Per the glossary, the definition of “provider hunting” is:
A phase a woman goes through, usually when she’s over the age of 27 (but can happen at all ages) where she seeks to settle down with a beta, now preferring the perceived stability and compliance of a beta over the fun, great sex, passion, and excitement of an Alpha. Because of the excessive amount of needy AFCs in society, provider-hunting women don’t stay single long, and find husbands or live-in boyfriends very quickly.
A provider hunter is a woman who is now in this phase. She is looking for a man who will follow her orders, pay all or some of her bills, and help raise the kids she already has, plus father any new kids she may desire. She is not looking to date, have fun, or have sex. If you try to do any of these things with her outside the context of a very serious, “committed” relationship, she will be offended, insulted, and may even become visibly upset.
Provider hunters often demand full-on “dates”, where dinner and drinks and other events are involved, and where you pay the entire bill. Because she’s looking for a complaint man, your willingness to pay for her demonstrates such compliance, and thus you “qualify” to be her provider. Unwillingness to do these things disqualify you (and pisses her off too).
Today’s article is how to identify a provider hunter as quickly as possible so you can next her fast and move on to less demanding women. Here are the traits of a provider hunter, listed in no particular order.
1. She’s likely over the age of 27, but not always.
Per the definition, most provider hunters are typically over the age of about 27 or so. Women under the age of 27 are usually spending their time having fun or being too independent to bother with a provider, but that’s a wide generalization. There are indeed many women under 27 who can also be provider hunters. I’ve even seen some as young as 19.
This means that if you keep your target range below age 27 or so, just doing that will weed out most provider hunters out there. Just be aware it will not weed them all out. There will still be plenty of under-27 provider hunters you’ll be running into.
2. She’s likely been on LOTS of first dates recently.
Any time you run into a woman who has been on 20, 30, or more first dates recently, that’s one of the biggest provider hunter red flags there is. You’re likely dealing with a very picky provider hunter who hasn’t found her perfect slave yet.
Non-provider-hunting women rarely need to go on this many first dates. Within three to seven first dates, they’ve found a guy they enjoy having sex with. However, Ms. Picky Provider Hunter hasn’t yet found a provider that matches up to her impossibly high standards.
I can tell you as a man who has been on more first dates than the typical ten men will go on in their entire lives, if during the conversation you find she’s been on bazillions of first dates lately, you’re likely dealing with a hardcore provider hunter.
3. She’s usually a Dominant, not an Independent or Submissive.
Using my definitions for the three types of women here, most provider hunters are Dominants.
Independents are never provider hunters and are disgusted at the thought of a man who “provides” for her. Most Independents don’t even want to get married, much less have a provider.
Submissives do desire providers at times but they usually won’t actively go out and seek them and screen for them aggressively the way Dominants do.
No, if she’s a provider hunter, she’s likely a Dominant. Contrary to popular belief, provider hunters are not looking for a dashing, strong man to sweep her off her feet. Rather, they are looking for a Poindexter who will be home by 6pm every night and take out the trash when ordered.
4. She asks you lots of questions.
Women enjoy talking, mostly about themselves. It’s normal and how they’re wired. Any time a woman on a first date is laughing and talking a lot about herself (which is usually the case, because I make sure she does this), I know I’ll be having sex with her very soon. That’s why on a first date it’s very important to keep a woman talking, and keep asking her questions about her life.
But if you’re sitting across from a woman who is asking you a lot of questions, this is often a tell-tale sign of a provider hunter. What she’s really doing is running through her mental checklist of provider requirements and determining how you measure up. She’s also seeing how you compare or contrast to other men she’s been in relationships with who had qualities she hated. This is never a good sign; not if you want to get to sex quickly.
5. She brags about how much she loves sex.
A woman who talks about sex is great. A woman who goes along with your strong sexual frame is also great. A woman who clearly gets turned on as she talks about sex, or as you talk about sex, is also great.
