This is an online dating technique I have used several times, and it’s worked very well every time I’ve tried it. The very first time I tested it out it doubled my response rate. It’s something I’ve mentioned once before, but today I’m going explain it in detail.
The Ultimate Online Dating Photo (UODP) technique is only recommended for men who are ugly, average-looking, overweight, or much older than the women they are messaging. If you’re a good-looking guy messaging women in your own age group, then there is no reason to try this technique; all the usual techniques regarding online dating photos will work for you. But for you chubbier, older, or uglier dudes having some trouble, listen up. This technique is pure awesomeness.
I’ll say right up front that this technique will cost you a little money. Not much, but some.
The UODP technique means you delete all the photos on your online dating profile and replace them with just one photo. That’s right, just one. However, this one photo is the absolute best photo you can possibly have of yourself. This is why if you’re good-looking, you don’t need to do this; you’ll want 2-4 photos on your profile, not just one.
Essentially, you go get your Ultimate Photo taken a certain way, then put it on your OKCupid profile, Tinder profile, or whatever, start messaging women, and enjoy your increased responses.
Here’s exactly how to do it:
1. Pick out the best outfit you can possibly wear. It should be something congruent to your personality. If that means cool jeans and a nice button-down, that’s fine. If that means a suit and tie, that’s also fine. The outfit must:
– Fit your body perfectly.
– Include colors that work best with your hair color, eye color, and skin tone. It also should not have any colors that make you look bad or washed-out. Get some female opinions on this if you have no idea what colors look best (or worst) on you.
– Be crisp and clean.
– Be in current styles. No 80s or 90s styles, even if you like those styles.
In other words, you need to look as fantastic as you possibly can based on your physical appearance and body size/shape. If that means you need to go shopping for a new outfit, go do that. If that means you need to get an existing outfit tailored or fitted to fit you better, go do that. Get your ultimate outfit put together and fitted well.
2. Hire a professional or semi-professional photographer. My usual advice is to get some inexpensive photography student with a good camera from Craigslist or similar. Not for your UODP. For this, you need a “real” photographer. Moreover, you need this person to have access to an indoor studio or something similar. Your UODP must be an indoor photo.
3. Plan your facial hair for the photo. That means if you want a short goatee for your photo (for example), you’ll need to plan this accordingly based on the date of your photo shoot with the photographer. It should go without saying that in most cases, you DO want facial hair in your UODP.
4. Be aware of the best angles for your face. Think back to the “MySpace angles” the fat girls used to employ back in the MySpace days. (I guess today you could call them “Instagram angles.”) You need to know exactly which angle makes your face look the best. Usually, this means the camera is located well above your head with your head tilted slightly up, and your neck sticking slightly out (like E.T. used to do).
Experiment with mirrors or taking pics with your phone if you need to. Get a good picture of your “angle” so you can show the photographer.
5. Go get your photo shoot. Dress up in your perfect outfit with the perfect colors and your perfect facial hair. Get your hair style looking as awesome as possible. Think edgy and cool (though always remain congruent to who you are). Make sure you look as perfect as you can.
6. Select your background. You do not want the background of the photo to be a photographer’s fake backdrop. Instead, you want a real wall with normal stuff in the frame. Also, it’s critical that the wall be of a color that compliments you, but not necessarily a color you’re wearing.
This is important. If you’re not sure as to the best color that should be behind you, experiment with a few and find which makes you look best. If you really want to make this work, bring a woman with you and get her color opinions after the photographer takes a few test shots. Women see colors much better than men do. (This is one of the very rare times I will recommend you take advice from from women regarding anything dating-related.)
Again, make sure whatever is in the background looks normal. Make sure a bookshelf or some other normal object(s) are in the frame, even if blurry. It needs to look natural, not like it was taken in a professional studio.
Once you guys determine your ideal background color, show the photographer your best angle. If he/she needs to get up on a ladder to take the shots, have them do that.
7. Take hundreds of shots. That’s right. Hundreds. I would go for at least 200. More is better. Use slightly different angles and facial expressions.
What’s the best facial expression for your Ultimate Online Dating Photo? The answer is “neutral to slightly smiling”. Use different expressions within that range, and have the photographer snap away.
8. Later, go through your hundreds of shots, and pick out the 15 or so best ones. then have two or three women (ideally within your target age range) help you pick out the absolute best one of the 15.
If you really want to go the extra mile, have two or three women in your target age range who don’t know you help determine the best photo. Use friends of female friends to do this. Women in your target age range, who live in your area, who don’t know you, and who have never seen you are the absolute best sources to ask for which online dating photos you should use.
Once you dteremine the best photo from your final 15, this will be your UODP. But you’re not quite done yet.
9. Have someone good with Photoshop color correct the photo. Listen to what I’m saying here: I don’t mean you should “Photoshop” your photo to make you look skinnier, or airbrush your skin, or anything like that. I’m saying someone who understands how to do this (and I do not) needs to color correct the photo, improving the lighting, contrast, and colors. It makes a huge difference. It makes the photo look more like something one would see if they saw in you real life, rather than a “photo”.
10. Your photo is ready to upload to your profile. Ideally, you should delete your entire profile and re-make a new one from scratch with a different user name on your online dating site. Then use just your single UODP and don’t use any other photos.
You could take an existing profile, delete all of your other photos and replace them with your UODP, but your results will be much better if you start from scratch, even if you use the same online dating profile text both times.
Why This Works
As I’ve been saying for years, women on online dating sites are looking to DISqualify, not qualify. They are looking for things they don’t like, not things they do like. So if you have four photos on your profile and she loves the first three but doesn’t like something about the fourth, BAM! You’re gone, and she’s onto the next guy’s profile.
Having just one photo with the minimal number of flaws reduces the odds of her finding something she doesn’t like. Hence, your response rates will go up. I will state again that my response rates noticeably improved every time I have personally done this, and other guys I’ve had try this have reported similar results.
What To Expect
If you do all of this right, your response rates should increase unless they were decent (as in 15% or more) to begin with.
The one possible humorous downside with this method is that this photo will look so damn good, some women might actually think it’s fake, and may bypass you because they think you’re some kind of scammer or spammer. However, in my experience the increased response rate of women who do respond to your openers is well worth this flaw.
If you’re not super good-looking, give this a shot. You’ll be very happy with the results.