We all know about OKCupid’s ridiculous and irrelevant questions that you answer in order to get your friend/enemy match score when women look at your profile. I’ll talk about that particular system some other time.
To my chagrin, when I set up a new profile at Plenty of Fish a few months ago to test some new profiles, I saw that they had jumped on the OKC bandwagon and made you answer a questionnaire of their own. Unlike with OKC, POF’s questions were mandatory. You had to answer them as part of your new profile creation. Shit.
This is another example of how online dating sites are catering more and more to the desires of women over men. They’re trying to make dating sites into romantic matchmaking sites, like online versions of watching The Bachelorette. I suppose since women are 51% of the population, and without women you don’t have a dating site, and since men will gravitate to any dating site looking for sex regardless of how bad the site is, the dating sites feel the need to do this to keep and attract female customers.
The problem is a hell of a lot of women online are not looking for the Man of their Dreams™. Yes, a lot of them are, particularly those over-age-33 provider-hunters, but a lot aren’t. Lots of women are on there to just hook up, even if their bloviations say otherwise. Remember, women can’t go online and say “I’m looking for some sex, please.” Society doesn’t allow them to do that. Instead, women looking to get laid are forced to mumble something about dates and relationships instead, and then hope they don’t get inundated with beta males who don’t understand this and want to marry them immediately.
Other women online, many of them, are there to date. Truly to date and not much else. They don’t want a husband or a serious boyfriend (at least right now), but they do want to date, have fun, get some masculine energy, have sex, and hang out.
Sadly, I predict this trend of leaning hard towards the romance-seeking provider-hunting segment of the female population is going to increase over time. (That’s what eHarmony is for, not POF or OKC.) It’s going to start complicating all of this. My hope is that at some point soon a new (third) big online dating site will come to the fore that takes a more neutral stance while still being woman-friendly. This hasn’t happened yet but I remain hopeful.
Anyway! What I did when I saw this POF questionnaire was to do what I always do when I answer questions on an online dating site that will be used to help women “match” me: I answered the questions in a way that would be most compatible with a woman in my target market.
Before answering my questions, I picture the perfect woman I would like to be with. Then I get into her head and temporarily assume her personality. Then, slowly, I start answering each and every question the way she would answer them, not the way I would answer them. If I come across a question that was too gender-specific to do that (and applied only to men) then I would answer the question in a way her perfect man would answer the question. (Fortunately this is usually the way I would answer the question too…remember that women in your target market likely want you just as badly as you want them.)
I’ve always said that when opening women online you should cast the widest net possible. So recently to help you guys out, I went back into POF and re-answered the questions in a way to give the broadest appeal for women online in general. Then I took some screenshots. If you have no idea how to best answer these questions, simply copy what I’ve done below. That should at least get you started and will likely boost response.
Remember again that these answers are not how I would answer them, rather they are the best answers to create the most “matches” and cast the widest net for your online dating efforts.
Of course, your best option is to tweak these answers to better fit a woman in your target market (as described above) rather than copying them verbatim, but if you want to copy them, go for it.
Some of you may disagree slightly on some of the woman-answers above. That’s fine, but I have no interest in getting into a nitpick discussion on the minutia. The above gives you an overall idea and that’s the important thing. Notice I did not answer any question an extreme “Disagree” or “Agree”. This is because, again, you want to cast the widest net possible and don’t want to screen or alienate possible women for you, at least not at this stage when you haven’t even met them yet.
As should be obvious to anyone who’s read my stuff before, all my online dating advice revolves around the concept that YOU should be the one picking and choosing potential sexual or romantic partners by meeting them in real life and making a determination THEN. The stupid dating site should not be the one making important decisions like this for you.
Lastly, if you really are concerned you’re going to get some “false” matches by doing this, I will make this caveat: If you are truly wife-hunting right now and need to get married (I’m not sure why you’re reading my stuff if that’s the case, but whatever), then go ahead and ignore everything I just said and answer the questions like you would really answer them. But if you’re a guy looking for dating or sex, looking for women who want dating or sex, use the above answers or your target market variations. You’ll be doing yourself and her a favor.