But I can tell you from vast experience that a woman who brags about how much she likes sex is often a huge provider hunter red flag. If she starts boasting about how much she loves sex and how she needs it all the time and how her last boyfriend said she was the best he ever had, all while not becoming aroused and stating it all matter-of-factly like a man bragging about his income, then you’re likely dealing with a woman who is going to stop you when you try to take her shirt off later and give you a lecture about how she’s not a slut and how you need to learn to “romance a girl”.
It’s key you understand the difference between a woman bragging about how much she likes/needs sex (bad), and a woman talking about sex with you while getting excited or happy (good). Don’t get confused; there’s a very big difference.
When a provider hunter is bragging about sex, that means she’s already selected you as a viable candidate to help her pay her bills. You will also notice she’ll stop asking you questions once she’s bragging about her sexual prowess. That’s because you’ve “passed”. Now she’s trying to reel you in with all kinds of sexual enticements.
She’ll keep dangling that sexual carrot in front of you as you keep buying her dinners. Finally, if she hasn’t gotten bored with you by then (which is likely), she’ll have sex with you, but only after you’ve made some serious commitments to her.
6. She’s short-tempered.
A short temper during the dating process is a very clear sign of a provider hunter. Why?
Because provider hunters hate dating. They hate going on dating sites, they hate going out on dates, they hate sexual interplay with a man who is not her boyfriend, they hate it all. Dating is a huge hassle to these women. She doesn’t want to date, she wants to be married, or at least have a super-serious boyfriend. Dating “sucks”. And dammit, men need to “get it together”.
As a result, if anything doesn’t go her way during the dating process, she’ll be snippy at best, outright bitchy at worst. Remember, she’s already pissed off that she has to “date”. (You can even see this anger in their online dating profiles.) So if you do anything “wrong” in her eyes, or don’t measure up to her checklist, you’re going to get some bile.
7. If she has kids, her kids are her ENTIRE LIFE.
Single mothers are great. I’ve been in many happy relationships with many of them, still to this day. However sometimes you’ll meet single mothers whose entire lives revolve around their children. All their Facebook pics are of their children. All they talk about are their children. 100% of their time not spent at work is spent with their children, either at home or at sporting events (which they are often obsessed with to the point of mania).
I’m not talking about women whose children are important to them. That’s normal. I’m talking about women whose children are all they have, all they think about, their whole life. These are often provider hunters. They desperately need a new father or father-figure for their children, as well as another paycheck to help support them.
8. She’s JUST gotten divorced.
A lot of guys follow the fantasy that recently-divorced women are easy. After a long boring marriage and stressful divorce, she wants to go play the field now. I used to think this myself, but experience has shown this is usually not the case. If she’s recently divorced and very young, as in under the age of 23, then yeah, she might be looking to score.
But if she’s just recently divorced and well over the age of 23, the odds are very strong that she’s looking to get back into a marriage as fast as possible so she can feel “normal” again. Very-recently-divorced women, especially those with kids, are some of the strongest provider hunters I’ve run into. I now consider very-recently-divorced women as a provider hunter red flag.
Side note: Match.com is loaded with these women. It’s almost as if Match.com has become the go-to place for people the instant they get a divorce. Full disclosure: Match.com was the first place I went to when I got divorced so many years ago, so this is not just a female phenomenon. (However I wasn’t a provider hunter when I did it. Yes, men can be provider hunters too, particularity those under age 23 or over age 40.)
One slight twist to all this. I’m talking about women who just got divorced, not separated. Recently separated women who are currently going through a divorce can actually be easy to lay quickly. She’s not quite in provider hunting mode yet, because her divorce is not final (thus a new marriage is impossible). So for a while, she may be up for some fun. But as soon as the legal divorce is finalized, watch out. She’s going to want you as husband number two ASAP.
There are probably some other traits of provider hunters I’m forgetting, but those are the biggies. If you have any to add, please comment and do so.