably never will. Again, there is no right or wrong here; it’s only a matter of what you view is best for your goals and your life. Regardless, here are the personal reasons why I personally chose to not get a vasectomy.
1. I have a very strong if-it-ain’t-broke-don’t-fix-it ethic regarding my body. It’s just how I am. My cock works just fine for a man my age, so opening up my ball sack and slashing at tubes in there with an X-ACTO knife doesn’t really appeal to me. (I will be going on testosterone replacement therapy soon, but my reasons for that have nothing to do with my sexual performance; any improvement in that area I will consider a happy bonus.)
I’m no doctor, but my understanding is that sperm are organisms designed to exist within a foreign body. Once you get a vasectomy, those spermies are just “released” into your body…a place they were never designed to go. That strikes me as not a great idea. Again though, I have no expertise in this area; I’m just going off what I’ve read.
“Oh Blackdragon, you’re just being a pussy about this. Millions of men have had vasectomies and they’re just fine.”
Oh really? That brings me to my next reason…
2. I’ve heard too many horror stories. Back in 2007, right after my divorce, I strongly considered getting a vasectomy. As always, I did my research. I talked to a doctor about it, and talked to several men who had the procedure. I also spoke with several women I knew who were married to men who had the procedure.
About four out of five times, the story was the usual story you’ve probably heard before. “Oh, no problem, I just went in, had it done, was in pain for a few hours, and it was fine.”
The problem was that one out of five times I got a story. It was never a good story. A few examples:
One guy said it was fine on the day of the procedure. However later that evening, something ruptured, and his ball sack filled with fluid (probably blood). He had to be rushed to the emergency room. It was ugly.
Another guy, my dad, said his procedure “worked out fine”. However it was one of the most terrifying events of his life, since as the doctor was working on his balls, he (the doctor) was complaining about his ex-wife and his divorce (ah, monogamy), to the point of getting emotional, while working on my dad’s scrotum with blades.
It all turned out okay, but one little mistake caused by Mr. Distraught Divorced Doctor, and I shudder to think what could have happened.
I saved the best for last. This was something reported to me by two different married women who did not know each other. The conversation went something like this:
Her: Oh yeah, he had it done, and went right back to work the same day. It was fine.
Me: It was fine?
Her: <pause> Well, yeah…
Me: Well yeah what? Why are you hesitating?
Her: Well…it’s just that…once he had it done, it was never quite the same.
Me: What do you mean?
Her: Let’s just say that I have to really work that thing to get it hard now.
Me: And you didn’t before?
Her: No. There was a noticeable difference after he had the vasectomy. At least to me.
Let me say this again: This was the exact same story I got from two wives who did not know each other. This also made me reconsider the possibly thousands of men out there who have had vasectomies suffering from the same problem post-operation who either didn’t notice, didn’t care, or were too embarrassed to tell anyone.
I can see some overweight, married, 45 year-old beta male not really giving a shit if his cock doesn’t quite work as well as it did before the vasectomy. But if you’re a 34 year-old Alpha having sex with multiple women, including much younger women, then you’re probably going to care. A lot. And that’s my point. Most guys getting vasectomies are married, monogamous betas, so the pool of available information is based on that demographic. This is an important thing to keep in mind that no doctor is going to tell you.
So four out of five, no problem, one out of five, major problem. That’s a 20% possibility for a major problem based on my admittedly very unscientific polling. Regardless, it was enough to give me pause. I don’t mind 2% odds of failure, but 20% would be a problem, considering the stakes.
3. At one point I considered having more children. However, to be honest this is by far the weakest of my reasons. This isn’t a big issue because every year I get older I like the prospect of having more kids less and less. I already have two kids and they’re amazing; I really don’t need any more.
More importantly, for about $1000 you can get your sperm frozen at a sperm storage facility. Frozen sperm lasts indefinitely; women have been successfully impregnated by sperm that had been frozen for 25 years. So that’s certainly an option if you don’t have any kids yet but want to get a vasectomy anyway. It’s also a good option for you younger guys who want to have kids, but not until you’re older, and are concerned about having “old sperm”. No problem; get your sperm frozen when you’re 25, then have kids when you’re 40 as I and other successful men recommend.
4. Most women under 30 are repulsed by men who can’t father children. This is a complicated one. Often you’ll hear from men that “women love men with vasectomies!” Um, not exactly. That’s only half the story. The real statement is “women in their thirties who already have two or more kids love men with vasectomies.”
If your target market is women over age 33 who have two or more kids, then yes, having a vasectomy is actually a DHV to these women, and they’ll love you for it. Announcing that you’ve had the procedure might even help you get laid.
But if you’re out with a hot, childless, younger woman who’s 22 or 26, and you mention you’ve had a vasectomy, she’ll nod politely, and when the date is over, you will never see her ever again. I’m not kidding. She’ll vanish so fast it’ll make your head spin. This is still true even if she already has kids and even if she says “I never want kids” and even if she only sees you as a potential fuck buddy and nothing more.
Younger women want kids. At least they want the option of having kids later. Period, end of story. You destroy all that Disney if you tell them you can’t father children. I’ve been on first and second dates with women age 18-23 and often they won’t ask anything about me except, “So…are you done having kids?”
In addition, I can tell you from vast experience with much younger women that even Type 2 VYW are creeped out by the concept of a vasectomy. It really rubs them the wrong way, even if they’re attracted to you sexually. My guess is it’s a biological thing, something having to do with the child-bearing age of a woman, but that’s only a theory.
Yes, I suppose you could get a vasectomy and spend the rest of your life lying to women by telling them you never got one, but I don’t lie to women. A true Alpha doesn’t have to lie to women to get laid in my opinion. So again, this is a decision you’ll have to make for yourself.
Just realize that if your target market is much younger women, as in under age 30 and definitely under age 23, having a vasectomy is like kryptonite with these gals. Be aware.
5. I’m confident they’ll invent safe birth control for men someday anyway. I’ve talked about this before. This isn’t going to happen any time soon, but it will happen. It could be a shot, pill, implant, or something else. At some point future technology will render this entire vasectomy discussion moot.
(Update: Upon reading this, a whole bunch of you emailed me saying that male birth control has already been “invented”, excitedly pointing to this link. That method is in development in India, and male birth control stuff has been “in development” for at least 30 years, going back to when I was in high school in the 1980s. “In development” does not mean working, viable, or available. When my next-door neighbor can get reliable, reversible male birth control with little or no side effects, then I’ll get excited. Not until then. We’re still at least a decade way from something like this, at best.)
There you have it. Tremendous upside, and some downsides you need to be aware of. I’m not recommending you don’t get a vasectomy; I think men who get vasectomies are heroes, and I’m very serious about that. Moreover, some or all the downsides may not apply to you. I’m just giving you my reasons, and even my reasons may change over time.