It appears I’m going to have to create a new phrase. It’s something I see a lot of, yet there is no word/phrase to describe it. I’m going to call it “gender myopia”. I think someone published a book by that title a few years ago, but I don’t care. I’m re-inventing the phrase.
Gender myopia is the condition of being so narrowly focused on what your gender likes, you are completely blinded to the realities of what the other gender likes. You think the other gender wants exactly what you want. Which, of course, they don’t.
When men email pictures of their genitalia to women thinking “Oh yeah, that’ll turn her on,” that’s gender myopia. When women brag on their online profiles about how “sassy” they are and their college degrees, that’s also gender myopia. In both cases, they’re doing what would turn them on, rather than the opposite gender, and are thusly turning off the other gender rather than attracting them.
In the modern era, as both genders are starting to blend into one amorphous mass, gender myopia is very common, and will likely become more so. It’s actually a very entertaining problem to observe, and I have to admit it has provided me with much entertainment over the years.
However, sometimes gender myopia is so extreme it’s not funny at all. I recently came across this article posted on some kind of dating advice site. Its gender myopia is stunning in its depth. It really was amazing to read. The woman writing the article is so wound up in what she wants, with what women like her think is attractive in women, she has completely lost touch with what men think is attractive in women (some extreme betas she uses as examples notwithstanding).
She lists seven reasons why men should date older women instead of those stupid, slutty, classless younger women.
<Blackdragon slowly withdraws his +5 Katanas of Logic, an evil grin forming on his face>
Let’s do this…
She’s got her own life. And by that I mean: her own career, her own friends, her own apartment, her own money.
Hey, that actually is a good thing. But just three sentences later she says:
Should you automatically go dutch or expect her to pay? No. In fact, you want to impress someone, treat a lady with some bank to a nice meal, because she appreciates exactly how much it costs.
Read that again.
Now read it again.
It’s a copy-and-paste, dude. She actually wrote that, word-for-word. Go look at the article if you don’t believe me.
She just said that because she has money, you should by her a nice dinner and should not expect her to kick in for the cost.
This is woman logic, gentlemen. It’s hard to get worse than that. And she’s not alone. I’ve mentioned before that some of the biggest gold diggers I’ve ever encountered were women who made high incomes, as in $80,000 a year or more.
By the way…a simple question: Would you rather date a woman with no money who expects you to pay for the entire cost of an expensive date, or a woman who makes decent money who expects the same?
Of course the best woman is one who doesn’t want you to pay for the date at all because she’s truly independent, but if you had to pick between one of the two above women, which of them would probably make a better long-term girlfriend? Likely be less bitchy? Less demanding?
Dark is the road we tread, my brothers. Nevertheless, we must continue…
She can hold her own. This ain’t her first rodeo. So when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, be it to a wedding or work event, you don’t have to worry she’ll perish without your constant attention. She’s been to enough of these things on her own to manage just fine while you’re talking to someone else. And, unlike the 23-year-old who gets tanked and throws shade at your ex, she’s got class.
Yes, everyone knows that older women never get bitchy-jealous about exes. Never ever. It’s just those stupid younger women who do. Any man who’s had a serious relationship with a woman over the age of 30 can attest to the accuracy of that one.
She knows what she wants—and doesn’t want. And at this point, she’s not afraid to say it. In the bedroom? Go ahead and try to shock her. Bondage? Bisexual encounters? Threeways? Role play? If she hasn’t tried it herself, she’s likely considered it.
Yeah. Try to get your 38 year-old wife or girlfriend into a threesome with you and another woman. Let me know how that goes.
Then once you break up with her and get a 24 year-old girlfriend, try to get her into a threesome. Then be shocked at how easy it was to get her to go along with it and enjoy it versus the ASD-ridden 38 year old.
Since she’s got a little life on her (and maybe even a marriage in her past), she may not have the rigid checklist that a younger girl has.
The exact opposite of reality. Go on ten first dates with ten women over the age of 33. Then go on ten first dates with women under the age of 27. Then come back and tell me which age group is almost completely dominated by their “checklists” when it comes to men and dating.
She doesn’t move in a herd. I once went out with a young man from Queens who only dated older women because younger ladies, he found, couldn’t do a thing without checking in with 15 of their friends. When you date a younger woman, he said, you also date all her friends, and it’s “a pain in the fucking ass.” You can’t just go out and do your own thing because she must receive approval from a larger governing body. A slightly more mature lady has friends—but she sure as shit doesn’t need their permission to live her life.
That’s true, the older woman usually doesn’t check in with her friends like that. Instead, the older woman is dominated by A) years of negative experiences with men that color her view of them, and B) years of society telling her that she’s a “lady” and that she deserves a man to kiss her ass and serve her, or else he’s not a “gentleman”, which is the over-33-woman term for beta.
She had sex before she had a FB profile. Hard as it may be to imagine a world before Facebook, the fact is, there was one—and I, along with many of my lady cohorts, lived in it.
This is a benefit to a man…how?
Her answer is, because of her gender myopia, for some reason living before Facebook is a badge of honor for her. Therefore it should be for you.
She doesn’t need you; she wants you. If she’s gotten this far on her own, regardless of whatever relationships are behind her, she’s been through enough ups and downs to know she can handle just about anything.
And that is the reason she has such a negative view of men as compared to a woman 10-15 years younger than her.
And she knows she won’t fall into a million pieces if she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
That’s right, so much so that unlike a younger woman, she’ll actually spend huge spans of her life going without sex if she can’t find a “proper” provider.
And whereas younger women are putting you through the paces to see if you can provide her with a life, an identity, and a future, an older woman already knows who she is and what she wants to do—she’d just love someone to share it with.
Younger women put men through these “paces” but older women don’t?
Has this woman ever been on a first date with a woman over 33?
Did she forget that just 20 seconds ago she told men to buy older women expensive dinners?
Okay, do the experiment again: Date ten women over 33 and ten women under 27. Then come back and tell me which age group demanded that you:
- pay for more stuff
- contact them more often
- make more relationship promises
Men who have already done this (like me) already know the answer.
Okay, we finally come to the last one. She saved the best for last.
Steel yourself. Here it comes:
She can make you a better man. A friend of mine dated a 40-year-old woman when he was 22 and new to New York. “She picked the restaurants, paid for things, took me places. She had access to a world I didn’t, and she had done all the things I hadn’t done yet,” he said. Now he’s in his mid 40s, and married with a kid, and remembers that relationship as critical to making him the man he is now. “As a dude, I’m told that I’m supposed to date girls my own age and take care of them, pay for dinner, and so on. But for that period of time, the roles were reversed. She had the power. And it felt great—who doesn’t want to be taken care of? That’s when I understood what it was to be in that role, to be someone’s bitch, essentially. And I could appreciate it when it was my turn to take care of someone else.”
I leave you that without comment…it speaks for itself, as well as providing insight into the type of man an older woman really wants…