You may have seen the above image before, and it’s cute, but today I’m going to give you something a little more real-world accurate. This is a concept I have talked about before in passing, but I’ve never explained it fully. It’s hugely critical in terms of dating women.
Every woman you meet or go out on a date with, who is not already married and is not related to you, has three buttons on her forehead. These buttons are labeled “No”, “Sex”, and “Make Him Wait”.
When you interact with a woman in a flirty, dating, or sexual context, you actually press down on one of these three buttons. You do this via your words, actions, demeanor, appearance, body language, tone of voice, kino, and all the other critical areas of dating and seduction we’ve discussed before.
If you press her No button, she is immediately turned off sexually, will not have sex with you and likely never will.
If you press her Sex button, she will be sexually attracted to you, and will have sex with you as soon as her ASD, age, and cultural/religious background allows. (Your level of seduction skill is also a factor.) The point is, when you press down hard on her Sex button, you’re in, unless you really screw things up.
If you press her Make Him Wait button, she puts you in “This-Guy-Could-Mean-Something” mode. This means she likes you, is attracted to you, but because of ASD, false Societal Programming, and woman logic, she “doesn’t want to screw things up” by having sex with you “too soon”. She will then start to expect and/or demand you to take her out on many long dates before sex occurs. She wants to have sex with you, but she needs to Make You Wait. She Needs Time.
(Men in Friend Zone are simply men who were in Make You Wait zone for too long without sex.)
If you want to get to sex as fast as possible, you should do nothing that presses the No or Make Him Wait buttons. You want to be pressing that Sex button as often and as hard as you can.
Most guys understand the No button. Most guys understand, at least on some level, that you don’t want to show up to a first date wearing a dirty T-shirt with holes in it with your belly hanging out.
It’s the Make Him Wait button that constantly trips up guys. When you’re on a first date (or first meet, or similar) with a woman, and you tell her how pretty she is, talk about how great it might be if you get married, bring her flowers and chocolates, buy her dinner at a nice restaurant, talk about how you “respect” women, and/or demonstrate that you make a lot of money and can take care of her financially, you might think you’re pressing the Sex button, but what you’re actually doing is mashing down hard, repeatedly, on her Make Him Wait button.
Instead of attracting her, you’re firing up all of her provider-hunting desires. And she will behave accordingly.
If you don’t mind waiting five or six dates before having sex with a woman, and/or want to immediately jump into a monogamous relationship with her as fast as humanly possible post-sex (which she will be expecting anyway, because you’ve paved the way for it with your monogamous EFA), then I guess go right ahead. Be a Nice Guy™ and have fun waiting a very, very long time to get laid.
My approach is to do everything possible to avoid that Make Him Wait button and press down hard on her Sex button. This would include things like not complimenting her appearance prior to sex, spending little or no money on her prior to sex, being extremely outcome independent, strong kino, demonstrating a strong sexual frame, and various other things I’ve discussed on this blog and in the ebooks. This is why I have sex usually within three hours from meet-to-lay, usually spread out over two meets.
There are three big challenges with women’s Three Buttons:
1. Unless you’re very schooled in game and/or seduction skills, you may not even be aware women have a Make Him Wait button. You’ll think (incorrectly) that they only have a No button and a Sex button. There are huge swaths of the male population out there who honestly believe that if they pay for fancy dinners and trips and gifts and brag about their incomes, women will get wet and leap all over them. That’s not how most women work.
You’ll do all the Make Him Wait behaviors, thinking you’re pressing down on her Sex button, and then be surprised when she gives you the big I’m A Lady I Don’t Do That lecture when you try to take her shirt off.
2. Most women don’t want you to know they have a Sex button. The older they are, the more this is generally true. Thanks to Societal Programming and slut shaming, women falsely believe that if you turn them on and they have sex with you fast, they have somehow lost something or disrespected themselves. Many of them will work very hard to present the false image that they only have the No and Make Him Wait buttons and that’s it.
And it’s working. There’s a hilarious video right here that demonstrates how MSNBC host Chris Mathews, a very intelligent and well-informed man, had no idea that women text naked pics of themselves to men.
3. Most behaviors that press down on her Sex button are completely counter-intuitive. Though I personally do not follow the advice of “negs”, I do admit they can often work, specifically with very hot women (9s and 10s), but a guy new to the seduction community is often confused and even angered that actually insulting a woman a little bit will raise the odds of her having sex with you quickly.
The same goes for when I tell men to not compliment a woman’s appearance pre-sex or not ask “interview” questions on a first date or not to buy her nice gifts. As a man, you’re often going to want to do things that will press her Make Him Wait button because both society and your gut will tell you to do it. Sadly, both society and your gut are wrong (assuming your goal is fast sex).
Matching Buttons With Behaviors
If you ever get confused about this, it’s helpful to picture those three buttons on a woman’s forehead, and every time you feel like doing or saying something, pause for a second and see if you can match the behavior to the button it presses.
Burp loudly? No button.
Repeatedly agree with everything she says? Make Him Wait button.
Stretch, act bored and look around the room? Sex button.
Bitch about your ex-wife for 20 minutes? No button.
Tell her you’re looking to get married soon? Make Him Wait button.
Reach over and play with her necklace as you make a smartass remark? Sex button.
Act stupid? No button.
Act interested? Make Him Wait button.
Act relaxed? Sex button.
Tell her she has nice big tits? No button.
Tell her she has beautiful eyes? Make Him Wait button.
Tell her you have beautiful eyes? (With a smirk on your face.) Sex button.
The great news here is that usually you have complete power over which of the three buttons you press on her. Just make sure you press the right ones.