I really don’t know why I need to write about this. I really don’t. But apparently I have to.
Only 3% of married or engaged couples have a prenuptial agreement. THREE PERCENT. This is hailed as an “improvement”, since it was 1% back in 2003.
Let me remind you that the real divorce rate is around 63% in most American and European cities.
Gentlemen, this is god damn insane. INSANE!
Recent surveys show that about one third (usually around 36%, depending on the survey) of unmarried people say they would ask a significant other to sign a prenup. Yet only 3% actually do it.
That tells me something I’ve already known for many years now: People know in the backs of their minds that TMM (traditional monogamous marriage) doesn’t work any more, but when it’s actually their time at bat they’re pussing out. They know what they should do, but they don’t have the balls to man-up (or woman-up) and do what’s right.
Statistically speaking, this includes YOU if you’re not currently married. You know if you ever get married you need to get your ass a prenup. But when push comes to shove, when your oneitis girlfriend who is Not Like The Rest™ is stamping her foot like a little drill sargeant saying that Prenups Are Unromantic™, when her eyes start to water as she says you clearly Don’t Value This Relationship™, you’re going to finally crumble like a little bitch and give in.
I would like to just tell you to not ever get married, but you’re going to ignore that advice. Likely, the false societal programming in your brain and obsolete biology in your body is just too powerful even if you logically know getting traditionally married is a terrible idea. Therefore this post is my effort, likely a futile one, to assist you in staying the course when the massive wave of societal programming comes crashing down on your head telling you to not get a prenup.
“I don’t need a prenup. I don’t have any money.”
Correction. You don’t have any money NOW. Do you plan on having some money in 20 years? Oh, you do? So you you don’t get a prenup now because you have no money, then work your ass off for 20 years, finally scrape some money together so you can retire, then get divorced and lose (at least) half of it, destroying your financial life and forcing you to work another 20 years past what you were planning. Was that a good move?
I work with men who did exactly this. They got married in their 20’s, didn’t get a prenup because they “didn’t have any money”, busted their asses for decades, got divorced in their late 40s or 50s, and now, they’re FUCKED. I’ll never forget a work friend of mine, a guy age 53, who was planning on retiring at age 56. He started to get tears in his eyes in his office one day as he told me that because he got a divorce (his wife left him because she “wasn’t in love any more”), he now had to work another 16 years before he could think about retiring.
You do not want to be that guy.
It’s not relevant how much money you don’t have NOW. Prenups protect the future results hard work as well as your past and current hard work. Regardless of how much money you have or earn right now, get a fucking prenup.
“If I ask her to sign a prenup, she might get mad and leave me!”
One word: GOOD.
Do you want to marry a woman who will not be with you unless you guarantee her half of all your current and future money if she chooses to break up with you down the road for whatever reason she wants?
Try, TRY to clear through the clouds of your NRE and oneitis and guy-Disney and really think about that.
“Prenups are mean to women. Women need financial assistance raising kids after a divorce.”
Women from prenuped divorces still receive child support. Even if you get a prenup you are still required to pay child support post-divorce to the mother of any children you create. And rightly so. Child support is a valid function. Prenups have nothing whatsoever to do with child support. This is a completely bullshit excuse, usually used by women.
“Hey, I have some money, and she deserves something if we get divorced. It’s kinda mean to give her NOTHING. I mean, she was part of the marriage too.”
First, read what I just said about child support. If the two of you have kids, she won’t get “nothing”.
Second, a common misconception is that if a woman signs a prenup, she is guaranteed to receive NOTHING if she gets divorced. False. Ivana Trump got over $25 million from Donald Trump and they had a prenup. The prenup states what a woman will receive in addition to what she will not receive.
If you ask her to sign a prenup, and she responds by saying she won’t because she doesn’t want “nothing”, then fine. If you really do have some money, negotiate with her, ask her what’s fair for her to financially receive if a divorce occurs, come up with a number together, and put it in the prenup. If you can’t come to an agreement, don’t get married.
Remember, prenups are 100% customizable and can say whatever you want them to say.
“Prenups don’t mean much. They can be contested in court.”
If you live in a country like England or Australia, I’m sad to say you’re right. Prenups don’t really mean much in those countries if the woman takes the trouble to challenge them in court. Guess what that means? If you live in a country like that, DON’T EVER GET LEGALLY MARRIED. Or if you’re just dying to get married, move to the United States or a similar country where prenups actually mean something.
Prenups actually do have power here in the US. Very few American prenups are ever taken to court, and very few of those are ever successfully contested in any way, and even the ones that are usually involve ultra-rich people, and neither you nor me are in that category.
Prenups in the United States are quite solid and quite safe.
“Signing a prenup means you’re intending on getting a divorce down the road! That’s mean! What’s the point of getting married then???”
Do you have a spare tire in your car? Ah, then you must be intending on your tire to blow out while you’re driving on the freeway. Do you have life insurance? Ah, you must be intending on dying soon. That’s nice. Do you wear your seat belt when you drive? Ah yes, you must be intending on crashing your car into a brick wall. That’s awesome. Do you lock your doors at night? Wow…you’re intending on having a serial killer enter your house to murder you and rape your dog.
Yeah, it’s a much better idea to keep your doors completely unlocked at night. You’ll be much safer that way because you won’t be intending on anything going wrong.
I don’t care if you love her. I don’t care if you’ve fucked 27 women and she’s Not Like The Rest™. I don’t care if she threatens to leave you. I don’t care if your mom is calling you insensitive. I don’t care if her girlfriends are saying bad things about on you on Facebook…
GET A PRENUP, OR DON’T GET MARRIED.